am i an alcoholic?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 11
am i an alcoholic?
okay, so I can admit I am a drug addict and powerless over my drugs of choice weed, mdma, ketamine, benzos and coke. I bottomed out on them, I went to rehab for 3 months turned my life around. I was sober for 9 months, relapsed I only drank once and used drugs rest of the time. I then got sober again for 3 months and I drank on friday. I had 12 shots which I know isn't "normal" for a high school kid but I did it anyways. I don't have cravings really, I've been sober since. I had times before that I felt out of control with alcohol but I feel like I can control it now... I was never a daily drinker always a binge drinker and daily user of drugs. I'm so confused. Is it possible to be a drug addict and not an alcoholic or am I just playing with fire and justifying going into a full blown relapse?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 11
yes I'm 17 in high school.
I'm also living in a sober house...
I drank on friday and there was no consequences
I haven't bottomed out on alcohol and part of me wants to, to prove that I'm an alcoholic and another part of me doesn't because I already know I am and where I will end up.
I'm also living in a sober house...
I drank on friday and there was no consequences
I haven't bottomed out on alcohol and part of me wants to, to prove that I'm an alcoholic and another part of me doesn't because I already know I am and where I will end up.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 11
i told my psychiatrist and a couple of my friends from my aa meetings that I trust
but theres no way I'm opening up to anybody in the house about this
I'm just scared I'm not one to just have a small relapse I'm scared I've set off a nightmare...
but theres no way I'm opening up to anybody in the house about this
I'm just scared I'm not one to just have a small relapse I'm scared I've set off a nightmare...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,371
I know when I'd relapsed I always rode the whirlwind to the end, and I assumed that was just how it went.
I know now that's not true.
You *can* stop the madness anytime - reach out as much as you can, get as much support as you can, and nip this in the bud....now.
You'll find a lot of support here
I meant to say welcome before - it's good to have you here
D
I know now that's not true.
You *can* stop the madness anytime - reach out as much as you can, get as much support as you can, and nip this in the bud....now.
You'll find a lot of support here
I meant to say welcome before - it's good to have you here
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 11
ya I've had many bottoms and the worse things can happen and I'll feel at progressively lower points emotionally mentally spiritually physically... and I tend to forget those moments at times like these and all I can think about is the good times
ya I know I need to get support and help now I do not want to go back to what it was like I'm already not in a good headspace already
and thank you!
ya I know I need to get support and help now I do not want to go back to what it was like I'm already not in a good headspace already
and thank you!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
I suffer from the disease of addiction. The symptom of addiction is substance abuse.
There was a time when alcoholism was classed as its own disease, but now it is a subheading under the disease of addiction.
I am alcoholic. During times when I was trying to quit drinking, I turned to other substances to "substitute" for the alcohol. "Marijuana maintenance", if you will. It ALWAYS led me back to the alcohol, which was my drug of choice. And I picked up right from the point where I left off, and continued down the slide. It was like I never stopped drinking at all. I lived like this for decades. I don't anymore. It wasn't worth it.
In my opinion, you are playing with fire.
My younger brother developed cirrhosis of the liver at the age of 18. He went into rehab at the age of 27. He achieved sobriety for seven years, but we lost him at the age of 34 due to undiagnosed liver cancer. He didn't follow through with his annual visits to check on his liver. He began drinking and drugging at a pretty young age.
That's pretty much what I know about alcoholism.
There was a time when alcoholism was classed as its own disease, but now it is a subheading under the disease of addiction.
I am alcoholic. During times when I was trying to quit drinking, I turned to other substances to "substitute" for the alcohol. "Marijuana maintenance", if you will. It ALWAYS led me back to the alcohol, which was my drug of choice. And I picked up right from the point where I left off, and continued down the slide. It was like I never stopped drinking at all. I lived like this for decades. I don't anymore. It wasn't worth it.
In my opinion, you are playing with fire.
My younger brother developed cirrhosis of the liver at the age of 18. He went into rehab at the age of 27. He achieved sobriety for seven years, but we lost him at the age of 34 due to undiagnosed liver cancer. He didn't follow through with his annual visits to check on his liver. He began drinking and drugging at a pretty young age.
That's pretty much what I know about alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 426
Cocaine is what gave me problems initially, so I replaced it with booze, but the drinking ultimately ended up causing even more issues (with harsher consequences to boot). When I was 15 I was admitted to my first inpatient rehab for a pretty severe coke habit. I relapsed shortly after discharge and wound up at another treatment center when I was 17, this time fully aware and accepting of the fact that I was powerless over cocaine and simply not capable of ever using it moderation. Alcohol, seemingly a safer alternative, became my outlet instead. I'm in my early thirties now, undeniably an alcoholic, and struggling to clean up the wreckage that my drinking caused. The descent might be a bit slower with the bottle than the drug, but the madness is the same & the hole can be just as deep, regardless of your weapon of choice.
Be careful and best of luck.
Be careful and best of luck.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
Of course it is possible to not be an alcoholic yet be a drug addict. Not everyone who drinks can become alcoholic.
Probably a bad idea to drink at all in your situation. That you are drinking despite the price you're likely to pay for it is a really bad sign. If you continue to get drunk despite risking sinking lower than you have already (turning your life around doesn't mean making yourself sicker as you have recently) then welcome to our little club.
Where will you go after the halfway house kicks you out?
Probably a bad idea to drink at all in your situation. That you are drinking despite the price you're likely to pay for it is a really bad sign. If you continue to get drunk despite risking sinking lower than you have already (turning your life around doesn't mean making yourself sicker as you have recently) then welcome to our little club.
Where will you go after the halfway house kicks you out?
SoberDreams
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 42
Sounds like you are substituting one addiction for another. How are you getting away with this in a sober house? You are so young. If you can stop this now, you will be much better off than other addicts. Alcoholics are drug addicts too. Our drug of choice just happens to be legal...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 184
I think one can be a drug addict and not an alcoholic, though alcohol is a drug, indeed. One doesn't necessarily = the other. We must always keep in mind that an addictive personality is at more risk. I don't have a problem with drugs at all and by your logic, I should. See?
That isn't to say there isn't a high risk of it happening for you.
That isn't to say there isn't a high risk of it happening for you.
Sobriety date April 19th 2011
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Salem, VA
Posts: 157
To me , addiction is addiction. alcohol/nicotine/caffiene... they are all drugs too. Just socially acceptable drugs.
The issue is the Addiction part.
Based on what you described , you will see in the big book and in many AA meetings that it's not how often or how much you drink/use it's what happens when you drink/use.
Even if nothing bad happens 9/10 times , the issue typically stems from once you take that first drink/drug you will continue to do it until you run out of money/access/ability(pass out) for the night. And I can promise you unequivocally if you are drinking up to 12 shots in a night at any age...Bad **** WILL start to happen. It might only be 1/20 times.... but it will happen and it will have MAJOR impact on your life.
I started off much like you in my teens I only drank once a week ( but smoked weed daily ) About 19 I stopped smoking weed but continued to drink once a week. I was an alcoholic because I couldn't just drink 1-2 or even 1-4. Once I started drinking it was ON and I didn't stop until I was hammered. By 23 I had two DUI's, 2 Assault and Battery charges and a substance abuse charge.
Like mentioned above , I tried many drugs in between and was always able to stop all others except the drink. The reason ? It was more socially acceptable and WAY more easily accessible and I was substituting.
I heard a story from my sponsor the other day about a guy who did not drink all year long, every year except around the holidays prior to AA. He came in AA because of what happened when he drank. Every year he ended up in jail , in a hospital , in a ditch around the holidays thanks to drinking. Once he took a drink , the end result was completely unpredictable.
You show the early signs my friend, but ultimately only you can make the acknowledgement through educating yourself on "What defines an addict"
I wish you luck to find this answer way sooner than the rest of us and completely respect your willingness to seek this information at such a young age. Most 17 yr olds aren't even ion the mindset to question such a thing.
The issue is the Addiction part.
Based on what you described , you will see in the big book and in many AA meetings that it's not how often or how much you drink/use it's what happens when you drink/use.
Even if nothing bad happens 9/10 times , the issue typically stems from once you take that first drink/drug you will continue to do it until you run out of money/access/ability(pass out) for the night. And I can promise you unequivocally if you are drinking up to 12 shots in a night at any age...Bad **** WILL start to happen. It might only be 1/20 times.... but it will happen and it will have MAJOR impact on your life.
I started off much like you in my teens I only drank once a week ( but smoked weed daily ) About 19 I stopped smoking weed but continued to drink once a week. I was an alcoholic because I couldn't just drink 1-2 or even 1-4. Once I started drinking it was ON and I didn't stop until I was hammered. By 23 I had two DUI's, 2 Assault and Battery charges and a substance abuse charge.
Like mentioned above , I tried many drugs in between and was always able to stop all others except the drink. The reason ? It was more socially acceptable and WAY more easily accessible and I was substituting.
I heard a story from my sponsor the other day about a guy who did not drink all year long, every year except around the holidays prior to AA. He came in AA because of what happened when he drank. Every year he ended up in jail , in a hospital , in a ditch around the holidays thanks to drinking. Once he took a drink , the end result was completely unpredictable.
You show the early signs my friend, but ultimately only you can make the acknowledgement through educating yourself on "What defines an addict"
I wish you luck to find this answer way sooner than the rest of us and completely respect your willingness to seek this information at such a young age. Most 17 yr olds aren't even ion the mindset to question such a thing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by withoutatrace 
ya I've had many bottoms and the worse things can happen and I'll feel at progressively lower points emotionally mentally spiritually physically... and I tend to forget those moments at times like these and all I can think about is the good times
ya I know I need to get support and help now I do not want to go back to what it was like I'm already not in a good headspace already
and thank you!
ya I know I need to get support and help now I do not want to go back to what it was like I'm already not in a good headspace already
and thank you!
I hope you grab onto sobriety and save yourself and everyone you love and loves you a lot of grief.
Wishing you the best.
Bob R.
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