Belier

Hi Everyone: Well I have taken time and given myself the chance to get used to the new me and it is now time to take the first brave step and go out on a date. Dinner and a show. I have waited 5 months to feel ready.

I am just going to say I am a non drinker, it does not agree with me, hopefully I will be witty and charming enough that he won't feel the need to liquour me up.

This is a huge step for me everyone it is me taking steps into the life I want and deserve. I have no expectations other than to have a good night and hopefully really get along with my date. Any comments words of encouragement or even experiences?

One foot in front of the other...

instant

wishing you all the best- I like your plan !

Dee74

have a great time Ring

D

Kjell

Hi Ring-

Good for you.

I'm 18 months sober (and through all 12 steps of AA), so it'll be time for me here soon too.

Kjell~

EmeraldRose

I'm glad you're at a place in your life where you feel comfortable heading out on a date. I hope you have a good time. Be home before midnight and no kissing on the first date!

1undone

How did it go? When is it? I'm confused. LOL

CarolD

Have a grand time...

ttbp

Have a great time xx

Anna

It sounds good, Ring, I hope you have a good time.

FNB3

That's awesome! Have fun! What's really cool is that this is such an essential part of sobriety. Just think of all the different emotions you will get to feel here without substances. Great growth will come to you going through nervousness, awkwardness, excitement, ect...and do it all without using. You are really lucky. I never remembered feeling any of that stuff when I was high and now I'm married! Dammit!

Enjoy...

Mida

What better time than a first date to be truly 100% present? Well, except maybe a job interview, lol. It's great you are sober and will be able to "be yourself" and enjoy the evening without worrying whether you are slurring your words, are coming across like a lush, are walking wobbly, are talking too loudly, etc., etc...

Have fun and let us know how it goes

And FNB3, lol about the married part! I know, right!

newwings

I do hope it goes well tonight! How amazing it is that he will see you as the true, 100% YOU. I can definitely assure you I never made a good relationship choice when wearing my 'wine goggles'.

Do let us know how it goes~~

Pigtails

Congratulations and good luck! I'm cheering you on from the sidelines... I am currently not dating on purpose. I have made really bad decisions when it comes to men and my last relationship was just awful, I mean, soap opera awful, and I only got out of that less than two weeks ago. (It's been 12 days of no contact with him... which took a very long time and a lot of false break-ups to get to but this time it is for real!, and 2 days of no alcohol. I really don't know what was the biggest problem in my life, him or alcohol, but I'm glad to be moving on from both of them!) So anyway this is the first time in my life I've ever been truly alone with no relationship or romantic attachment or even romantic interest. It's so scary but I want to keep it that way for awhile until, like you said, I find the real me and I'm comfortable with her and know who/what I want in a partner and don't settle for less! I get scared thinking about what a date would be like without alcohol. If the guy drinks and wants me to drink too... ahhh, scary, I'm not ready but I'm so glad you are and I hope you will give us an update and tell us how it goes. :-) Good luck!!!

Belier

hi Everyone: I am trying to stay positive but after talking about where we are meeting and him saying we will have a few drinks, I said that I don't drink kept it light and said fine with him drinking etc,,, but got a text saying that a few things have come up and he will contact me in a week or two. Wow could this be just because I don't drink. I am feeling some really unusally emotions, angry at myself that I ever let alcohol become a problem, why can I not just be normal. Also thinking perhaps a few things did come up and I am being overly sensitive. Feeling very deflated guys. Really Really Upset, maybe this means I am not ready. Also this may be a good thing, if he cant accept me how I am now what chance of anything real..... oh my..

Happier

I'm sorry to hear that. Please try to not let it get you down. I believe things happen for a reason and you should have no worries and no regrets.
It is up to you to decide if it is the right time to date. Discuss it with some close, sober friends that you trust then make up your mind.
When it is the right time then please try to remember that there are LOTS of new people to meet out there. Try to enjoy the ups, the downs, and the life lessons until right one works out. If this guy works out then fine. If not, try not to waste anymore time worrying about someone that isn't right for you.
Wishing you all the best. Hold you head up and be proud that you were, and will continue to be, true to yourself!

Dee74

Hey Ring

It's easy to get carried away, I know...but maybe something really has come up?

and, in the worst case scenario, if the non drinking is an issue for the guy, he's obviously a dropkick and not someone worthy of your attention

You are normal - you're just someone who doesn't drink

D

Manz

Ring Hugs.

What Dee said... I have nothing to add except support and hugs.

Reset

I'm sorry that happened. Think of it this way- if he did bail because of you not drinking, drinking is obviously important to him, and if it's that important you two are probably not a good match anyway. I know it's hard to think of it that way right now but that's how I'd try to look at it.

Maybe next time someone asks you to meet up for a drink, instead of saying anything about not drinking, just show up and order a tonic and lime. That's a "drink" after all.

soberjohndoe

A funny take on the dating life of those in recoveryYouTube - ‪Jim Gaffigan-Drinking and Chatting‬‏

LaFemme

As usual...I couldn't possibly say it better than Dee so I will just repost what he said.

Love and hugs.