oln

Hi, today i feel so cross. My ex abf of 15 years left just over a year ago, we have two children 6 and 8 years old. For the last month it has been constant threats of court either for money of which my solicitor has said hes not entitled or for unsupervised access of the kids and if i disagree to either he proceeds to tell the kids he wont be seeing them until after hes gone to court. Since he regularly drinks and drives as far as i see, i dont feel happy for him to have the kids on his own, anyway having tried to explain this without annoying him the other night and agreeing court would be the best answer after he told me supeervised access was no longer possible as he has a new gf(she lives 250 miles away), it was followed by yet more personal abuse written on the internet for all to see. I am just wondering if the abuse ever stops with an alcoholic as when hes drunk everything wrong in his life is always my fault or am i able to stop it if i go about it in the right way? Many thanks x

Hollyanne

The court will be on your side.
Meanwhile, encourage the new relationship and hopefully he will move 250 miles away.
Horrible piggy behaviour. Sorry, you have to deal with this. Sometimes it is hard to be the grownup.

JCashfan

for what its worth, your kids will thank you. My son is 22 now, and he remembers stuff from his dad, he now says to me, why mum did you stay with him. I know my second husband is an alchohlic too, but he is so good with my son. Id say keep all evidence he or his new g/f write, and I mean keep the internet stuff etc, anything you can, and go to court with confidence. Leah

Thumper

The abusive stuff stopped when my xah entered treatment. He's had a few short relapses and went back to the treatment center and stays sober as long as he's there.

He left the area right before Thanksgiving and while that has caused a lot of heartache for my boys, it also removed a lot of it. When he was here he was drinking and very flaky, unpredictable, depressed and not easy to be around, inconsistent, and undependable. It was hard on them and sucked for me. It hurts to have an alcoholic father. They are basically abandoned no matter how close or far the father is and at least when he is far away he isn't mucking up their days on a regular basis.

So I agree with Hollyanne - hopefully he'll move away.