Bittersweet Birthday
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Bittersweet Birthday
So I'm officially at 104 days sober today. I woke up pretty excited (as you may have seen my earlier post - even hit a 6:00am meeting that was really nice). Tonight at 8pm we celebrate birthdays and I get my 90 day chip.
I got home from my morning meeting feeling tired but good and my wife was (unbenknownst to me) going through severe withdrawals from adderol. I don't know much about it but it turned what was supposed to be a wonderful day into one of complete misery for everyone around her - she was an absolute monster! I was going to take the family on a train ride through the Cascade Mountains today but there was no way I could spend any amount of time near or around her. We went to the doctor and she got a refill on adderol and now that she feels better she can't understand why I'm feeling withdrawn, meloncholy, and depressed. This was as close as I came to going to a bar and ~maybe~ drink since I quit just to find a place to go. I know I should be more understanding but it's so hard taking all the put-downs and unfair fighting. When I was drinking I knew she could always pull that card (which she always did) on me and I just withdrew and took it, knowing I was drunk and didn't have a leg to stand on.
Anyway, maybe I should start doing both AA and Alanon (occasionally). I was never an "abusive" alcoholic - just a reclusive alcoholic.
Peace and support to all. I hope to report back in with my 90 chip and a better mood.
-SPG
I got home from my morning meeting feeling tired but good and my wife was (unbenknownst to me) going through severe withdrawals from adderol. I don't know much about it but it turned what was supposed to be a wonderful day into one of complete misery for everyone around her - she was an absolute monster! I was going to take the family on a train ride through the Cascade Mountains today but there was no way I could spend any amount of time near or around her. We went to the doctor and she got a refill on adderol and now that she feels better she can't understand why I'm feeling withdrawn, meloncholy, and depressed. This was as close as I came to going to a bar and ~maybe~ drink since I quit just to find a place to go. I know I should be more understanding but it's so hard taking all the put-downs and unfair fighting. When I was drinking I knew she could always pull that card (which she always did) on me and I just withdrew and took it, knowing I was drunk and didn't have a leg to stand on.
Anyway, maybe I should start doing both AA and Alanon (occasionally). I was never an "abusive" alcoholic - just a reclusive alcoholic.
Peace and support to all. I hope to report back in with my 90 chip and a better mood.
-SPG
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
That would be so hard to have your wife behaving so differently- especially when you did not know what was wrong. Glad she is feeling better. I hope you two are able to talk about what happened and resolve some of the hurt feelings.
Congrats on your 90 day chip!!!
Congrats on your 90 day chip!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Thanks for the support- I got my chip but had to leave the meeting early. I'm tired and didn't eat all day (I swallow my depression and anger) so I was light headed and short of breath. I'm in bed, safe, and grateful that I have no desire to drink right now.
-Peace and Serenity
SPG
-Peace and Serenity
SPG
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
We all have off days, I was the one today that ruined everything for me and my wife, she knows I am trying to stay sober but not sure she really understands, I still feel crappy, these type feelings come without notice and there hard to control, don’t be too hard on her, were all only human.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Thanks, SB - I know I'm the last person that should complain about it. I used to write to friends on Facebook when I needed to vent, but that just wasn't appropriate.
I know what withdrawal feels like! I only went through it once, I stayed drunk for 10 years straight. I just don't know how to recognize it on her since our lives are so intertwined. Her bitching has some credibility but the accusations are over the top. Even at 90 days I still have a hard time evaluating situations - "is it them are me with the problem."
I know what withdrawal feels like! I only went through it once, I stayed drunk for 10 years straight. I just don't know how to recognize it on her since our lives are so intertwined. Her bitching has some credibility but the accusations are over the top. Even at 90 days I still have a hard time evaluating situations - "is it them are me with the problem."
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: San Diego
Posts: 77
Sorry that what should have been a celebration for you turned into a disappointing day. I have a stupid question. Today is day eight for me, I am planning on going to a meeting this week, do they start counting my day one from my first meeting? I know it sounds ridiculous, but I want those days!! They have been hard.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Mubu - "they" don't count the days. You count the days.
I had my last drink on 2/13/2011. I count the 14th as my first day since that was my first day of sobriety. However you want to count it and you are being honest with yourself is how you should count it.
As far as chips go, there are some meetings that give a chip for first meeting or 24 hours.
IMHO it's actual sober/recovery time that really matters - and I can certainly appreciate wanting credit for every crappy day you've been through so far! If you've been sober for 8, then by all means TAKE IT! You earned every moment, my friend. Keep at it and feel free to PM me if you want to ask AA type questions since the forum is very mixed with pro/con AA approach.
-wishing you Peace and Serenity and smiling at the mirror for you.
I had my last drink on 2/13/2011. I count the 14th as my first day since that was my first day of sobriety. However you want to count it and you are being honest with yourself is how you should count it.
As far as chips go, there are some meetings that give a chip for first meeting or 24 hours.
IMHO it's actual sober/recovery time that really matters - and I can certainly appreciate wanting credit for every crappy day you've been through so far! If you've been sober for 8, then by all means TAKE IT! You earned every moment, my friend. Keep at it and feel free to PM me if you want to ask AA type questions since the forum is very mixed with pro/con AA approach.
-wishing you Peace and Serenity and smiling at the mirror for you.
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