Raptor

Hey folks

My 1 month sober "birthday" is comming up which im extreemly proud of. My problem is that we are going away this week for a work function. Historically this would be a big "drinking" week-end. The majority of the people have NO idea that im a recovering alcoholic so the temtation to drink is going to be huge.

Please help with ideas to avoid drinking.

Hope you guys can help...

betterlate

Pretty good results have come my way by attending the party, keeping a soft drink in my hand, and turning down all offers of alcohol. Most people don't care at all if you are drinking or not, something that surprised me in early sobriety. I always thought everybody wanted everybody else to drink. I haven't really found that to be true.

One possible danger is that you'll realize how repetitious and boring the inebriated ravings of drunk people are when they imbibe together, and want to leave the party and go for a walk outside or something. Listen to those urges.

billsaintjames

Mentally prepare yourself for being asked "Do you want a drink?", and possibly the follow-up, "Why not?" The first time someone asked me those questions, I felt a little awkward responding, but it gets more comfortable with time. I just say "I don't like it anymore". You don't have to give anyone any more information than that. Take care my friend.

endlesspatience

What would be the implications of your choice if you choose not to attend?

Raptor

Its vertually impossible as its a family outing arranged by my wifes company.

EmeraldRose

Only us alcoholics worry about not drinking and what to say...you may be surprised that if you stay away from where the alcohol is kept and continue to 'look' entertained probably no one will even notice you aren't drinking.
If they have 'special' cups for mixed drinks grab one and fill it with soda, no one will know if there's alcohol in it or not.
I'm sure they'll be games to play, volleyball, softball, etc -get involved and stay busy. We often worry about things and they often turn out not as bad as we think.
Good Luck.

Latte

I agree with the others, I was far more worried about what I was drinking (soda, etc.) than others were.

"You know, I'm on this new health kick and drinking doesn't fit in with it!" is a great line if people keep pushing.

Missy7

But keep something in your hand. I find that we like to think we're worried about what others think about us not drinking, but like smoking, I find drinking to be a habit and I "need" a drink. I go through a tomato juice at about the same rate my husband downs a vodka/pepsi. I drink pepsi more slowly. So I keep a pepsi. You can't have a new drink till that one's gone, right? So you only have to think about it so often.

Anna

I would definitely try to not go. My sobriety was more important to me, than any party.

If you do go, then try to arrive late, and leave early.

Zube

Raptor-

This one requires proper timing. Just before drinks are to be served, you bring up to your friends, wife co-workers, etc., (wife is already in on this) in a hushed voice and focused yet nonchalant way...

"Do you remember hearing about the United Airline jet that had to return to Houston after taking off last week due to an unruly drunken passenger? (pause for a moment, then continue)....Well......."...

...at this point raise eyebrows, kind of give a coy smile, and innocently shrug your shoulders insinuating that the "passenger" was in fact you.

If still offered a drink after this, smile again, wink (optional), and say "just a Coke for me, thanks..."

Works every time.
Zube

but seriously, Raptor...have a Coke, or don't go. No function is worth jeopardizing your sobriety.

Mcribb

Anna and all these people have good points, Sobriety is #1 especially when you have little to no experience dealing with events early in sobriety. What you can do now is have a sober person's phone number and get into the habit of calling and then call 3 or 4 times during the event. Of course all of this requires work and a burning fire to stay sober. For me my life was on the line, so you bet your butt I was always ready to call or take action. Missing a party isn't going to kill me, but alcohol will.

Dee74

One month is really early for all this.
I really had to weigh up my priorities.

If you decide to go, go in thinking positively. Be forearmed.

Although this is written for Thanksgiving, there are some really good tips in here that are useful for any social occasion.

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Whatever you do, remember whats important, Raptor.
If in doubt, leave.

D