I *really* want to quit
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I *really* want to quit
I was on this site before, briefly.
I'm an alcoholic and would like to quit more than anything else at this point (know that I have to do this before I can reasonably progress with anything else).
I am very self aware about my pattern and reasons of drinking, yet so hard to make a plan.
Thanks for listening
I'm an alcoholic and would like to quit more than anything else at this point (know that I have to do this before I can reasonably progress with anything else).
I am very self aware about my pattern and reasons of drinking, yet so hard to make a plan.
Thanks for listening
to SR
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome. I can assure you we all can stop the madness and find our way into recovery. I too was very self aware and seemed to have the causes of my drinking figured out. Once I got sober I came to a different conclusion than the one I formulated while drinking. My point is, once we clear through the fog we see things (almost everything) differently.
The reason that I drank so much was because I liked the affects of alcohol. I like what it did for me. Even through all of the bad stuff I went through due to it, the solution that alcohol provided me was better than anything else I had. So, I tried to just manage the misery enough so I could still get some of the benefits. That plan failed me time and time again. One drink was too many and 20 was not enough.
I guess what I'm saying is I couldn't "think my way" into recovery. It took / takes a lot of action on my part. The most vital piece of the plan is support. I couldn't do this on my own. I had constructed so many plans in the past, better eating, better exercising, working harder, etc... all designed to help me forget about drinking. They never worked.
What finally worked for me was talking to people in recovery on a daily basis. This site is great for that. I also started going to AA, that helped a ton as well.
I wish you the best. You can get better! Don't give up!
The reason that I drank so much was because I liked the affects of alcohol. I like what it did for me. Even through all of the bad stuff I went through due to it, the solution that alcohol provided me was better than anything else I had. So, I tried to just manage the misery enough so I could still get some of the benefits. That plan failed me time and time again. One drink was too many and 20 was not enough.
I guess what I'm saying is I couldn't "think my way" into recovery. It took / takes a lot of action on my part. The most vital piece of the plan is support. I couldn't do this on my own. I had constructed so many plans in the past, better eating, better exercising, working harder, etc... all designed to help me forget about drinking. They never worked.
What finally worked for me was talking to people in recovery on a daily basis. This site is great for that. I also started going to AA, that helped a ton as well.
I wish you the best. You can get better! Don't give up!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I *really* want to quit
This *really* looks like you are still wishy washy..I like to see something like I REALLY want to quit..with emphasis on the REALLY!
I made lists..maybe you have already done it? Also write down (personal-only for you) some of the worst things that you did while drunk. As far as the lists..my reasons for quitting WAY outweighed the reasons NOT to quit..I also had to change my entire life. Who I associated with (all drunks because that is what I was so why not surround myself with them) and places where alcohol was an option. I read all the catastrophic illness that comes from drinking ..that will make you shudder to think! I wish you well..
This *really* looks like you are still wishy washy..I like to see something like I REALLY want to quit..with emphasis on the REALLY!
I made lists..maybe you have already done it? Also write down (personal-only for you) some of the worst things that you did while drunk. As far as the lists..my reasons for quitting WAY outweighed the reasons NOT to quit..I also had to change my entire life. Who I associated with (all drunks because that is what I was so why not surround myself with them) and places where alcohol was an option. I read all the catastrophic illness that comes from drinking ..that will make you shudder to think! I wish you well..
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: San Diego
Posts: 77
Welcome back Haennie! I am on Day 12 today, so still just starting out but this site has been incredible. I am on here every night. I know 12 days isn't much but it is the longest I have gone without drinking in almost four years.
Hope that you find the support you need. Looking forward to being on this journey with you.
Hope that you find the support you need. Looking forward to being on this journey with you.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Welcome back; I'm very glad you found your way back here! As you probably already noticed (since you came back and all), there are tons of wonderful people on this site, with lots of experience and support to share with you and me and anyone who will listen. I found this site on the day I knew I could no longer have a relationship with alcohol if I intended for my life to turn out the way I wanted. I've been here and alcohol-free ever since.
I find it interesting that you said you are self-aware of the reasons of your drinking. Personally, I think that, especially in the beginning, we often give too much time and thought to what MADE US DRINK, when we should instead focus on what happens WHEN WE DRINK. See, I always thought of myself as a pretty intelligent guy. Surely if I could figure out what was at the root of my drinking I would be able to conquer it and thus solve my problem with alcohol. That thinking led me round and round many times, always ending me up in the same place or somewhere worse.
I was finally able to break out of the cycle when I began focusing on the things that happened when I drank, rather than the causes of my drinking. That type of self-analysis could keep me in my head forever, when I really needed to get outside of my head and view myself and my actions objectively. One day, instead of thinking of the things in my life that led me to pick up a drink (and many more beyond), I started thinking about the problems that picking up a drink led to in my life. Problems like jail, and debt, and losing jobs, and ruining relationships with people for whom I cared very deeply...Frankly, I reached a point where it was unimportant to me what led to my taking a drink; what was important to me was that the drink landed me in lockup. The judge didn't care why I was drinking that night. He just knew I was over the limit so I was under arrest.
After that I no longer concerned myself with the reasons behind my drinking. I'm not sure I ever will be really worried about such things. I just know that drinking alcohol leads to bad things happening in my life, so I just don't drink alcohol any longer. And by golly, it's worked. In the 14 months since I had my last drink, I haven't been arrested, I have a respectable job and pay my bills on time, my relationships with my fiancee and family and friends are better than I ever imagined, and I'm a normal, upstanding member of society.
Why did I drink? Don't know, don't really care. Is my life better without alcohol in it? Yes, and immeasurably so.
I find it interesting that you said you are self-aware of the reasons of your drinking. Personally, I think that, especially in the beginning, we often give too much time and thought to what MADE US DRINK, when we should instead focus on what happens WHEN WE DRINK. See, I always thought of myself as a pretty intelligent guy. Surely if I could figure out what was at the root of my drinking I would be able to conquer it and thus solve my problem with alcohol. That thinking led me round and round many times, always ending me up in the same place or somewhere worse.
I was finally able to break out of the cycle when I began focusing on the things that happened when I drank, rather than the causes of my drinking. That type of self-analysis could keep me in my head forever, when I really needed to get outside of my head and view myself and my actions objectively. One day, instead of thinking of the things in my life that led me to pick up a drink (and many more beyond), I started thinking about the problems that picking up a drink led to in my life. Problems like jail, and debt, and losing jobs, and ruining relationships with people for whom I cared very deeply...Frankly, I reached a point where it was unimportant to me what led to my taking a drink; what was important to me was that the drink landed me in lockup. The judge didn't care why I was drinking that night. He just knew I was over the limit so I was under arrest.
After that I no longer concerned myself with the reasons behind my drinking. I'm not sure I ever will be really worried about such things. I just know that drinking alcohol leads to bad things happening in my life, so I just don't drink alcohol any longer. And by golly, it's worked. In the 14 months since I had my last drink, I haven't been arrested, I have a respectable job and pay my bills on time, my relationships with my fiancee and family and friends are better than I ever imagined, and I'm a normal, upstanding member of society.
Why did I drink? Don't know, don't really care. Is my life better without alcohol in it? Yes, and immeasurably so.
...all require action and change.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
I really wanted to quit drinking too. But until I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, I kept relapsing. Now I've got 18 months and no desire to drink - we can recover.
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