jacee

I was told tonight by my not so supportive boy friend that alcoholism isn't a disease. He said "what disease makes a person have to drive down to the beer store?". This bothers me and makes me wonder why is it called a disease? Is smoking cigarettes a disease? Are all addictions considered diseases? What classifies a disease?
I hate to compare my problem to the horrible diseases out there that kill people. And I have never even mentioned the word disease to him. This has taken a whole new form with me and my problem with what he said.
This is all coming from an ex meth head, Hydro addict, and ex smoker whom is non religious. He doesn't even believe in God so that isn't where he is coming from with his need for me to drop everything that I am doing.
He starts this psychosomatic speech with me every time I talk about us splitting up so I can at least get some semblance of a normal life.

newwings

I'm also one of those in two minds about the 'disease' of alcoholism/addiction; however, I don't want to stir it up as it's one of those questions that people feel very strongly about. I do want to say however, that it IS comparable to 'horrible diseases out there that kill people', since heavy drinking/using can lead to serious illness, physical and mental suffering, and death. So, without arguing about distinctions - this, whatever it's termed as, 'disease' or not - is a serious threat to life.

Sorry your boyfriend isn't very supportive. I do wish you the best. Let it roll off..if you can. Everyone believes different things - don't let it affect how YOU feel, since your sobriety is a personal journey, not his.

michelle01

I'm in two minds about it too. I think there are several factors involved in alcoholism and the development of it, personally. But habitual alcohol abuse has been shown to encourage profound dependence and change the structure of the brain over time, and that has implications - the mind is such a complex organ. Some people don't like the term 'disease' and feeling 'powerless'. Powerlessness is one of those paradoxes of recovery though, it may the way in which you choose to use the concept, it has pros and cons. If you use having a 'disease' or being 'powerless' as an excuse to drink, as can happen - if you remain entrenched in that first step of admitting vulnerability, don't move on to connect with that power greater than yourself that is going to help you out of this, then that may be a negative impact. However when I felt my own powerlessness, defeat, inability to recover on my own, that was the point when my own recovery felt like it was beginning to turn around - we surrender to win, as they say in AA. We may not have a choice over all things in our addiction, but we do in the way we choose to deal with it and approach it. It's up to you to weigh the pros and cons of each model and decide the best way for your own recovery - as newwings says, it's a personal journey.

Dee74

Welcome back Jacee

I really don't think it matters whether your bf thinks its a disease or not - heck, I don't even think it's that important what we think it is.

What is important for all of us is action - and for you...both on your addiction, and on your domestic situation.

Is this the same guy you posted about last time?
It doesn't sound like much has changed?

D

instant

I think the disease argument is a side issue when we are struggling to get a grip on sobriety and hang in there. The question is do you want the drug in your life and what are you prepared to do to give it up and develop new ways of living.

He might be raising the issue for reasons that have nothing to do with the "argument"

Take care

Rusty Zipper

semantics, their killing us with semantics

bottom line,

alcoholism does kill

and if i remember correctly, i think some diseases do too?

carry on the debating society

jacee,

susanlauren

Jacee: I hate to compare my problem to the horrible diseases out there that kill people.

Alcoholism kills approximately 100,000 people in the US each year. There are a multitude of ways to die: end stage liver disease, alcoholic cardiomyopathy, suicide, alcohol poisoning and overdose, accidents, DTs, seizures, asphyxiation, wet brain, and the list goes on. Dead is dead. No one debates or argues from the grave. The more important question is: Do you want to live or do you want to die?

Susan

topspin

The 'action' part ( ,.....what Dee writes of ) was/is the most important factor.

The semantics of desease" ; mental condition, etc is just noise to me. It's interesting to read what folks have to say about it, ( I guess !?!) .....but , eventually, after all is bantered back and forth, " action " works the best, (for me, anyway )

i know one thing , for sure. Wading into stress inducing conversations is not on the top of my list today, in sobriety.

Sky sure is blue this mornin'

EmeraldRose

Technically, they do classify alcohol as a disease. Lots of internet mumbo jumbo you can read thru to prove him wrong.
But like Dee said, does it really matter? Is he arguing the point just to argue or does he have a better suggestion of how you are going to recover if it isn't a disease?
My first husband would argue a point just to argue a point -if it was right or wrong. I wouldn't waste all that much energy on this if I were you -save your energy for recovery. Wishing you peace and strength.

Latte

I no longer argue the disease aspect with people. I know how to treat the disease I have so I do it. I don't have to convince anyone but myself that I have it and I'm good there.

I'm so grateful that the treatment for this disease is out there.

laurie6781

Disease, affliction whatever. You are the one that has decided you want to stop, so call it what you want, ie "Aunt Mary's curse", lol

I personally look at it like this.

I have Diabetes. That is classified a 'disease.' Now to keep my Diabetes in check and in a remission of sorts I must, eat a certain way, exercise, monitor my blood sugar and take insulin. Diabetes kills.

I have Alcoholism. AMA did classify it as a 'disease.' Now to keep my Alcoholism in check and in remission, I had to put the plug in the jug, get the toxins out of my system, work on me and learn news ways to live and continue to do those things. Alcoholism kills.

To me it is a disease that I can keep in remission by abstaining and learning tools to continue to abstain, so I can enjoy life.

J M H O

I suspect your BF does not like the fact that he has lost a 'drinking' partner and that you are now 'acting' differently and are not totally 'focused' on him. A lot of humans don't like and do not know how to deal with change.

Therefore he is trying to 'sabotage' your recovery to keep things 'status quo. Again, J M H O.

Love and hugs,

holdfold

Interesting to see the opinions ... I don't think it is a disease but a mental condition and that is what helps me deal with it ... the journey of redemption is through positive thought and knowing you can do it. ... relapsing is not a complete disaster as you know you can 'do it' which gives you the hope and tools for the next try (and I am not advocating that relapse is a good thing!). So to some it is semantics and others not (which in itself can be seen as semantics!) For me alcoholism is like a large forest through which you have to walk ... the path is made on the first attempt and the self knowledge gained is the tool that keeps feeding the positive reinforcement not to drink. Whatever viewpoint makes you the most comfortable, IT IS KEY TO BE SURROUNDED BY GOOD AND POSITIVE INFLUENCES. Be well

Zencat

Alcoholism or alcohol abuse/dependance, here in the US its both a disease and disorder. The medical community calls it a disease. The psychiatric peeps call it a disorder. I call it an illness. But no matter what one call it, its no longer considered a moral weakness.

It could be that your BF thinks that you have a moral issue or maybe that's the feel I get from your post. When I feel I'm being accused of being morally judged because of my past alcoholism...I let them have their say and be done with it.

Kjell

Hi Jacee-

I had to change (then later wanted to change) my people, places, and things in order to have any chance at long term, solid, sobriety.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I really let myself get suckered in to some horrible relationships (romantic, friends, family).

Maybe this is true with you too?

Kjell~

Anna

Alcoholism is a disease (not a character defect) and it surely does kill people.

It sounds like you need a break from your boyfriend.