Aurora80

I have made my own program of recovery, which is a combination of AA (including the 12 steps), SMART, and Rational Recovery.

I've had to modify what steps 1 and 2 mean to me... I don't believe I am powerless over alcohol in the sense I used to. For me 'powerlessness' basically just means I can't and won't drink alcohol because I'm addicted to it, but I don't believe I'm powerless to quit drinking. Believing that was very enabling for me... I would drink and use my 'powerlessness' as an excuse, and it kept me from taking responsibility for my own recovery.

I DO have a choice whether I drink or not.

As for step 2, I don't believe God is going to come down from heaven and do this for me. I do believe that God has given me free will, and the strength to choose not to drink and stick with that decision. I believe God will aid me, but I don't believe he'll do it for me.

I do have a strong belief and God and want to change (in more ways than just quitting drinking) and I really like the 12 steps as far as that goes.

I'm also recognizing my Addictive Voice, which I learned from Rational Recovery. This has been immensely helpful to me!

Feeling really good about my modified program

keithj

So, what exactly does that sentence mean to you? For context, it's in a part of the BB deals with the mental obsession of alcoholism. It deals with why, when absolutely stone cold sober, the alcoholic will pick up that first drink, over and over. Jim's story, Fred's story, and the jaywalker analogy in the next chapter.


The whole point of AA is a solution to that mental obsession problem.

GettingStronger2

Keith, I agree. At some point, i lost my ability to choose whether or not i drink. And i cannot forget that, or my story will be added to Jim's, Fred's and the jaywalker's, and many more who lost that connection to step one.

Dee74

If I can bring the topic back to the OP....

It's good to see you again and sounding so positive, Aurora

It was important to me to use whatever worked for me...the more support I had the better I felt about this journey...

I'm glad you've found something that working for you

D

cabledude

Good for you. Know anyone it's worked well for?

Anna

Aurora,

I'm glad you're working on a program that is going well for you.

And, I hope you keep coming back to SR because I always find lots of inspiration and support here.

Zencat

WTG Aurora!

I know I tried to fit into a recovery program that made little sense to me. So when I worked the program, I got nonsense as a result. A painful lesson to learn. But after all, learning not to make the same mistakes over and over is what caused me so many problems to begin with.

Today life is about learning new ways to think and act. In the past, with my head up my rump, blaming everything and anybody for my behavior, was not about learning. It was an easy cop-out to act ignorant like a clueless fool with BS explanations for my drunken behavior. Cant afford to do that today. Actions have consequences along with explanations for my behavior...that is being truthful.

michelle01

I'm not really qualified to talk about AA, but I think people can have some misconceptions about 'powerlessness'. Yes, that is the first step. But then it moves on from there, I've heard people talk about the program as actually one of empowerment and taking responsibility. 'Powerlessness' can have positive or negative connotations I think, depending on how you view it. I think it's true, people can use it as an excuse for drinking, which is why it's important to keep moving on with the steps.

I do believe that God can work miracles, but more often than not he gives us a shovel. We have the tools, it's up to us what to do with them. He can give assistance but we do have free will, recovery cannot be forced on us. If we had no free will, the process of growth and learning would halt.

I think it's fine to use more than one program or recovery method. I don't know about allowing different treatments to cross over, that seemed to me like it could get messy. But at one point I had both AA and professional CBT counseling together, I decided to leave what I discussed in each place. Hope it goes well for you.

Aurora80

Yep. ME!

jamdls

Good for you Aurora! I like your term "hybrid recovery program" I made up my own program as well using my own modified version of the 12 steps, self study of religious and secular recovery materials and no meetings, and it's worked for me for nearly 4 yrs.

artsoul

Thanks for the post! I really like the fact that you've looked into all the approaches to recovery and are using what's most helpful to you. To me, that shows how serious you are about your sobriety. So, I give it a thumbs up!

Aurora80

Thanks artsoul! I really am serious about my sobriety

Eddiebuckle

I think there are people in AA who will resist any notion of a "hybrid" program, for fear that others trying to recover will use it as an excuse to cut corners and avoid the introspection and honesty necessary to recover, regardless of ones program.

Personally, I did not fully understand powerlessness but understood well enough at the start to continue. I choked on the third step, because I really hadn't come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I was so tied up in religious connotations and my own personal beliefs about religion/god that I missed the second half of the second step. For me, it came down to being able to invest myself without reservation to the FACT that I could get and stay sober, joyous, and free of all alcohol had brought into my life. I didn't have to figure out every detail of my higher power, but I sure as hell had to believe.

I can get my back up at times when others challenge how I see and work my recovery. What matters at the end of the day is how well you are progressing towards the promises. This is about the journey, not the shoes we are wearing to make it.

SwanSong

Good for you Aurora80! I'm in AA myself, but I think it's great you've found something that works for you..

FNB3

A couple things immediately came to mind...

Any recovery that works for you is good.

My first reactions about recovery programs, or anything for that matter, were negative and I tried to find holes in them.

Being a part of a group was always a challenge for me. I valued being unique more than health and thought I was "special"....arrogant

I always wanted to reinvent the wheel.

Someone in this thread mentioned that they weren't ever comfortable in certain programs and I can relate, however that probably the right program for most...since the illness is in our thinking..

cabledude

Aurora no one can really argue against success. Good that this is working well for you. Sober is better than drunk, no contest. I once discovered that doing needlepoint projects kept me sober for almost 4 months, one of my more successful past efforts before finding a solution.