had_any_"light-bulb"_moments_in_sobriety?
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
had_any_"light-bulb"_moments_in_sobriety?
The first time I heard this, I was in very early sobriety, still thinking I could somehow, someway control my drinking, and I returned to drinking a few times (w/ devastating results) before I finally got sober for good.
…but upon hearing this, I knew immediately that I related and this gave me hope.
We were having trouble with our personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people (page 52, AA Big Book).
This gave me hope b/c if I felt this way, and this was already written years ago, then there is a solution and other people feel the same way I do.
I’ve had many “light bulb” moments inside the rooms of AA and also here on SR (this is but one).
How about you?
Kjell~
…but upon hearing this, I knew immediately that I related and this gave me hope.
We were having trouble with our personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people (page 52, AA Big Book).
This gave me hope b/c if I felt this way, and this was already written years ago, then there is a solution and other people feel the same way I do.
I’ve had many “light bulb” moments inside the rooms of AA and also here on SR (this is but one).
How about you?
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
I have them quite consistently, especially in meetings. Not just BB quotes either but listening to other people in those meetings speak.
I'm so glad that you are continuing to have these moments. It's such a wonderful feeling.
I'm so glad that you are continuing to have these moments. It's such a wonderful feeling.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I was in and out of sobriety ....while still trying to keep my job in a restaurant/bar
While riding a rush hour packed bus...one of my fellow AA members...homeless
tattered and smelly spied me and yelled down the aisle....
"girlie...ya ain't never gonna git sober workin in them thar juke joints"
Zing....I gave notice that day....and left the biz. Took an office job and started fresh on my sober journey.
Thanks for Tom who cared enough to embarrass me publically with the truth...
that was the first of many eye openers..and ceertainly the one that influenced me the most.
While riding a rush hour packed bus...one of my fellow AA members...homeless
tattered and smelly spied me and yelled down the aisle....
"girlie...ya ain't never gonna git sober workin in them thar juke joints"
Zing....I gave notice that day....and left the biz. Took an office job and started fresh on my sober journey.
Thanks for Tom who cared enough to embarrass me publically with the truth...
that was the first of many eye openers..and ceertainly the one that influenced me the most.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 64
Hmm I guess I see it more as returning to awareness by being sober and seeing the light bulbs that were always there but fogged over with a cloud of booze. Things like gratitude and small wonders abound once you can see them and actually look for them. I think the BB and other books can help make that transition easier.
Just my perception on my path and quite enjoying each light bulb being turned on before my eyes.
Just my perception on my path and quite enjoying each light bulb being turned on before my eyes.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Sometimes, no matter how many times I've heard it in a meeting, or read it in literature, something doesn't sink in until I've experienced it myself.
I didn't really understand about having reservations in my program and how they were an inviation to relapse. I mean, of course I wanted recovery! How coudl I possibly have ANY reservations?
Now, playing "connect the dots" after a very recent relapse, I understand what a reservation is, how I stashed little bits of addictive behavior and made excuses for it in my program, and how those things roared to life recently. I went from zero to sixty in the course of a few hours, but looking back see that the relapse actually started months before.
I thought I believed I was an addict. I thought I believed that my recovery program was the only way for this addict to address life successfully, but I see that I did not actually believe that. I thought there was one more justified hit for me out there, and that given the right circumstances, it was going to be OK. I've been humbled (hopefully for real this time) and realize that this addict thing is deeper and scarier and more deadly than I first gave it credit for.
I have a deeper understanding of what it means to be an addict, of how deadly it is, and how much denial I've been living in.
I didn't really understand about having reservations in my program and how they were an inviation to relapse. I mean, of course I wanted recovery! How coudl I possibly have ANY reservations?
Now, playing "connect the dots" after a very recent relapse, I understand what a reservation is, how I stashed little bits of addictive behavior and made excuses for it in my program, and how those things roared to life recently. I went from zero to sixty in the course of a few hours, but looking back see that the relapse actually started months before.
I thought I believed I was an addict. I thought I believed that my recovery program was the only way for this addict to address life successfully, but I see that I did not actually believe that. I thought there was one more justified hit for me out there, and that given the right circumstances, it was going to be OK. I've been humbled (hopefully for real this time) and realize that this addict thing is deeper and scarier and more deadly than I first gave it credit for.
I have a deeper understanding of what it means to be an addict, of how deadly it is, and how much denial I've been living in.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
I have had a few. Lol. One was at about 9.5 months sober. I was full of self pity and was stark raving sober. Someone cared enough to **** me off by reminding me that our troubles are of our own making. My eyes have been open ever since.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
God, tons of light bulb moments.
I was sitting with my addictions therapist 3 years ago, and once again she mentioned that I should try AA.
I said, you want me to try "A-hah?" In Swedish AA is pronounced with a long a, like "ahhh". I had mispronounced AA: "ah-hah" means a eureka moment. We both laughed, but how true it would turn out to be. AA was my "Ah-hah!" moment.
Since then I've had tons of light bulb moments. Like realizing I didn't have to be miserable all the time. I didn't have to accept waking up angry. Maybe, just maybe, I could try relating to people and not just assume I know how they think.
Another light bulb moment was understanding that I could actually ask people what they think...instead of jumping to my own conclusions.
A light bulb moment was realizing how immature I have been most of my life, and how I needed to grow up.
There have been so many...it is hard to count.
I was sitting with my addictions therapist 3 years ago, and once again she mentioned that I should try AA.
I said, you want me to try "A-hah?" In Swedish AA is pronounced with a long a, like "ahhh". I had mispronounced AA: "ah-hah" means a eureka moment. We both laughed, but how true it would turn out to be. AA was my "Ah-hah!" moment.
Since then I've had tons of light bulb moments. Like realizing I didn't have to be miserable all the time. I didn't have to accept waking up angry. Maybe, just maybe, I could try relating to people and not just assume I know how they think.
Another light bulb moment was understanding that I could actually ask people what they think...instead of jumping to my own conclusions.
A light bulb moment was realizing how immature I have been most of my life, and how I needed to grow up.
There have been so many...it is hard to count.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Indiana
Posts: 706
Kjell--
Great question...I've had a few...
I had a lightbulb moment recently when I was struggling with the "Higher Power" of the Step 2. Was it God? Was it A.A.? Was it God AND A.A.?...
Then the light went on...
My HP is God and he speaks to me through the voices of Alcoholics Anonymous. I felt comfortable about moving on to step 3.
...I was traveling through Galesburg, Illinois about a month ago, away from home and kind of in need of an A.A. meeting. I figured I'll look up A.A. in the yellow pages after I find a hotel, hoping I had time. As I was thinking about this, stopped at a red light, I turned to my left and saw a bus stop park bench that read "If you wan't to drink, that's your business, If you wan't to stop drinking, that's our business...", and gave the phone number for the local A.A. chapter. I called right then and got directions to a great meeting.
...Another light bulb moment about one week into sobriety. I had finally gathered myself together enough to clean the pile of beer cans out from the passanger side floor board of my car. Under all the beer cans was a bible that I had left from a church service several months prior. I opened up the bible and the first verse that I opened to was 1 Peter 5:8, beginning "Be sober and vigilant..."
My HP works in wonderful ways...
Zube
Sober since November 21st, 2010
Great question...I've had a few...
I had a lightbulb moment recently when I was struggling with the "Higher Power" of the Step 2. Was it God? Was it A.A.? Was it God AND A.A.?...
Then the light went on...
My HP is God and he speaks to me through the voices of Alcoholics Anonymous. I felt comfortable about moving on to step 3.
...I was traveling through Galesburg, Illinois about a month ago, away from home and kind of in need of an A.A. meeting. I figured I'll look up A.A. in the yellow pages after I find a hotel, hoping I had time. As I was thinking about this, stopped at a red light, I turned to my left and saw a bus stop park bench that read "If you wan't to drink, that's your business, If you wan't to stop drinking, that's our business...", and gave the phone number for the local A.A. chapter. I called right then and got directions to a great meeting.
...Another light bulb moment about one week into sobriety. I had finally gathered myself together enough to clean the pile of beer cans out from the passanger side floor board of my car. Under all the beer cans was a bible that I had left from a church service several months prior. I opened up the bible and the first verse that I opened to was 1 Peter 5:8, beginning "Be sober and vigilant..."
My HP works in wonderful ways...
Zube
Sober since November 21st, 2010
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Lightbulb moment...the first one that comes to mind is when I realized, fully and truly, that I wasn't a "normal" drinker and that I never would be one. That after 30 years of drinking I was no longer wired to have "just one." When I realized that, I quit fighting my not drinking and accepted being sober. Forever.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Brick, NJ
Posts: 271
I woke up one morning after about 30 days of sobriety with the simple realization that once I pick up ONE single drink, I'm of zero use to anyone.....my higher power, loved ones, myself...
It struck me like a lightning bolt that it was that basic. Picking up a drink was beyond even selfishness. The decision good or evil.
It struck me like a lightning bolt that it was that basic. Picking up a drink was beyond even selfishness. The decision good or evil.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
At about three years abstinent from alcohol, miserably unhappy and still suffering from untreated alcoholism, the good Lord graced and gifted me with a real step one experience. That experience removed any barrier to working the remaining eleven steps of the AA program. I fully conceded to the very core of my being that I am alcoholic and I began a journey to a spiritual awakening and to recovery. Susan
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cary, NC
Posts: 715
I've had two pretty recently.
The first came when I finally understood the spiritual malady part of this condition. I had always gotten the physical allergy and mental obsession part - but me spiritually unfit? nah. That was for all those other alcoholics. When I realized the spiritual malady, I finally got a sponsor and worked the steps. Really powerful experience.
Also, in conjunction, I realized that nothing I had done before would get me where I wanted to go. I had to learn something new and formal work with a sponsor started those next steps.
The first came when I finally understood the spiritual malady part of this condition. I had always gotten the physical allergy and mental obsession part - but me spiritually unfit? nah. That was for all those other alcoholics. When I realized the spiritual malady, I finally got a sponsor and worked the steps. Really powerful experience.
Also, in conjunction, I realized that nothing I had done before would get me where I wanted to go. I had to learn something new and formal work with a sponsor started those next steps.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 216
Kjell....good post for me today. I've been resisting AA meetings because I'm stubborn and I feel like I have worked hard at getting all of the other tools in place to stay sober. However, always on my mind is the fact that there is no one in my life who understands what I'm going through except the wonderful group here on SR. After spending a weekend around people that drink and feeling very alone in my new sober life, I decided at 10:30 am this morning to go to a Noon meeting. There were many lightbulb moments and I'm still in tears. One of the guys who spoke was my sister's ex-husband who hid his alcohol and drug abuse from her and did alot of damage to her life. I haven't seen him in 28 years and didn't know who he was until I heard his story. There is no anger in my heart for him any longer, instead there is compassion and hope that both of us can stay sober. Today's meeting definitely won't be my last.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
MIBluebird--that's an amazing story. Good for you.
I think the epiphany I am currently holding on to is one I read on here recently which I know everyone else knows:
You are always either moving toward your next or away from your last drink.
It's never over. I'll always have to be vigilant. Hence my own post about mental space this morning...thanks Kjell.
I think the epiphany I am currently holding on to is one I read on here recently which I know everyone else knows:
You are always either moving toward your next or away from your last drink.
It's never over. I'll always have to be vigilant. Hence my own post about mental space this morning...thanks Kjell.
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by MIBluebird 
Kjell....good post for me today. I've been resisting AA meetings because I'm stubborn and I feel like I have worked hard at getting all of the other tools in place to stay sober. However, always on my mind is the fact that there is no one in my life who understands what I'm going through except the wonderful group here on SR. After spending a weekend around people that drink and feeling very alone in my new sober life, I decided at 10:30 am this morning to go to a Noon meeting. There were many lightbulb moments and I'm still in tears. One of the guys who spoke was my sister's ex-husband who hid his alcohol and drug abuse from her and did alot of damage to her life. I haven't seen him in 28 years and didn't know who he was until I heard his story. There is no anger in my heart for him any longer, instead there is compassion and hope that both of us can stay sober. Today's meeting definitely won't be my last.
It'll keep getting better and better too. If you work all 12 steps and take part in the fellowship - get ready for the ride of your life.
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
The only "lightbulb" moment i had was when i came in after a 6 week bender and knew i had to go to AA, get a sponsor and work the steps..like i knew they had a solution and that was the last chance...
Can't say i've had any lightbulb moments in sobriety thought its been natural progression and growth after doing the initial work...i certainly wouldn't want to go back and be sitting there like before when someone says something and i think wow thats it thats what is missing or what i have gotten wrong before and that person looking speechless when i tell them, e.g. pay your bills on time and go to work...wow i never thought of that, thats whats missing etc etc lol;-)
Can't say i've had any lightbulb moments in sobriety thought its been natural progression and growth after doing the initial work...i certainly wouldn't want to go back and be sitting there like before when someone says something and i think wow thats it thats what is missing or what i have gotten wrong before and that person looking speechless when i tell them, e.g. pay your bills on time and go to work...wow i never thought of that, thats whats missing etc etc lol;-)
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
My one and only "lightbulb" moment came in the emergency room on June 22, 2009. The previous 30 years of drinking led up to that one moment of clarity. Thankfully, nearly two years later, the light is still on!
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