Maddy75

My boyfriend drinks and sometimes gets very angry.

I know I should do some real defense training, but in the meantime, I was told by my friend that if I am attacked and the guy exposes himself, if I get hold of one of his balls and squeeze as hard as I can, he will be helpless and then pass out or be incapacitated.

I would be afraid he would get more angry & more violent, but she swears he wouldn't be able to. I asked if she had ever done it. She said no but she "heard".

I don't really trust what she "heard", so I was wondering if anyone has had the experience of truly incapacitating a guy by squeezing or hitting his balls; or the reverse, just making him more angry. I mean, I know it hurts, of course, but can it really put an angry violent man out of action?

I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to be hurt. Worst, I'd hate to try it and make things worse...

Maddy

laurie6781

Welcome to SR. You have found a really great place!

Your best defense is to pick up the phone and call 911!

You are living with an abuser.

Please call your local Domestic Violence Center (DVC) and seek out counceling and a plan of action for when you need to leave at a moments notice.

Until he chooses to find recovery for his drinking the abuse is only going to escalate.

You might also want to post over on our Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Lots of great experience, strength and hope over there for you.

I will answer your question with NO do NOT even try that move. Do not engage if possible as you will only get physically hurt. I speak from personal experience.

My first husband was 6'2" and 190, and I was 5'7" and 118, and I would go 'toe to toe' with him. Sure I would get in some pretty good 'licks', but I always ended up worse off than him.

Now in today's environment, we both would have gone to jail for domestic violence.

Please, if it occurs again, CALL 911!!!!!!

J M H O

Love and hugs,

SSIL75

You need to leave.

EmeraldRose

Sounds like a better choice would be to get yourself out of that situation entirely.

CatFry

Would your friend be willing to leave you a key? Have a bag packed with a few essentials and be prepared to leave. If not to your friend's house than price reasonable motels/hotels in the area. You shouldn't need a self-defense class for a relationship. Is there any option for couple's therapy? If not, what about any therapy? Any chance of him no longer drinking? This is a dangerous situation. Abuse can be an addictive cycle. Often the best statement you can make to an abuser is that it will not be tolerated. This statement is clearest in leaving, at least for a while. Please be careful! Stay sober! I'll send you little prayers all day.

least

I would not want a boyfriend who made it necessary for me to be trained in self defense.

Lipitor

Welcome to the forum.

I have to agree with the previous post by (least).

Alcohol fuelled arguments can quickly escalate to a place where things are out of control.
People can get severely hurt and things cannot be undone.

Look after yourself

L

Fandy

Exactly what Least says...why bother to live in fear? what does this relationship give you? if you have to ask questions about how to incapaciatate him for trying to abuse you?????...remove yourself from this situation, it's dangerous.

nogard

Simply leave your abusive lover and look at why you needed to be there

Zebra1275

You need to leave, the ball squeezing won't work it will only **** him off more.

Enoy

I'm assuming this must be a joke right ? If you are even having to have these thoughts or discussions then exiting is the obvious solution.

Lipitor

You know Enoy, I thought exactly that. A joke.

Im just not so sure. Im glad that I was not the only one who entertained that idea.

Regards
L

Seth84

You're asking advice on how to incapacitate a violent drunk? On a recovery site? Why not go to a battered womens forumn or some self defense site? Wow, very realistic to think your going to control him by force. This must be a joke. If not, please, seek help.

MsCooterBrown

" know I should do some real defense training, but in the meantime, I was told by my friend that if I am attacked and the guy exposes himself, if I get hold of one of his balls and squeeze as hard as I can, he will be helpless and then pass out or be incapacitated."

I was attacked..but exposing himself was the last thing on his mind...or mine. I took the stop, drop and roll option. Still ended up with a broken nose and bruises all over my body. I let the cops take over. I got out..took a year to try to drink myself into oblivion..then got sober and took a good look at myself and how I had somehow let my life get that insane. If you can see no way to get out - call Project Safe.

On any given day you can pull up the news and read about another murder/suicide. Those are the people that stayed together WAY TOO LONG! I am sure he is not worth trading your life for...I wish you well.