Nina Kay

I do accept that I cannot control my son's drinking or drugging. My problem is with trying to control other people's behavior. I'm not sure why I try to do that alot of times. I can't even seem to control my own behavior. I am really struggling with this area of my life. I feel like me & my family are dysfunctional & it just keeps getting worse. I feel so defeated for a very long time now, so I decided to try & work the steps to see if it would help me at all.

bmbshl

Nina - I'm a newcomer here so I don't have seasoned advice to give. I can speak from my personal experience in that going to Al-Anon has opened my eyes greatly. I've been living with my AH who is in recovery nearly four years. I wish I had gone to Al-Anon when he started AA. Me seeing his serenity, I thought it would always be there. Now that has slipped out of his view, I am struggling to deal with him. After today's meeting, I now have hope that I didn't feel yesterday, last week, or last month. He has his tools and tool box to use. I'm getting mine. I hope my experience helps you.

chicory

HI Nina Kay.
I too have an alcoholic son. I cannot control him either. Nor should I. I am just learning that part. that I should not control anyone. that they have the right to live as they wish. it hurts. but i too am beginning to work the steps. my family is codependent, and we are getting worse, and my son is not helping matters. so, i figure i have to do whatever I can, to be more healthy, so my relationships with my children are better.

just got the book, How Al-anon works, and it is good. it is pretty cheap on amazon. got mine for 4.99 shipping included.
I wish you the best. and pray for our children.

hugs
chicory

Veeee

How do you know when you've completed Step 1?

PWisdom

Just got on this forum and I already learned something-I am not going to change my daughter's behavior no matter what, nor am I in charge of trying to change her behavior. She is the only one who can do that. I will keep researching and reading.