desperategf

Hello, I am new here, and I hope and pray that I find some help
Oh my gosh reading these stories, this is my life. All addicts must be the same. My fiance is addicted to pain pills. He crushes and snorts them. His entire family are addicts of some sort. I feel I am fighting a loosing battle and ready to tell him to move out and end it all together. Although, he is my fiance and we have a baby together I try and stick it out. I just don't know what to do. I know begging, pleading, and crying doesn't work. Even ultimatums don't work. He says he has a problem but I really don't think he understands that he does. His dad speaks out of both sides of his mouth, it's the blind leading the blind. He preaches to his son not to snort pills WHILE HE HAS HIS HAND OUT giving them to him. I am so desperate and TIRED of this. I just need help and support. I am a strong person usually, but this has me knocked down and I can not beat it, and I am so frustrated. His one and only priority is pills. From the time he gets up in the morning until he goes to bed at night: PILLS, PILLS, PILLS.....He has gotten violent with me a lot. There are seldom calm discussions he always screams and hollers. His license is suspended because he didn't pay his insurance, he has no job, he has no ambition. I am a college student, working 3 jobs, trying to make ends meet and I am ready to just end our relationship, but I love him. I really do believe he is my soul mate but I can only take so much. I have trust issues, and father issues. This is a major issue and I just need help, and I don't know where to turn. I know he is weak. He is very weak, he can't stand up to all the addicts in his family and the drug has him. I mean I have never seen anything like this. When he doesn't have any it's pure HELL. He cries, screams, sweats, gets sick as a dog. Then as soon as he gets his fix he acts like nothing ever happened and I am supposed to forget what did happen. I ended up having an affair on him last summer, because obviously he was emotionally unavailable and selfish. Our sex life is affected because of the pill abuse. I think I am on the right path with this forum. I sure hope so. I just don't know where else to turn.
The people he hangs out with are trash. They don't work, live at home mooching off of their parents and they are almost 30 for pete's sake. He almost makes me sick, because I can know how good of a person he is, but he just doesn't care about anything but himself and his fix. The sad part is I feel guilty like I am doing something wrong. Like I can do something to get him to snap out of this. I fear he will never get clean because of his abusive addicted family. They all enable each other. OH please help.

laurie6781

Please read this thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...975-why-i.html

There is nothing you can do for him. There is a lot you can do for you and your child.

Please start by calling your local Domestic Violence Shelter as they have lots of help available to you in the way of counseling, living accommodations if needed, helping you get assistance of all kinds.

Also please find your local AlAnon and/or Naranon meetings, for YOU. You will get local face to face support there.

I am really concerned for your child growing up in this type of atmosphere, as children from tiny baby on are 'sponges' absorbing all types of information.

There will be others along to share their Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H) shortly.

Love and hugs,

hello-kitty

I hope you don't have a date set for the wedding! Just because you love him doesn't mean you should put up with that kind of treatment. Right now the most important thing in his world is drugs and you can't fix that. He's ill - self induced emotionally illness, and while I am sure you want desperately to save him from his addiction, it's impossible. The nature of addiction is that the more people try to help the addict, the worse the situation gets. The best thing to do is to focus on you and your child.

You didn't cause his addiction.
You can't control his addiction.
You can't cure his addiction.

You CAN save your baby and yourself from this lifestyle.

DontBurnThePig

You sound just like me. I'm sure a LOT of things you have said I've said verbatim before.

It's hard to let go when you love someone, I'll say that much.

You do have to maintain safety for yourself and your child, so if he becomes violent - call 911.