RyanRed

In the last few hours I have been experiencing extreme urges to drink. I keep mentally battling with myself over it.

Well at the moment Im over at my mother place, and she asks me if I would go to the store to pick her up some coffee and cookies. I pause for a moment, and say sure then. She leaves the room, and I explode in my mind! Screaming NO!!! I cant go to the store now! Not with these urges! But I do anyways because its for her.

I get to the store, and pace around for a bit. Find a clerk, and ask where the coffee is. I snag the coffee and cookies. Then I walk over to the liquor and just stare! Oh and yeah my drink of choice is on freakin sale. Just awesome.. So I stare and stare. Then my phone rings. I pick it up and its one of my old drinkin pals. JUST FREAKIN GREAT! If this temptation couldn't get any worse. I BS with my buddy for a little bit, and hang up. I then mentally slap myself and leave the liquor isle. (Funny how I couldnt find the coffee, but I sure could find that damn booze isle with no problem!!!). So I walk around the store for a little while fighting with myself in my mind. Finally I say screw it I gotta get outta this place before I do something really stupid! I pick up a few snacks for myself and head to check out.

Oh and of course! What happens at check out? Another buddy of mine is in line behind me with a 6 pack off beer. OH WTF!!!! lol. I just say hello, yadda yadda how ya doing. So I finished checking out and leave the store. I MADE IT OUT with not buying any alcohol! Whew!!

Soon as I get back to my moms place, my phone rings again. Its my buddy Mike. My best friend and drinking buddy of course. I was a little shakin up, and when I was talking to him he could tell. He says to me, Hey Ryan you sound busy bud Ill let ya go. I say no no Im just a little shaken up. He asks why, and this is when I finally tell him Ive decided to quit drinking. To my suprise he actually was very very proud to hear that. We talked about it before and HE told me I was making a good choice. He also mentioned he needs to do the same for himself because him and his wife are constantly fighting because they are both alcoholics.

But let me tell you. In the last 45 mins, I was tested like a SOB. And its SO SO SO SO odd that Mike happens to call me right when I get home, and how that conversation turned out. Very strange indeed.

Well I will have to admit. I did pick up something to drink there, and Im drinking it now. Green Tea I hear this stuffs good for ya.

Anyways just wanted to share!

-Ryan

Ranger

Thanks for sharing, RR. Be proud of the example you're setting for your bud. Maybe if we'd had such examples we'd have quit sooner?

....maybe?

....possibly?

Well, it's a nice enough thought, ain't it?

RyanRed

Yeah I actually went into detail to him of what Ive been dealing with the last few weeks. I told him its not been easy, but overall I feel fantasic. I also told him about this website, and if he ever wants support getting sober to give me a call.

-Ryan

pattenat

Ryan good job on resisting the urges. Only you can decide to never pick up again. I commend you on your strength and your willingness to share. Kudos!

Ranger

That's pretty cool. Your ability and willingness to share is going to be so, so helpful to your recovery. The shame and guilt I unknowingly amassed during all the years I drank really had me bound up when I first got sober. The process of unpacking and unloading all that crap has been as liberating as it is challenging.

EmeraldRose

In your time of need -you may have actually helped someone else. How awesome is that?! Good job resisting.

MsCooterBrown

We have a Safeway store here and you can't miss the liquor..it is a shop within the store but it is the first thing you see when you enter the store. I have taken the adult approach to how I deal with liquor stores..I silently flip them off. I don't blatantly raise the bird..just sdo a flip off that only I know about with both hands guiding the cart. I live in a place where the population MIGHT be 3200 people. That is pushing it..but the liquor stores are abundant here. I thought maybe after months rolled by I would stop the flippage..but apparently it is a knee jerk reaction now. I hope you have better days ahead..Glad you made it thru today.

substance

I really dislike these kinds of crazy scenarios that happen too. I guess these things happen but it really does feel accomplishing to hold your ground. Good job man

artsoul

Good work Ryan - whew......! I'm SO glad you didn't give in and tomorrow you will be too, if you're not already. I loved that you shared with your friend. We so often think that our heavy drinking friends are just having fun, when the reality is they probably have the same feelings, the same hangovers and the same regret we did.

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

FBL

Way to go on resisting the temptations! Use this experience to build on. I know it's hard to imagine now, but if you keep moving forward in your recovery, there will come a time when these things won't even bother you at all.

SomethingBetter

It’s been days/weeks since I really had a craving, yesterday I was at the lake and seen this lady come out of the store carrying a 12 pack, not sure why but I allowed my eyes to follow it onto the boat they were in, she opened the box filling the cooler then handed one to her other 3 friends.

It was at this moment I realized that was only 3 beers each, I would need that whole 12 pack myself if I were to stay the entire day, then I’d need another one after dark to ‘turn it up’ a notch, then a hangover today and I wouldn’t be here reading on SR since 5:30 AM and thinking about the great day I had at the lake with my granddaughter.

We will be tested from time to time, but for me thinking it through really works…

Thanks for sharing Ryan!

TheTinMan

WTG Ryan! Stay strong man.

aasharon90

When thoughts of a drink pop in my mind I
have to discard or get rid of it quickly. What
good is it for me to romantisize about it except
to make me feel miserable. I accepted the fact
that I can't drink successfully and it's all poison,
so why dream about it or think about how it would
make me feel, especially since it almost killed me.

So in a grocery store I ecnore the isle with alcohol
even tho we know it is there and aint gonna go any-
wheres, right? Quickly move on to what we are really
in the grocery store for. Get what I came in there for
and boogie on.

I also say my mermorized Serenity Prayer over and over
till i am feeling comfortable.

Have support with me at times of weakness. Take along
a friend that will support you and remind you how alcohol
tried to kill you, took away all that you have. Self-respect,
family, jobs, friends, your life.

We never have to go thru recovery alone because we have
a support system that is absolutely free.

crittery

That makes for quite a good story! It must've been so tempting seeing it on sale, you have a strong will. Thanks for sharing!

newwings

Wow, Ryan - that's an AWESOME set of tests and circumstances. So hard for you, but you DID IT!!! So proud of you!