AllLiesAndJest

I'm now on Day 13, and the challenge of remaining sober seems to be getting tougher rather than easier. But I am confident, from my reading of other posts, that it will, at some point, get easier.
I've now made that key decision to remain dry for the rest of my life. I'm hoping that will also help. No longer as case of "I'll see how long I can make this last..."
Others, especially much more experienced folk in long-term recovery, seem to see this as a vitally important concept to grasp.
In the meantime, I seem to have substituted my obsessing about booze with frequent and slightly obsessive visits to this forum - to read and obtain as many insights as I can!
But my wife is getting frustrated that I'm doing little else now!
Oh well - it's a small price to pay!!

Boleo

If it ever gets to the point where you are ridding in police cars or ambulance's as a result of your "forum obsession" - you might need to find a support group for that as well LOL!

aasharon90

The longer we stay sober we learn how to balance
things in life such as family, jobs, sports, church,
recovery meetings, doctors, vacations and so on.

To much of anything isnt good. So we learn to balance
out our responsibilities so we dont lose focus of other
important obligations in our lives.

Having family support where all take part in the sick
members recovery is good. It aids in buliding a stronger
bond between family members.

Neglecting one thing for another will result in a negative
outcome.

Happy Recovery Journey.

omegasupreme

I take everything to the gates of insanity or death. Anything worth doing is worth abusing. Welcome to recovery.

FNB3

I would try to explain to your wife that this is maybe what you need at the moment. I'm checking in ever hour or so too but I can't see that lasting too too long. For now it really helpful.

I could make an argument that anything in too big a quantity can cause you some problems. Obsessions just have varying degrees of consequences. You may get Blackberry Thumbs, carpal tunnel syndrome and a pissed off spouse but as the above post says, you won't be riding in ambulances any time soon.

newwings

I like to think the time on here is ME time. However long I am on it, it's worth it if I'm not drinking, and I think my husband agrees.

Before, I used to spend hours on Facebook/You Tube, with a glass of wine in hand...writing all sorts of nonsense on Facebook by the end of the night. Nowadays I'm on here with a cup of herbal tea/soda, and, no matter what time of day/night it is, I can be confident that what I've written makes grammatical and logical sense. I can't tell you how nice it is

I'm sure that my visits will lessen from the slightly obsessive amount I'm doing right now. If I don't get on here at least 3 times a day, I worry that people will think I've relapsed. I'm certainly worried about a couple of friends on here I haven't heard from in a while (thinking of you guys, please post asap!!). For me, it's a whole support group 24/7 and it's kept me going during wobbly days. I try to share some postings/opinions with my husband so he doesn't feel left out, but at the moment it's for ME. Since he's still drinking and smoking his pot, we aren't really in the same place at the moment. I think he feels a bit guilty and that's why he doesn't moan about the time spent on here as he doesn't want to be blamed if I did relapse. Which I won't!

RyanRed

AllliesandJest - You and I share the same sobriety date. Just think in 24 hours we will have both been sober for 2 weeks! 2 WEEKS!!!!! To me thats amazing. And in 2 more weeks a month! A whole month! One year ago being sober for 2 weeks let alone working towards an entire month would have never even been a concept I could wrap my mind around.

But I agree with it seems to be getting harder, but thats just the ups and downs of it. Yesterday my mind was jumping all over the place wanting to drink. But I heald on tight, and didnt let that voice in the back of my head get to me. I just kept thinking to myself how BAD I would feel today if I had drank last night. How much I would have let myself down, and these 2 weeks would FLY out the window in a nano second if I drank. Not only would I have been hungover today, but I would end up right back here on SR, but with a different post about how I screwed up. To heck with that ****! Why drink when I already know the outcome will be garbage. Just not worth it in the end.

So I say congrats to you and I for keeping our heads strong, and pushing forward to a better life!

-Ryan

EmeraldRose

I think being here is better than drinking!

I think it would be an obsession if you stayed home from work, or stayed up all night but frequent visits to bide the time shouldn't be considered obsession.

I was here alot ALOT in the beginning, too. But over time you feel comfortable and things even out. You'll get that way. I've been busy with a new job, new life and everything is on track. Sometimes I'm here alot sometimes not so much -just depends.

coffeenut

In the very early days of sobriety, I think I lived at SR. It kept me sane and sober.

Three Years later, I'm here a lot, but for different reasons. Guess I'm trying to say my need for SR has changed as my sobriety has changed.

I think I've finally exchanged my obsession for alcohol for an obsession to live a healthier life....I'll take it!

Glad you are here!

AllLiesAndJest

[Delayed post - my internet connection went down: like my umbilical chord was cut!]

Thanks for all the responses, folks.
I'd show them to my wife, but I'm still a 'secret abstainer' as far as she's concerned - but that's another story.
My favourite time on SR is late in the evening - catching up with posts and picking up tips and support instead of drinking: perfect!
It also find the use of a laptop late at night (it's currently 00:30 here in the UK) with no lights on in the bedroom helps me to feel sleepy - another helpful benefit as many will appreciate.
(That's no reflection on the quality of posts, I hasten to add !! ;-))
The very best part of this forum is engaging with others who share common goals and want to help, encourage and support one another in the process.
Thanks again. AL&J

JeremiahS

Need more lifelines not less. They will take time and recovery to develop

FBL

It will get easier. After 30 years of drinking, I had to not just abstain, but also work on myself to find out why I drank like I did. I never thought I could string together a few sober days...that was nearly two years ago!

californiapoppy

When I first came to SR I was also obsessed with it. But at that time there were a lot of rather rowdy feuds which upset me a great deal, I took refuge for a while in the Secular section, then dropped out for a while because there's a LOT less movement in Secular, then I popped in and out. Things are as I like them now, and at times like this I get a lot out of SR. But I no longer try to read and answer everything. I've learned measure. I'm quite content.

yeahgr8

I spent all my time on SR for a long while whilst i was in AA, working the steps, seeing a counselor and beyond...IMO as long as you are doing work on yourself you just do what you have to do to stay focussed, 7 meetings a week, SR 4 hours a day...whatever...if you can give the time you spent drinking over to working on your recovery, especially in the early days, you stand the best chance of making it:-)

crittery

Spending a lot of time on the computer is usually unhealthy, but I think SR is the exception. But you still need to get out of the house unless you want to become a hermit.

Eddiebuckle

A big struggle in early sobriety is to find things to displace the time that would otherwise be spent "white knuckling" the hours away. I went to tons of meetings, read as many books as I could, met with my sponsor, spent time with others in recovery, and spent lots of time on SR. So long as any one tool does not overwhelm your life and recovery, I would say that it's all good. But recovery is about real world relationships, feelings, and coping skills. If it keeps you sober (not merely abstinent), more power to you - just stay present to balance in your program.

AllLiesAndJest

Very sound advice from all these recent posts - my grateful thanks. AL&J