soberviking

Gave up like a *****. Called in to work for 3 days, feel like ****. Ain't life grand?

Kjell

Hi Viking-

Been there, done that, but once I "relapsed" and got a dui, my 2nd one.

Bad things can happen and do when we alcoholics drink.

Maybe it's time to let go of some old ideas?

How about an AA meeting?

Do something, anything, everything different.

Kjell~

soberviking

The way I'm feeling I'm not going to an aa meeting. Heck I'm not even going to show my face outside this door for the whole day.

But why can't I just quit this damn thing?!?!?! I can be all gung ho about stopping it but after a few days I'm right back at it. I don't want to be like my Brother and find myself dead becuase of this damn thing!

Zebra1275

So what's your plan? It sounds like you don't want 3 days to turn into 5 or 6, and at some point your employer is going to wonder what's going on.

soberviking

My plan is for today sit around shaking and having anxiety attacks.

Tomorrow hell I dont know, I guess going to a group will magically cure me.

lizisme

There is no cure. No one else can do this for you. I hit rock bottom, I wanted so desperately to be sober, to live, to breathe tomorrow. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, I was so over feeling the anger, the frustration, the hurt, the sick and tired of being sick and tired. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and begged for help whole heartedly. You can do this!

littlefish

There are some things I remember from my first days here. Some little pearls of wisdom.
One of the first things I was asked was if I had a plan. I had never thought that getting sober might involve a plan.
That was a great suggestion: I called my doctor for blood work, especially liver levels. And I told my doctor about my drinking. I called an outpatient rehab and booked an appointment. I found the address to my first AA meeting and went to it. I did all that in just a couple of days. It was the beginning of my journey.

Another little pearl of wisdom I got here on SR was:
"Recovery is not an event, but a journey".

There is a lot you can do to get sober: you don't have to go to AA, you can choose a non-faith based program.

Just this morning I read another little pearl of wisdom in someone's post:
"My emotions generally follow my actions".
That is so true: I never got anywhere trying to think myself sober. I had to "get into action". ("Getting into action" is the title of a chapter in the big book of AA, and another pearl).

soberviking

You're right, there is no cure. if I could find a way to turn off my cravings I would of have done so by now. But I just dont see how going to a one hour meeting is going to "help" me.


edit* Sorry if I'm coming across as pissy. I'm just really agitated and angry with myself right now. And yeah I know it's not good to be feeling that way but I can't help it.

Fandy

perhaps going to a meeting for an hour would change your negative mindset? it won't hurt to try if your other method is not working....after all, it's only an hour?

everyone is different in their needs to stop drinking....you have to really want to do it and you have to make a plan to occupy your time too...change up your routine. because after you overcome the anxiety and hangover..i have a little voice that can trigger me.

Anna

I think we all agree that there is no magic bullet, and I do understand why you feel pissy.

My advice is - Do something differently this time. Make a plan, change your routine, and be prepared for the feeling in a couple of days when you feel better. You know it's coming, so how will you handle it this time?

lizisme

I understand. It is incredibly frustrating. Its pure insanity, well it was for me. I wanted to stop, was physically ill, yet I couldnt, I just could not believe that I absolutely could not stop drinking...by myself. Your here, and that IS a positive start :-)

soberviking

AA I got it. But what other ideas can I throw into my "plan"?

Kjell

Yo Vike-

I know how you feel b/c I've been there before, many times, and I don't ever want to go back to that hell.

...and for me, it only got worse and more dangerous.

Nothing changed for me until I became willing to follow direction from those who know how to get sober.

Kjell~

littlefish

Well, because a lot of people at the meetings are in exactly the same place as you. I have sat next to people going through withdrawals, I have sat in meetings going through withdrawals myself. I have sat at meetings feeling like crap and not wanting to look anyone in the eye and I have sat at meetings feeling like a million dollars.
the way I feel about meetings is that I ALWAYS hear something that I have never thought of myself.
If I could think up all my solutions for life's problems all by myself, I would still be in the fetal position and would not have grown in life. I need other people's observations and thoughts. I can't come up with all the solutions myself!

Enoy

I read this this morning :
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

About the middle of the chapter there is a story very much like that.... Most of the chapter is very much like that actually.

It's the same issue I was having ( not the binge but the inability to stop ) until I took step 3 in my heart. Since then it's been alot easier.

newby1961

Sorry I know you want to hear something different than an AA meeting but the bottom line is that is what has worked for me and millions of other folks in almost every country.

I kept getting loaded because I kept thinking I was going to do something to keep myself sober and when people would suggest things like going to AA I thought I was different. I was sure that place might work for you guys but heck not me.

The funny thing is that I had no clue what even went on in those meetings it was just another judgement call. Another contempt prior to investigation.

WakeUp

You're right, a one hour meeting won't do anything for you. Getting on a recovery program and doing the things that will lead to a process of change will do everything for you.

Zube

Group won't , but a higher power will. In my humble opinion.

Sucks, but don't beat yourself up too bad. You're not the first alcoholic to relapse, and you won't be the last. Get up, dust yourself off, and don't drink for today.

Zube

LosingmyMisery

I understand how you feel, SV. I never wanted to go to a meeting either. I didn't understand what I couldn't know. That is alcoholism doing what it does best. The disease wants us to stay in out disease. Our minds twist and shape reason to meet what we already know. What we know is to drink and that is the problem.

Try to keep an open mind. I wanted to stop drinking, but I also wanted to wake up one day and have my life changed, the desire to quit drinking gone. It takes work and a lot of it. It isn't easy, but nothing changed until I made the effort to make the changes happen. I formed an opinion and then reformed it. It takes time to know what we know. Today, it is crystal clear that I cannot drink and I have the tools to get me where I need to be, sober, and keep me there.

artsoul

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. As far as what you can add on top of AA, I find getting really involved with SR the most help.

I spent my day 1 in bed, reading on this forum - I've probably been here every day (but one or two) since. I really have to remind myself on a daily basis that I can't drink - I have to stay motivated.... and I can't do that with just a couple hours a week at AA. Sometimes I'm here twice a day or more. Every day there are new stories about what alcohol has taken away from someone, and new stories about how much better life is without it.

I went to treatment twice and relapsed after years of sobriety both times. And it's only because I thought I'd be able to control my drinking and forgot what it was like to be in that hell...... Now, instead of spending $1000's on treatment, I only have to get on my laptop. It's free, it's convenient, and I'm making friends on top of it. Come here when you first get a craving. Post about what you're going through and questions about recovery etc. Print off some of the posts, or write down some quotes that are most helpful.

In time, I think it's good to begin to set some personal goals, get assessed for mental/emotional issues, and get involved in things that you enjoy doing sober, but for me the first 6 months of sobriety was about staying motivated and getting through those urges to drink.

Just my 2 cents.......... I do hope you feel better soon.