JACKRUSSELLGIRL

I got sucked into an argument and I know I should have walk away. I got the paperwork today and he said I'll sign your precious paperwork so you can destroy a great family. I said I didn't destroy us, the drinking did. He said, I have not drank in months so that is not the problem. He started all about the wedding vows and how I am not honoring them. What haooened til death do us part.

I just feel like he is really trying to do a number on me. This is hard enough and I don't need the BS guilt trips. I tried to say alcoholism destroyed us and he kept attacking back.

lillamy

Deep breaths.
Identify the quacking as quacking.

I was where you are. With a RAH who was telling me exactly that: What happened to "until death do us part?" and I thought "what happened to 'to love and to cherish'?"

HE broke the contract. You're just dealing with the legal fallout of it.

Don't you dare take on any guilt.
The only thing you're responsible for is yourself.
Not him.
He's an adult.
And if he thought this family was so great and precious? He had plenty of time to show that by getting help for his addiction.

Onwards & upwards, girl. Hugs.

zrx1200R

say what ever you have to say to get him to sign. Let him quack. He quacks for his sake. Not yours.

Zebras can't hide their stripes.

Seren

(((JRG))) You can't have a rational conversation with an untreated (dry) alcoholic any more than you can with one that is actively drinking.

He is just trying to manipulate and control how you think and feel. Arguing back with him is just trying to manipulate and control how HE thinks and feels. There is not winning with this situation.

Protect yourself, walk away, don't engage........Huge hugs and prayers, HG

Ladybug0130

"What happened till death to us part?" is a classic way to make you feel guilty. MY STBXAH says that a lot. He had to come to our house today with a cop to pick up some of his stuff and was super rude and belligerent to me the whole time, going on about how I was taking his stuff and was generally a horrible person. Then he turned to me halfway through and said "you wouldn't be leaving me if I had cancer, would you?" Talk about a guilt trip!

fourmaggie

yep yep yep


Q U A C K

dollydo

You cannot reason with an unreasonable person. You are just upsetting yourself, you are not impacting him one little bit.

Let him quack,all you want to do is to get him to go forward with the divorce and if you have to keep your mouth shut to accomplish your goal, so be it.

NYCDoglvr

In recovery we call an alcoholic who doesn't drink but has no program a "dry drunk". Now it's not because we think we're so superior, it's because we know being in your husband's shoes -- dealing with raw emotion without alcohol -- with no support or help is pure hell.
He has to walk his own road, you have another journey. Just keep on doing what your doing and let off steam in here. You're doing terrific! It's a very big step.

pixilation

Mine yells at me "what happened to love, cherish and OBEY!" Exactly like that too. funny, I don't remember saying obey.

LaPinturaBella

Umm, OBEY went out when the world started coming to it's senses and we got the right (finally) to vote!?!?!

pixilation

Oh, but that's when the country started it's downslide! Women should never have gotten the right to vote, never gone into the workplace, etc.

I will admit I haven't heard that part of the rant in months though. It used to be a weekly thing.

LaPinturaBella

Yes, us evil women. Hahahahahahahahaha...can't wait til one of us is finally elected president...then the country will implode!!!!!

Jadmack25

I guess you already know he is quacking and a pain in your nether regions, so I will just say he is

laurie6781

Oh Jadmack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

roflmao

So succinct and to the point!!!!!!!

After that there is no reason to reiterate all that has been said.

Thank you for the 'early' morning laugh to start my day.

Perfect response!!!!!!

(((((JRG))))) please recognize the manipulation and QUACKING and don't respond. In his distorted reality, as long as he continues to 'blame' you he does not have to look at himself, drunk or dry.

Love and hugs,

m1k3

Is it ok if I post here even though I am chromosome-ally deficent. (XY vs XX)

I was thinking about this last night and one of the things I try to do is focus on what's really important. Not easy and I have to remind myself to do it.

Enjoy the day, the visit, the pride, your mom and your son. In the greater scheme of things that tub isn't important at all. You were upset with your AH's behavior. Its tuff to remember but you shouldn't be surprised when an Alcoholic act like an Alcoholic.

Have fun this weekend and enjoy! Don't sweat the small stuff.

Your friend,

m1k3

Ignore my previous post. You are right, men are idiots and I just proved it. I was responding to another thread but I posted it here.

Please accept my humble apologies, I am a moron.

JACKRUSSELLGIRL

Thanks everyone!! I know we should not engage but we are all human and sometimes it happens. There is no instructions on how to end a relationship so I guess I will have to take it one step at a time and learn as I go along. I must admit you do feel better as time goes on and you keep the focus on yourself even with a few slips here and there!

You_Rock_

barb dwyer

Just get the signature!

"Yes dear" yourself right into your new life, hon!

"Whatever, a-hole" comes AFTER the paper is signed.

lol

GettingBy

That is just about the funniest thing I have read all day!!!

fourmaggie

HAY! a new QUACKER