I need help with my drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1
I need help with my drinking
Hi,
I'm 26 years old and have been drinking heavily since I was about 16. I get drunk to the point where I don't remember the night about twice a week, and then I waste my weekends by laying in bed feeling like crap.
I want to cut down on my drinking, but I feel that if I stop drinking my social life would stop too - because every time I go out and socialise with my friends it's always while drinking.
I don't have a girlfriend and feel that if I don't go out partying and drinking I wont meet a girl.
So, I am hoping someone could help me and offer advice on how I can cut back drinking, without loosing my social life? How have others done it?
Thanks.
I'm 26 years old and have been drinking heavily since I was about 16. I get drunk to the point where I don't remember the night about twice a week, and then I waste my weekends by laying in bed feeling like crap.
I want to cut down on my drinking, but I feel that if I stop drinking my social life would stop too - because every time I go out and socialise with my friends it's always while drinking.
I don't have a girlfriend and feel that if I don't go out partying and drinking I wont meet a girl.
So, I am hoping someone could help me and offer advice on how I can cut back drinking, without loosing my social life? How have others done it?
Thanks.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, ben! It's not easy to admit we have a problem with drinking - so good for you for coming here and talking about it!
I was really scared to think about life without alcohol, but it turned out to be the best thing I ever did. I didn't have blackouts or DUI's, but I spent lots of mornings wondering if I could get through the day. It's amazing how much we're willing to suffer to get a couple hours' buzz.
I tried to control my drinking, but realize now I was never satisfied with just a couple drinks. Once I had that first one, I always wanted more.
Glad you're here - you'll find lots of information and support on this forum.:ghug3
I was really scared to think about life without alcohol, but it turned out to be the best thing I ever did. I didn't have blackouts or DUI's, but I spent lots of mornings wondering if I could get through the day. It's amazing how much we're willing to suffer to get a couple hours' buzz.
I tried to control my drinking, but realize now I was never satisfied with just a couple drinks. Once I had that first one, I always wanted more.
Glad you're here - you'll find lots of information and support on this forum.:ghug3
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 46
I hate to break it to you but social interactions and friendships based around alcohol are meaningless and shallow. I'm 28 and I very much understand where you are coming from. Meeting a woman and chatting with drunk acquaintances is also my motivational drive to go to bars as well.
Alcohol should be an occasional side-dish with friends that share common interests. Alcohol should NOT be the glue in any friendship or relationship. When I went to college, I had a bunch of drinking buddies. When we were sober, we had absolutely nothing in common and it was awkward. I don't talk to any of those former college drinking buddies today. When I used to drink much less in my early 20's, all of my friends were like-minded artists like myself. Sadly, I fell out with all of my old artist friends and I no longer hang out with them anymore. This along with college has accounted for my increased drinking in recent years.
Alcohol gives you a fake social life. Anyone can go to a bar and get drunk and have shallow conversations with strangers or drink with other heavy drinkers in your neighborhood. However, I found out the hard way that having drinking acquaintances can be quite dangerous. Someone who you couldn't stand to be around let alone talk to sober is more likely to be willing to hurt you. Drinking buddies are NOT your true friends. I have been beaten senseless by drinking buddies before for no reason other than "they were drunk".
What you need to do is develop some hobbies. I am an artist but I have been slacking on my art and design work recently. Get interested in something positive and constructive. Other people are bound to have these similar interests and there are dozens of events held in most metro areas in the country for such people where you can meet new friends who are three dimensional people who you can enjoy being around without being completely gone off liquor. I can't tell you what you are interested in. Some people play live instrumental music in bands together, some people join book clubs, some people get involved in church etc. You are more likely to meet a woman doing something positive like volunteer work rather than over-drinking at the same bars with the same people every weekend. Every bar is the same. Every bar is like Moe's from the Simpsons with the same people listening to the same music talking about nothing every week. You're not missing out on anything.
Alcohol should be an occasional side-dish with friends that share common interests. Alcohol should NOT be the glue in any friendship or relationship. When I went to college, I had a bunch of drinking buddies. When we were sober, we had absolutely nothing in common and it was awkward. I don't talk to any of those former college drinking buddies today. When I used to drink much less in my early 20's, all of my friends were like-minded artists like myself. Sadly, I fell out with all of my old artist friends and I no longer hang out with them anymore. This along with college has accounted for my increased drinking in recent years.
Alcohol gives you a fake social life. Anyone can go to a bar and get drunk and have shallow conversations with strangers or drink with other heavy drinkers in your neighborhood. However, I found out the hard way that having drinking acquaintances can be quite dangerous. Someone who you couldn't stand to be around let alone talk to sober is more likely to be willing to hurt you. Drinking buddies are NOT your true friends. I have been beaten senseless by drinking buddies before for no reason other than "they were drunk".
What you need to do is develop some hobbies. I am an artist but I have been slacking on my art and design work recently. Get interested in something positive and constructive. Other people are bound to have these similar interests and there are dozens of events held in most metro areas in the country for such people where you can meet new friends who are three dimensional people who you can enjoy being around without being completely gone off liquor. I can't tell you what you are interested in. Some people play live instrumental music in bands together, some people join book clubs, some people get involved in church etc. You are more likely to meet a woman doing something positive like volunteer work rather than over-drinking at the same bars with the same people every weekend. Every bar is the same. Every bar is like Moe's from the Simpsons with the same people listening to the same music talking about nothing every week. You're not missing out on anything.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
Welcome to SR.
I hate to tell you this but SR is not the best place to get advice on 'cutting down' on your drinking. Most, if not all of us here, have tried over and over to 'cut down' but failed. This is a recovery site so few of us are interested in drinking less, we chose to be completely sober after failing at moderating our drinking.
If you don't have a serious problem with drinking it may not be too hard for you to cut down. On the other hand, if you're alcoholic it will be damn near impossible to 'cut down'. I find it easier to not drink at all rather than have just one or two.
I hate to tell you this but SR is not the best place to get advice on 'cutting down' on your drinking. Most, if not all of us here, have tried over and over to 'cut down' but failed. This is a recovery site so few of us are interested in drinking less, we chose to be completely sober after failing at moderating our drinking.If you don't have a serious problem with drinking it may not be too hard for you to cut down. On the other hand, if you're alcoholic it will be damn near impossible to 'cut down'. I find it easier to not drink at all rather than have just one or two.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Welcome Ben
I was exactly in your position at 26.
I didn't stop drinking until I was 40 - still looking for that way to 'cut back' and 'drink normally'...I never found it.
The funny thing is my friends all eventually moved on from the party stage - but I kept drinking...I ended up with a lot of drinking buddies but very few friends.
And any girls I ever met I didn't meet in pubs or clubs - cos I was always too smashed....
Something to think about, anyway...
D
I was exactly in your position at 26.
I didn't stop drinking until I was 40 - still looking for that way to 'cut back' and 'drink normally'...I never found it.
The funny thing is my friends all eventually moved on from the party stage - but I kept drinking...I ended up with a lot of drinking buddies but very few friends.
And any girls I ever met I didn't meet in pubs or clubs - cos I was always too smashed....
Something to think about, anyway...
D
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