An overview for new members
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ashland Oregon
Posts: 256
An overview for new members
Welcome! We're glad you're here!
It occurred to me that it might be a little confusing in the forum; some of the words and concepts we use are unfamiliar.
The trouble with living with and caring about someone whose drinking bothers us is that eventually, our own personas got disrupted. Many of us turned into people we didn't like. Our own recovery from that, into becoming people we like and admire, is what we talk about in here, mostly.
When I first started AlAnon, I wanted to learn how to communicate to my boyfriend the disastrous effects his drinking was having on our family. Everyone said 'gee, that's rough', but didn't offer any advice. I was so frustrated!!! Eventually, I learned that it isn't about my forcing my understanding on him, but understanding my own limits and boundaries, and learning to enforce them.
If you're here, we want to know what you're dealing with. Someone here has been where you are, trust me. Check out all the stickies, they really help. It's a lot of new information.
Here are some other things that may help you find your way around the forum:
Abbreviations:
AW / AH: alcoholic wife / husband
DS / DD: dear son / dear daughter (a number after this indicates age, not how many, that took me forever to figure out!)
DOC: drug of choice
Definitions:
codependent : someone who is "putting their own needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others" Here's a link to a WebMD article
quacking: verbal denial and blame, usually nonsense phrases. We have a huge thread devoted to it.
the 3 C's: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it.
I'm sure I've left a lot out, so please add to this! If you're new and have questions, please ask!
- Sylvie
It occurred to me that it might be a little confusing in the forum; some of the words and concepts we use are unfamiliar.
The trouble with living with and caring about someone whose drinking bothers us is that eventually, our own personas got disrupted. Many of us turned into people we didn't like. Our own recovery from that, into becoming people we like and admire, is what we talk about in here, mostly.
When I first started AlAnon, I wanted to learn how to communicate to my boyfriend the disastrous effects his drinking was having on our family. Everyone said 'gee, that's rough', but didn't offer any advice. I was so frustrated!!! Eventually, I learned that it isn't about my forcing my understanding on him, but understanding my own limits and boundaries, and learning to enforce them.
If you're here, we want to know what you're dealing with. Someone here has been where you are, trust me. Check out all the stickies, they really help. It's a lot of new information.
Here are some other things that may help you find your way around the forum:
Abbreviations:
AW / AH: alcoholic wife / husband
DS / DD: dear son / dear daughter (a number after this indicates age, not how many, that took me forever to figure out!)
DOC: drug of choice
Definitions:
codependent : someone who is "putting their own needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others" Here's a link to a WebMD article
quacking: verbal denial and blame, usually nonsense phrases. We have a huge thread devoted to it.
the 3 C's: you didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it.
I'm sure I've left a lot out, so please add to this! If you're new and have questions, please ask!
- Sylvie
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
RAH/RAW/RABF or GF - Recovering husband, wife, boyfriend/girlfriend
STBX - soon to be ex whatever
ESH - experience, strength, and hope
There are others that took me a while to decipher but I am forgetting now!
RAH/RAW/RABF or GF - Recovering husband, wife, boyfriend/girlfriend
STBX - soon to be ex whatever
ESH - experience, strength, and hope
There are others that took me a while to decipher but I am forgetting now!
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