RadicalGfx

My Mum has had a pretty crap life. Her father died when she was young and now at the age of 51 she has lost 2 brothers and her mother too. I understand why she is how she is but that doesn't make it right.

She talks about how her Mother was an alcoholic, surely she can see the pain she inflicts on our family? For about 5 years now my mum has had a drinking problem. At first it would just be on a Thursday, I'd come home from College and she'd be drunk. In the last 2 years it's got much worse.

On Friday she finally went to the A.A. I finally saw a way forward. Unfortunately not. She drank Saturday night, Sunday morning and then last night. She went shopping with my Dad and while he was putting the shopping in the car, she went to down some vodka in the toilets. My dad found the bottle and was irate, they had a massive argument and then she left the house, not to be heard from all night.

Bearing in mind I'm a finalist at University, this isn't exactly ideal preparation, to find out the night before your exam that your alcoholic mother has gone walk about. Anyway, I went into my exam not knowing whether my Mother was dead or alive. Thankfully she was alive, she went down the backtrack and got stuck in a ditch for the night. Her phone was dead and she had to wait until the morning for some passers by who called her an ambulance. She went to the hospital and she's ok, just a little shaken up.

Will she get better? Is it normal for people to react to their first time at AA like this? May this experience really knock it into her that she needs to stop drinking?

Thanks for listening.

Bikerchick

Will she get better? Noone has any control over that except for her. You can't convince her or coerce her into believing that she needs help. All you can do is to make sure that you care for yourself. I know it's hard, but focus on school right now and try to limit communication with your mom and dad for awhile. I know you are worried about her, but entangling yourself in her addiction will not help her and will only hurt you. Try to find an Alanon meeting near you and start going. It helps.

BHF

I can only suggest that you keep hoping and encouraging her to become active in recovery. Speaking from my pesonal experience and what I have seen, very rarely do people get and stay sober after initially being introduced to AA, or any form of recovery. It is said that it takes a psychic change and for the most part, it's a gradual process.

Good luck with exams.

fourmaggie

keep reading, the posties, all al anon literature...

are you and your dad going to al anon?...it is a good place to be...it will help you, and there is lots of wisdom through those doors

Cyranoak

Maybe, maybe not. Some get better, some live relatively long lives drunk, and some die early from alcohol related illnesses.

Regardless, her hard life is shared with literally thousands and thousands of people who are not alcohlics. It's not a reason, it's an excuse.

Why she's an alcoholic is irrelevant-- she's an alcoholic. What can you do about it? Keep an open mind, go to at least six Alanon meetings (some different) and you will learn how to find your answers.

Take care and good luck,

Cyranoak

SoloMio

Please continue on the great path you're on at University (and beyond). As far as your mother goes--as others have said, she has her own path, and as a mother myself, I can tell you she doesn't want the added guilt of thinking that YOUR life is being affected by her drinking.

A mother wants her son/daughter to thrive--so go live your life, and let her find her recovery in her own way. Be grateful that it seems there is a c-h-i-n-k in the armor of denial for her.

And go to Alanon.