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Friends talking about drinking on Facebook and Twitter

Old 05-21-2011, 06:20 PM
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Friends talking about drinking on Facebook and Twitter

Granted this is only my second Sober Saturday but now that I'm staying home and battling my own cravings I'm realizing that checking my Facebook and Twitter accounts is almost as bad as being at the bar. I've never noticed before how many people enjoy posting about their booze-based shenanigans. And it's driving me crazy.

Maybe I need to put down my iPhone and pick up a book or something.

For all you AA folks and those well-read in addiction treatment, is there anything in the literature or collective wisdom about this?
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:27 PM
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Maybe I need to put down my iPhone and pick up a book or something.

Good idea. Maybe hit a meeting tonight? It's our responsibility to change our habits when we decide to live a sober life. Maybe stay away from facebook for a while, or at least stay away from the drinking friends and convos?
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:44 PM
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From the Big Book page 181 Doctor Bob's Nightmare:
Unlike most of our crowd, I did not get over my craving for liquor much during the first two and on-half years of abstinence. It was almost always with me. But at no time have I been anywhere near yielding. I used to get terribly upset when I saw my friends drink and knew I could not, but I schooled myself to believe that though I once had the same privilege, I had abused it so frightfully that is was withdrawn. So It doesn't behoove me to squawk about it for, after all, nobody ever had to throw me down and pur liquor down my throat."
In some ways it doesn't sound very sympathetic, but it explains how many of us have often felt. On those rare occasions now that I get hard cravings, I make some really strong peppermint tea and dig into the big book and this forum. It often wasn't as fun "out there" as we tend to remember in early recovery. I also managed to make it to 8 meetings this week and didn't realize it until today. I'm married, have a full+ time job, kids, etc. but I still spent less time in meetings than I did at the bars when I was drinking.

Hang in there. You can download a free copy of the big book online. I think it's at Alcoholics Anonymous :.

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Old 05-21-2011, 06:52 PM
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I know that it takes a lot of changes in lifestyle to stay sober.

Stay away from anything that bothers you!
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:53 PM
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By the way - my first couple of months sober I kept getting wall posts the bar employees telling me to get in there and pay my $18 tab. I will admit, there were very few times I really needed to be reminded of that.

Complete honesty with those that I have seen or talked to from my drinking life has granted me respect by many, scorn by some. It is what it is. I'm grateful for my sobriety.
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I know that it takes a lot of changes in lifestyle to stay sober.

Stay away from anything that bothers you!
I told my sponsor last night - "I don't play pool and I don't play darts. I can't imagine a reason good enough to find myself in a bar."
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Old 05-21-2011, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by BeenDown2Times View Post
Granted this is only my second Sober Saturday but now that I'm staying home and battling my own cravings I'm realizing that checking my Facebook and Twitter accounts is almost as bad as being at the bar. I've never noticed before how many people enjoy posting about their booze-based shenanigans. And it's driving me crazy.

Maybe I need to put down my iPhone and pick up a book or something.

For all you AA folks and those well-read in addiction treatment, is there anything in the literature or collective wisdom about this?
Not much of a Tweeeter, but I have unconsciously cut way back on Facebook in the last 7 months due to this. Most of my friends aren't necessarily posting about getting drunk or anything, but they are posting about where they are going or have been to have a good time which involves alcohol. At this point in recovery, that's just too tempting for me.
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Old 05-21-2011, 07:50 PM
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I still have this, too. In fact, because of the projected end of the world this evening (ha ha, Camping, I'm still here!) there are more posts about drinking than usual. I think every one out of three people on my Facebook are knocking it back tonight and crowing about it, even posting pictures and going into detail about what drink it is, etc etc (most of them are Moms in their 30's - 50's so I guess it makes no difference how old you are).

Luckily all I see in it is people need an excuse to drink - stupid, rubbish reasons.

I don't need to make excuses any more.

Yup, I'd suggest tuning out from FB/Twitter and go do something else instead. I find most Friday and Saturday nights on such sites are quite annoying for me, simply because I don't want to read about my friend's indulgences - although I do like a good smug smirk the next morning about the photo's (especially the ones at the end of the night).

How about a good movie, or something that doesn't involve people?
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Old 05-21-2011, 08:07 PM
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Yes, if it bothers you input a bit...especially if you dont need to be on it for work. Once you get more comfortable with sobriety you can start learning how to deal.

It doesn't bother me because I don't want to drink...it only bothers me when my artist friend whose work I love almost always features alcohol...because I'm not buying a boost painting
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Old 05-21-2011, 08:13 PM
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The book DRINKING: A LOVE STORY is amazing... Wow! Ever read it? (Sadly the author Caroline Knapp died in her 40's -- and likely a result of her smoking and drinking more than breathing.) Her life is not forgotten. The book is on millions of bookshelves around the world and a mega contribution to sobriety.

I'm now reading Nan Robertson's memoir of her own battles with alcohol.

Let me know what you think if you read either....
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Old 05-21-2011, 09:57 PM
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I've always found the picture people post on facebook, and plenty of what they write, mortifying. I think you should be proud of yourself for not being there with them, though I know it can be hard. Backing off of it sounds like a good idea. But whenever anyone posts a dumb drunk photo, be proud of yourself for the photo not being you!
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:03 PM
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I'd avoid those media on a Saturday night for the same reason I'd avoid a bar.

Get a Netflix account or go on Hulu and find some movies to watch. Those sites were a big help early on for me.
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:05 PM
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I struggled with this too at the start, and still have to an extent. But now I like to think of myself as just more of a grown up than the girl that cries out for her ex boyfriend via a drunk facebook status update at 2am. Or the guy that posts about how he was up wondering if burger kind is open at 4 am.

You really just have to put yourself above that, and look down on it. That's what I've done, and like I said I'm for the most part over it.
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Old 05-22-2011, 03:50 AM
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Thanks everyone this really helps.
I like the plan of laying off the social networks on sober saturdays and then having a chuckle Sunday morning when I wake up early and happy and they're hungover and embarrassed the night before.

Here I sit doing just that at 630am on a Sunday morning.

Mwahahaha! (that's supposed to a a villainous laugh).
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Old 05-22-2011, 05:33 AM
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I used to get jealous of my friends' statuses of partying, until I started reading the inane things they would post while drunk, or the next day about their hangovers and such. It doesn't bother me at all any longer. In fact, it usually strengthens my sobriety.
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Old 05-22-2011, 05:37 AM
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thanks for illuminating yet another advantage of sobriety:

Reduced chance of rendering oneself unemployable by posting stupid **** to a social networking site.
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Old 05-22-2011, 05:40 AM
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I haven't had to deal with the impact of social media and recovery but I could imagine that would be tough. Not really too common for a bunch of my tweeps to say "hey, were popping pills at this place tonight"...

I could see where drinking would be different though. All I can say that I would bet your follow lists change significantly as your new path matures. People will come and go and eventually you will probably be responding to posts about going to meetings and other good stuff. The ones about bars and booze will probably fade away.
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:50 AM
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Welcome to SR. The longer you are sober, the easier it is to just be glad you are no longer part of their madness. Stck close to SR.
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Old 05-22-2011, 09:55 AM
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There are a few of my friends on facebook who haven't changed in over 20 years....drinking is still a priority..and that's their meaning of fun...it actually makes me sad...I don't judge them, but I am just grateful that I have evolved......
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Old 05-22-2011, 10:05 AM
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I try not to judge my friends so much about it. Many of them are pretty responsible with it and still fun to hang out with. I just wish I was able to moderate like them, but for me it's drink until I blackout or nothing...

But yeah if it bothers you to even be on those social networks, def don't sign in. You gotta focus on yourself at this time, good luck!
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