Son is suicidal and addicted..no money SOS
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2
Son is suicidal and addicted..no money SOS
My 21 year old son has tried to kill himself, he is addicted to drugs (opiates and xanax I believe). He was taken to the hospital in NJ right now,(thank God, the relief that he is at least temporarily safe is indescribable) but they will only keep him for detox and then will release him. I do not live in the country. He has told me that he will kill himself when he gets out because he has nowhere to live, no money and at least if he is dead he will be with his grandfather and aunt etc who have passed and not in the hell he is in. He wants so much , on the other hand, to get into long term rehab (residential) get healthy and get a life back but we have NO money. and he knows the reality is if he doesnt go directly into a rehab he will be dead..I want him out of state..His 'friends' are all opiate addicts and he has been robbed, beaten and homeless . I am trying to research places , maybe in florida as his grandmother is there , but anywhere , but it is overwhelming and i was wondering if anyone here can point me in a direction so his sister and I can find a place for my son to get healthy and get his life back. This is a smart, handsome, funny, loving boy who was a wonderful athlete and can do anything he put his mind too, but I truly feel this is the last chance for him to break out of his darkness..and the doctors also feel his body wont survive more drug use. But yet they will discharge him tot he streets again in a few days. Can anyone offer me help? Thanking you through endless tears...
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,870
Please check out the Salvation Army. They have a free rehab program.
The Salvation Army: Adult Rehabilitation
The Salvation Army: Adult Rehabilitation
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
mcaar
Welcome to SR......you may not find the answers you are looking for but you will find many kind people who understand your anguish. We all have addicts in our lives whom we love dearly.
Your post expresses your pain and desparation so clearly and it breaks my heart. I have a son who has threatened (but never followed through) suicide for many years and is deeply held captive by his addiction.
Most states have programs for addicts who truly want to get clean. Hopefully the hospital he is in will provide a counselor who can explain these things to him. But.....he would have to be a willing participant. There are also programs through the Salvation Army.
My son has been through two inpatient and two out patient programs. Where is he right now? Homeless, spiraling in his addiction, and constantly telling me that he wishes he would just die. I feel tremendous compassion for his pain and wish that my love could heal him. But if love could cure addiction, not one of us would be here. I have placed him in his Higher Power's hands. I pray for him daily.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your dear son. I hope that this is the "bottom" for him that we all talk about. I pray that someone at that hospital will see that he is a sick young man who needs help and will offer their assistance.
gentle hugs
ke
Welcome to SR......you may not find the answers you are looking for but you will find many kind people who understand your anguish. We all have addicts in our lives whom we love dearly.
Your post expresses your pain and desparation so clearly and it breaks my heart. I have a son who has threatened (but never followed through) suicide for many years and is deeply held captive by his addiction.
Most states have programs for addicts who truly want to get clean. Hopefully the hospital he is in will provide a counselor who can explain these things to him. But.....he would have to be a willing participant. There are also programs through the Salvation Army.
My son has been through two inpatient and two out patient programs. Where is he right now? Homeless, spiraling in his addiction, and constantly telling me that he wishes he would just die. I feel tremendous compassion for his pain and wish that my love could heal him. But if love could cure addiction, not one of us would be here. I have placed him in his Higher Power's hands. I pray for him daily.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your dear son. I hope that this is the "bottom" for him that we all talk about. I pray that someone at that hospital will see that he is a sick young man who needs help and will offer their assistance.
gentle hugs
ke
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2
Thank you for your kindness and taking the time to respond. He wants to go to rehab and is meeting with his counselor later today. He really wants to go and that is the only hopeful part of this. However , we both know, if he doesnt get into a place upon release from detox, he wont survive.....
I'm so sad and sorry for you and your son. This is absolutely heartbreaking.
I'm so sad and sorry for you and your son. This is absolutely heartbreaking.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 26
Find your own support
I understand your pain. My son is currently in recovery, but seven months ago he was at rock bottom and suicidal. Because he was not on our insurance, he was able to get some state funding for rehab. Check into his community programs. Usually the county has a service for directing people to different resources.
And I totally agree with calling the Salvation Army. They have a six-month Adult Rehabilitation Program. Free of charge. Your son would have a bed and a roof over his head. He'd have a 12 Step Program to work. He'd have work to do (usually in the Salvation Army stores). He'd have transportation to and from work.
It's not a lock-down program. He could leave any time he wanted, but unless he's in jail, nothing is lock-down. We can't force this on them. That's the hardest thing.
I STRONGLY suggest you find a local support group for YOURSELF. Go online and look up meetings in your area through Al Anon, Nar Anon and Families Anonymous. Between those three groups, you should be able to find something.
And don't worry about going to Al Anon if your son is a drug user, because all drug users must refrain from alcohol as well. They can't be an opiate addict and drink. Period. I go to an Al Anon group and talk about my son being an addict and an alcoholic.
Getting yourself some help is critical. Please know this.
And I totally agree with calling the Salvation Army. They have a six-month Adult Rehabilitation Program. Free of charge. Your son would have a bed and a roof over his head. He'd have a 12 Step Program to work. He'd have work to do (usually in the Salvation Army stores). He'd have transportation to and from work.
It's not a lock-down program. He could leave any time he wanted, but unless he's in jail, nothing is lock-down. We can't force this on them. That's the hardest thing.
I STRONGLY suggest you find a local support group for YOURSELF. Go online and look up meetings in your area through Al Anon, Nar Anon and Families Anonymous. Between those three groups, you should be able to find something.
And don't worry about going to Al Anon if your son is a drug user, because all drug users must refrain from alcohol as well. They can't be an opiate addict and drink. Period. I go to an Al Anon group and talk about my son being an addict and an alcoholic.
Getting yourself some help is critical. Please know this.
I AM CANADIAN
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Niagara Region, Canada
Posts: 2,578
@KINDEYES...i did not know how bad my cousin was...until it was too late and died...I so agree with your post...
please if you can AL ANON or NAR ANON will help, plus read all the stickies you can,...they do have so much wisdom....
HE needs to do his own recovery now...this is his call....and time for boundaries and detachment....
my heart bleeds for you at this time...keep the keyboard handy...we are all here to support you and help you out with our own lives of addicts and alcoholics...
the 3Cs
you did not cause this
you can not control this
and there is NO CURE
please if you can AL ANON or NAR ANON will help, plus read all the stickies you can,...they do have so much wisdom....
HE needs to do his own recovery now...this is his call....and time for boundaries and detachment....
my heart bleeds for you at this time...keep the keyboard handy...we are all here to support you and help you out with our own lives of addicts and alcoholics...
the 3Cs
you did not cause this
you can not control this
and there is NO CURE
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Well hopefully his counselor explains to him that Salvation Army has an excellent FREE rehab program for those that WANT recovery.
It is as long as they need to stay, be it 90 days up to and over a year.
You now need to take care of you. Trust in an HP of your understanding that he is in HP's hands and take care of you.
Come here, to read and post and cry and yes even laugh. I don't know what country you are in so do not know if there are some AlAnon meetings where yu are but they can be a big help for YOU.
There is also a wonderful book by Melodie Beattie called "Co Dependent No More" that is available at Amazon.com and other places on line very reasonable.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care so very much.
Love and hugs,
It is as long as they need to stay, be it 90 days up to and over a year.
You now need to take care of you. Trust in an HP of your understanding that he is in HP's hands and take care of you.
Come here, to read and post and cry and yes even laugh. I don't know what country you are in so do not know if there are some AlAnon meetings where yu are but they can be a big help for YOU.
There is also a wonderful book by Melodie Beattie called "Co Dependent No More" that is available at Amazon.com and other places on line very reasonable.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care so very much.
Love and hugs,
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