Time4Me1

The past 8 months have been difficult. I broke up with my ex abf back in August because I learned that he was using again. In September he robbed a bank and disappeared for over a month. He was found in a crack house and sent to jail. He some how got off on the robbery and moved in with his parents, got a great job with a company truck, phone, etc. He was working a program and rebuilding his relationships. He wanted to have a friendship with me and made it known that he had hopes of getting back together some day. He contacted me all the time telling me of his love for me and how he was progressing in recovery. I have always had a hard time detaching from him and didn't want to hurt him...so I kept the door open for communication. I did finally tell him that there was no way we would ever be able to have a relationship again, but that I will always love him. He has been missing since last Friday!!!!!!!!! I am once again very sad that he is using again and just know that he will end up in jail at best case scenario. I just want to say that even though I know I should have ended communication with him a long time ago...I have become stronger! I no longer feel the horrible despair that I felt the first few times. I have gone on with my life as much as I can. although I am sad I can honestly say that I am so much better off emotionally! I attribute a lot of my strength gained from coming here and learning from all of you! I also want to say to those of you who are hanging on to addicts........be very, very careful....they are very manipulative, cunning and need for you to believe in them. They are one heartbeat away from relapse ant any given moment. Detaching is harder than hard...but the only way to keep yourself healthy and safe. It does get easier if you just stay strong in your resolve to save your self! I obviously have a long way to go to be completely over him and move on completely with my life but I am definitely realizing the progress I have made!! Thanks everyone!!

Ann

I'm glad you are stronger this time, and I know you know that his relapse belongs entirely to him. We simply don't have the power to make the use or get them clean.

I'm sorry he relapsed, but perhaps you feel less overwhelmed by it all because it validates your choice to keep a safe distance while you watch his actions.

SR helped me way back when I first stumbled in here over 9 years ago, and I have to say that everyday I still learn something here. It's a wonderful place to share our recovery. Thank you for sharing yours.

Hugs

dollydo

What you have written is so true. Relapse is always around the corner, there is just no way to know if and when it will happen.

I strugged, I so wanted to believe that he said what he mean't and mean't what he said. It was not the case, relapse after relapse and I was done, I could not go one step further.

Looking back now, I wonder why it was so difficult for me to let go, it was all there, right in front of me. I guess I couldn't or wouldn't see the forest through the trees.

Thank you for the post!

Nina Kay

You were so smart to protect yourself & I'm glad that you were able to carry it through, especially with this end result. I am so sorry that he did relapse though. That is very sad.