BrokenChains

So I just started working at a new job. Which I've been in need of for a while.

And then, I got hired for a 2nd job.

And now my addiction is beginning to crop back up. Cravings, euphoric recall of what I used to perceive as 'happiness'.

And I don't want to mess everything up again.

However, I've never worked two jobs at the same time.

So, I feel overwhelmed because I don't know how to balance them. I'm not good at balance. But, I have to balance both to get my bills paid.

I've already came close to ending up on the street. So, these jobs are a necessity to me.

I just don't want to mess everything up, and I feel like that part of me is beginning to come back up.

laurie6781

I have to ask why you think the jobs are more important than your own recovery?

I don't know (and I apologize) if your recovery is your #1 priority. I have to ask what are you doing about the underlying reasons???

I have to tell you I was on the street up to my recovery. Our recovery MUST come first. The heck with two jobs, what program if any are you working???? Without recovery, 2, 3. or even 4 jobs won't count for a hill of beans.

For this alkie/addict recovery had to come first. And lo and behold, other things started to fall into place. A place to live, a job, a way to work with my creditors, and finally but most important of all, a way to LIVE sober with all of life's curve balls.

And yes, I messed up a lot in my first year of recovery. but the key was ........................... I was clean and sober.

I had to learn about my most IMPORTANT priorities. Not the Material, but the emotional and the spiritual.

Hope you can find your way.

Love and hugs,

ps: I took my addiction of alcoholism and drug abuse far enough that I lived the streets for 1 and 1/2 years prior to finding recovery. And I died in my first 24 hours of deciding I wanted to die sober rather than drunk and high.

Rusty Zipper

BC,

i couldn't agree more with L

my ex aint on the street, she's dead because her priorities were out of wack.

first things first

all good wishes BC

Latte

No amount of money will keep you clean and sober. I've tried that. I almost ended up dead (actually I did technically die-thank doG for those new defibrillators that the local PD now have in their cars).

Have you talked to your sponsor and friends in the program to pick their brain for ideas to manage your work/$$ issues. Roommates, eating Ramen for a month? etc.

Dee74

Hi BC

I'm sorry you're freaking out a bit.

I agree with everyone here - if you've tried, and you're sure it's just not groundless fear- if you think it's too much for you and it's got you thinking of drinking, maybe you need to reconsider whether you need the stress of two jobs.

If you do for economic reasons....

then I really recommend you throw yourself into a support network - AA SMART whatever - have real life face to face support to plug into, people to call etc.

Heck throw yourself into a support network anyway

I think this is one of those situations where if you haven't got time, you need to make time to work on your recovery BC.

D

ajangel

I too have to take 2 jobs to get my bills paid. However, one is a part time job. For me, the stress of not being able to pay my bills and the thought of being homeless is enough to make me want to stay drunk. I am putting my focus on my sobriety first. I get tired and a bit stressed some times, but I keep telling myself that is only going to be short term until I get caught up. Ive given myself a month timeline. I take it one day at a time. I feel you. Keep reminding yourself what got you into this situation in the first place. Hang in there. Hugs