meggie122

I am doing my best at detaching from DH. HE is 9 days on methadone and 7 days clean & sober. I still don't trust a word he says so it's hard to talk to him. I have a desire to know that he is doing well, but when I talk with him about his recovery I feel myself getting sucked back into the craziness. So I remind myself of how he has hurt me and make myself good and mad so that when I have to talk to him about our son or finances I can just make it short and ask no questions.

But my heart wants him to get better.

I know... i have to get me better...take care of myself.

this is so hard.

I'm not sure what to do from here, but I just continue to detach.

he told me today he can't look for another job yet because his brain is foggy from the drug use and he wouldn't be able to focus. (My mind is also in another world ...i sit at my office 8 hours a day and get maybe 4 hours of work done.) But is this an excuse? I don't trust the people he works with. He has access to drugs, drug addicts and the woman he has been cheating on me with. He says he will find another job after he has been clean for awhile, tapered off the methadone and goes to rehab. hmm...I guess in the meantime we are not building trust because I CAN'T trust him at that job!!

He also wants to make sure I am around when he comes by to see our son (who is with my mom when I'm at work) and he wants to buy me a mother's day present. Does he think i can be schmoozed that easily??

THanks for letting me vent.

I think I will do something for myself today...

meggie122

Yes I know. Thus my journey of detachment. It isn't easy to just shut it off.