feelings in sobriety
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
feelings in sobriety
Happy Sober Sunday my good sobrarians. Another beautiful day (even though it was raining) of yet new feelings that need to be connected with sober. Every day there are new adventures and new challenges we face as coming out into the new world. I am convinced that just because I am in a now sobering life, there are still others in normal life who face challenges with feelings, as well. Just because we have been out of touch for so long doesn't mean 'normal people' are anymore in touch than we are. And maybe we are MORE in tuned to our spiritual feelings than anyone.
I think out of all the feelings we could safely say that resentment is the biggest challenge we face. Resenting past experiences, which in turn tarnish new experiences because we still hold on to the old baggage and don't even give them a fair chance. Also resentment of others and their wonderful lives with their wonderful families and we resent their seemingly happy little life. Why can't everyone be as miserable as me? How can they possibly live among the pink clouds and rainbows?
Well, take a step back...others may not be as happy as you think, the grass is not greener on the other side, unsober people hold resentment and negative feelings just the same as we do, as I have found out today.
I have come to the conclusion by losing the resentment that you hold stale in your heart, you are now empowering your own future with a new attitude on life. Let it all go and move beyond your comfort zone. Live within your feeling zone.
Today was High School graduation day for my daughter. It was a wonderful day sober and a wonderful feeling to know that somehow, despite my alcoholism, I have raised 4 wonderful happy children into this society. I am a proud mommy today and glad I have no more kids in school! YIPPEE.
If these seem like random thoughts...they are...but they're real! LOL
I think out of all the feelings we could safely say that resentment is the biggest challenge we face. Resenting past experiences, which in turn tarnish new experiences because we still hold on to the old baggage and don't even give them a fair chance. Also resentment of others and their wonderful lives with their wonderful families and we resent their seemingly happy little life. Why can't everyone be as miserable as me? How can they possibly live among the pink clouds and rainbows?
Well, take a step back...others may not be as happy as you think, the grass is not greener on the other side, unsober people hold resentment and negative feelings just the same as we do, as I have found out today.
I have come to the conclusion by losing the resentment that you hold stale in your heart, you are now empowering your own future with a new attitude on life. Let it all go and move beyond your comfort zone. Live within your feeling zone.
Today was High School graduation day for my daughter. It was a wonderful day sober and a wonderful feeling to know that somehow, despite my alcoholism, I have raised 4 wonderful happy children into this society. I am a proud mommy today and glad I have no more kids in school! YIPPEE.
If these seem like random thoughts...they are...but they're real! LOL
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I didn't think your thoughts were random at all - great post! I, for one, need to be reminded that we're not the only ones with feelings or problems. Everyone has them, not just "us."
My daughter had her high school graduation yesterday too (and she's also the baby). Can you imagine going to one of those with a hangover?!? It could have seemed a LOT longer, haha.
So glad our daughters have moms who can really be there for them now. Congratulations to both of you!:ghug3
My daughter had her high school graduation yesterday too (and she's also the baby). Can you imagine going to one of those with a hangover?!? It could have seemed a LOT longer, haha.
So glad our daughters have moms who can really be there for them now. Congratulations to both of you!:ghug3
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Join Date: Aug 2003
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EmeraldRose,
When I first began recovery, I felt like I was only one struggling through life. Everyone around me looked so together. But, before long I began to see that every single person had a 'story' and that we are all doing the best we can to get through each day.
Congratulations to your daughter, the Graduate!
When I first began recovery, I felt like I was only one struggling through life. Everyone around me looked so together. But, before long I began to see that every single person had a 'story' and that we are all doing the best we can to get through each day.
Congratulations to your daughter, the Graduate!
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Thanks all....sometimes my head gets away from me! LOL
Congratulations to your daughter, as well, artsoul.
Thanx Bikeguy, you're awesome, too.
On one of the cards my daughter got was hand written to be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting some kind of battle. That is a common statement but oh, so true. Everyone has 'issues' that may be a difficult struggle and it is sad that some (most) can not get past certain feelings (usually some form of resentment) and move on.
What I am refering to is my (almost) ex. Technically, he is not my daughters father but adopted my kids. Although I thought it noble and a unselfish gesture that he felt the need to adopt them, he was not able to attend her graduation or party because of 'issues' I assume have been eating at him since we separated.
When my daughter 'announced' to me that she had invited him to the party... I took a deep breath and a long time to get my psyche in the right place of where I could maturely, adultly, amicabley, unresentfully and unshamelessly have him in my home. As my daughter stated it's just one day!
I got to that place and thought it was a great exercise to where I could deal with these feelings I held. I was somewhat saddened that he felt it in his heart that he needed to miss her graduation and party because of his 'issues'. I am feeling strong for my silent accomplishment.
Boy, its an ongoing struggle....LOL
Congratulations to your daughter, as well, artsoul.
Thanx Bikeguy, you're awesome, too.
On one of the cards my daughter got was hand written to be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting some kind of battle. That is a common statement but oh, so true. Everyone has 'issues' that may be a difficult struggle and it is sad that some (most) can not get past certain feelings (usually some form of resentment) and move on.
What I am refering to is my (almost) ex. Technically, he is not my daughters father but adopted my kids. Although I thought it noble and a unselfish gesture that he felt the need to adopt them, he was not able to attend her graduation or party because of 'issues' I assume have been eating at him since we separated.
When my daughter 'announced' to me that she had invited him to the party... I took a deep breath and a long time to get my psyche in the right place of where I could maturely, adultly, amicabley, unresentfully and unshamelessly have him in my home. As my daughter stated it's just one day!
I got to that place and thought it was a great exercise to where I could deal with these feelings I held. I was somewhat saddened that he felt it in his heart that he needed to miss her graduation and party because of his 'issues'. I am feeling strong for my silent accomplishment.
Boy, its an ongoing struggle....LOL
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 14
Im almost three months into sobriety and im experiencing happiness for the first time in my life. I was thrown into sobriety due to a herion accident I'll say which has left me with a numb foot and nerve damage in the arm but instead of being depressed like I thoughtni would be, I am so happy and proud of myself.
Congratulations to you and your daughter. You have many more sober days ahead
Congratulations to you and your daughter. You have many more sober days ahead
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 94
Thanks for your post, EmeraldRose.... I'm a newbie here and 3 weeks sober but your thoughts on resentment and other feelings surfacing are very true for me in these very early days of recovery.
Most days I'm happy just to be sober and entering a new positive chapter of my life, but there are always resentments. Why couldn't things have worked out differently? And I had to smile about your comment about perfectly happy people and their happy families! I feel like such a bitter soul at times but at the heart of it is this belief that all my past actions have created this solitary life I have - I've many blessings....wonderful friends and loving parents and siblings, but no life partner or children of my own (yet, anyway).
But then I slap myself and recognise that while my drinking and underlying beliefs may have something to do with this, the bigger picture is there's plenty of single mid-thirties women out there, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, and there isn't anything fundamentally wrong with them.
As you say, the grass is always greener. Very glad I found this site
Most days I'm happy just to be sober and entering a new positive chapter of my life, but there are always resentments. Why couldn't things have worked out differently? And I had to smile about your comment about perfectly happy people and their happy families! I feel like such a bitter soul at times but at the heart of it is this belief that all my past actions have created this solitary life I have - I've many blessings....wonderful friends and loving parents and siblings, but no life partner or children of my own (yet, anyway).
But then I slap myself and recognise that while my drinking and underlying beliefs may have something to do with this, the bigger picture is there's plenty of single mid-thirties women out there, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, and there isn't anything fundamentally wrong with them.
As you say, the grass is always greener. Very glad I found this site
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