Financial consequences linger . . .
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Financial consequences linger . . .
Many of you know what I have been thru with my ex Ah and how it has affected my financial state. I have struggled but am doing ok now - things are much tighter now for us that Kaileigh is living with us (we struggle with some resentment because her dad doesn't even offer to help but is all too willing to tell her "oh Kaileigh you need to get you some Nike Cleats for softball not those you have" really????" - well then pitch in and help a little - but no i didn't say anything! ugh!)
But - we traded my vehicle for a smaller one, lower note & better gas mileage - since I have that 130 mile commute each day and just are watching things here and there.
Well this wkend I tried to write a check at a store - (couldn't find my debit card) and it was rejected?? (how embarassing!!) So i called yesterday to find out why?
IT's because of my exAH!!
in 2007 when we were replacing our home damaged by Hurricane Rita - we had to have a Joint cking accout for FEMA/SBA funds ~ he wrote cks out of this acct for gambling, drugs, and anything else he decided he wanted ~ definitely he did not use the $$ for the house as it was intended. He overdrew the account and I had to go pick up the cks, pay the money & fees and close the account. This all while he was pretending to be sober & attending meetings! ugh ugh ugh
The cking account I use now is a totally seperate account - his name has never been on my acct. But I am still - 4 yrs later, divorced, cks paid, nsf fees paid, bankruptcy completed & discharged, and no longer associated with him ~ but I'm not allowed to write a check -
Still suffering consequences from 16 plus yrs of trying to stay married to an alcoholic/addict ~ from trying to make something work that was so unhealthy from the very beginning til the bitter end.
Yep - another day of not allowing circumstances of my past steal todays joys - Breathe in, Breathe out -
It's probably not a big deal to most - I think it just brings up all that turmoil and the fact that he and 2 other drug addicts are living in that house that I worked so hard for - for FREE and probably always will.
YODA sez ~ Try not for acceptance - just accept!
AFGO (another frickin growth opportunity)
thanks for letting me vent . . .
and a word of caution to those still involved with active addicts/alcoholics - please please speak with legal counsel on how to protect yourself financially - there are NO LAWS to protect you - especially if you live in a community property state!!
Wishing each of you a day full of Sunshine, Grace, Gratitude and Serenity!
That's what I'm working on making mine full of today - regardless!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
But - we traded my vehicle for a smaller one, lower note & better gas mileage - since I have that 130 mile commute each day and just are watching things here and there.
Well this wkend I tried to write a check at a store - (couldn't find my debit card) and it was rejected?? (how embarassing!!) So i called yesterday to find out why?
IT's because of my exAH!!
in 2007 when we were replacing our home damaged by Hurricane Rita - we had to have a Joint cking accout for FEMA/SBA funds ~ he wrote cks out of this acct for gambling, drugs, and anything else he decided he wanted ~ definitely he did not use the $$ for the house as it was intended. He overdrew the account and I had to go pick up the cks, pay the money & fees and close the account. This all while he was pretending to be sober & attending meetings! ugh ugh ugh
The cking account I use now is a totally seperate account - his name has never been on my acct. But I am still - 4 yrs later, divorced, cks paid, nsf fees paid, bankruptcy completed & discharged, and no longer associated with him ~ but I'm not allowed to write a check -
Still suffering consequences from 16 plus yrs of trying to stay married to an alcoholic/addict ~ from trying to make something work that was so unhealthy from the very beginning til the bitter end.
Yep - another day of not allowing circumstances of my past steal todays joys - Breathe in, Breathe out -
It's probably not a big deal to most - I think it just brings up all that turmoil and the fact that he and 2 other drug addicts are living in that house that I worked so hard for - for FREE and probably always will.
YODA sez ~ Try not for acceptance - just accept!
AFGO (another frickin growth opportunity)
thanks for letting me vent . . .
and a word of caution to those still involved with active addicts/alcoholics - please please speak with legal counsel on how to protect yourself financially - there are NO LAWS to protect you - especially if you live in a community property state!!
Wishing each of you a day full of Sunshine, Grace, Gratitude and Serenity!
That's what I'm working on making mine full of today - regardless!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by MsPINKAcres 
.... things are much tighter now for us that Kaileigh is living with us (we struggle with some resentment because her dad doesn't even offer to help but is all too willing to tell her "oh Kaileigh you need to get you some Nike Cleats for softball not those you have" really????" - well then pitch in and help a little - but no i didn't say anything! ugh!)
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Originally Posted by outtolunch
Do you have a court order for him to pay child support?
ODAT!
Thanks for the support -
Feeling much better after venting - It is what it is and I'll just have to make sure I don't try to write a check at any stores!
Hope everyone enjoys this Wonderous Wednesday!
PINK HUGS!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 216
Oh, Ms Pink....know how that feels. You see the addict with new clothes, new jewerly, etc. while you are trying to make ends meet, juggle a hectic schedule and be grounded so the innocent child you are caring for can have a chance at a decent life.
YOu and your family are in my prayers today. You seem to have a good handle on it though and I commend you for that.
Huggs
YOu and your family are in my prayers today. You seem to have a good handle on it though and I commend you for that.
Huggs
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Rita,
Hugs going out to you. Addiction...the gift that keeps on giving. I'm really glad that you posted this because I really believe that it is incredibly important to protect ourselves financially. I did not and I hope that my situation will encourage others to cover their bases financially and legally.
There are things that can get you triggered and I can definitely see how the house is one of those things.
Just wanted to let you know that I am sending you support and hugs....Donna
Hugs going out to you. Addiction...the gift that keeps on giving. I'm really glad that you posted this because I really believe that it is incredibly important to protect ourselves financially. I did not and I hope that my situation will encourage others to cover their bases financially and legally.
There are things that can get you triggered and I can definitely see how the house is one of those things.
Just wanted to let you know that I am sending you support and hugs....Donna
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 45
Hugs...Did I tell you Ive been dealing with possible intent to commit bank fraud charges due to AH overdrafting my account several years ago....and the water company permanently wont take a check from me.
Oh well, remember it could always be worse.
Oh well, remember it could always be worse.
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