mooselips

Hi everyone,
Oldest AS, (the NC one.... ha ha) stopped in today with his "new" GF.
(not too new, she came over at Xmas)

Anyway, I was so proud of myself today...I TALKED less, and LISTENED more.

He was kind of moaning about his dad starting to liquidate some of his "collectable" stuff (guns, an a classic car), and I replied, "In this life, everyone gets to make their own life choices, and your dad made his."

I deserve a gold star for a change.
No steel toed bunny slippers for me...today.

P.S. Here's another great thing.he's sober.
NOT attending any meetings, (I DIDN'T ask..but I know if he was, he would comment on how wonderful they are)

But, I do believe he is sober.
AND he looks good. Clear eyed, clean, shaven, and for today non argumentative.

Nina Kay

That is wonderful. And I'm very impressed with how you handled the visit. I know that it made you feel so relieved at how well he's doing. I'm very happy for you. Your recovery was really showing.

Ann

You always were the Queen of Jujubes, Moose, packing 'em in to keep your mouth too busy to respond coherently

Well done! I could learn from this in most areas of my life.

And...I am tickled that he seems to be doing okay. We can never give up hope, just the futility of trying to make it happen.

Hugs and Love from the north

Habit

That is great news.

"Talked less and listened more" is a tough one. Good for you!!!

I am happy that the visit went well!

Hugs.

cece1960

Thats great news Moosie.

I'm a firm believer in forging a relationship with our kids on whatever terms makes sense for us.

I believe my AS is clean these days too, but I don't KNOW that and don't care to investigate further. We have little contact, and get along better as a result. He deserves to fix his life in whatever manner he sees as fit.

I will try your style...talking less and listening more to help support this new reality.

thequest

Good news to see your son is sober !

The part about selling your sons stuff and him grumbling hits says alot. Our problem one/alkie/druggee is constantly complaining about someone else loosing his stuff. If his stuff is in the way we put it with his other stuff. He complains we shouldn't be touching his stuff. He blames others for loosing his stuff among other things all the time.

Your son should be gratefull that his dad hung on to it as long as he did.

Hope all things stay postive and progress.

Impurrfect

(((Moose))) - well done!! I believe I will have to put a sign over my desk to remind ME to "talk less, listen more" as that seems to be a good thing to do in many situations, not just when addiction is an issue.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

Kindeyes

Well DONE!!! That's so wonderful. When the exchanges can be short and civil, that's awesome!

gentle hugs
ke

mooselips

Quest,
Maybe I worte that wrong.
The "stuff" belongs to Mr. Moose, his car, his gun collection. And now that he's "old" (don't tell him I said that) he's cashing it in.

He bought a kayak...

We have nothing that belongs to either of our As's.

Hugs and hugs.......

Habit

I think the kayak is a great idea. Good for Mr. Moose!

We still have a lot of our AD's "stuff" in our basement. I never go down there. So, "out of sight...out of mind".

chicory

by ann


I would really love to use this as a quote below my signature. it that ok ann?

Mooselips- happy that it went so well for you, and that your son looks sober and well

hugs
chicory

Serenity Bound

Moose, Kudo's to you. You did awesome. I really like "talked less, listened more" IMHO I need to learn the art of truly listening, you know listen with open mind, not with MY responses already formulated. Thank you for the reminder.

Hugs,
Chris

mooselips

I think it is SO much better when we can just give it up, and let them get on with their lives. What is..is.

I think I'm feeling like he's more of a "friend" than a son.
And I have my boundaries about what friends I choose to talk with, or be with.
No judgement calls, no feelings of animosity.

The hard part is getting to that point...