today is day one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: san antonio, tx
Posts: 14
today is day one
i've decided that today is my day to quit drinking for good. i have been drinking for many years and have been at the same time hurting my family. i know this is going to be a hard road but its something i gotta do to keep my family and wife. i am 32 yrs old going on 33 this month. my drinking has gotten out of my control. i find my self making any excuse to drink. i decided to get my self a gym membership today. if i have time to stop at bars i can make time to go workout and do something go for my body.
this road will not be easy for me. I have a question to the people that have been sober for years or really any one can answer this...
most of my friends are drinkers from social to heavy....how do i stop associating with these friends?
this road will not be easy for me. I have a question to the people that have been sober for years or really any one can answer this...
most of my friends are drinkers from social to heavy....how do i stop associating with these friends?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hey TexasGuy
I had to cut a few guys loose - one guy in particular could not accept he'd lost his drinking buddy....was always trying to get me to drink...so he simply had to go.
to be honest tho, most of the drinking buddies stopped associating with me...
Your real friends will be the ones who'll support you in this - and you'll find lots more new friends here too
Welcome
D
I had to cut a few guys loose - one guy in particular could not accept he'd lost his drinking buddy....was always trying to get me to drink...so he simply had to go.
to be honest tho, most of the drinking buddies stopped associating with me...
Your real friends will be the ones who'll support you in this - and you'll find lots more new friends here too
Welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 325
Welcome to SR!
I have been sober for 5 months now. For me, deciding to stop was easy. Then it was a little harder to stay stopped. And now working the steps to recovery is the actual hard part.
In the beginning I was hanging around old friends and trying to live "normal" but just not drink. After 3 months of torture I walked into my first AA meeting. I finally went into AA because I truly didn't know 1 person who wasn't a drinker. I needed to be around other non-drinkers or I knew I was gonna crack.
My suggestion is just to reach out here on Sober Recovery or meet some people in real life (AA) who have gone what you are going through. If you really want to stay sober you are going to have to make a lot of changes, from who you associate with to how you think.
Working towards recovery has been the toughest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding after years of hopeless drinking.
I have been sober for 5 months now. For me, deciding to stop was easy. Then it was a little harder to stay stopped. And now working the steps to recovery is the actual hard part.
In the beginning I was hanging around old friends and trying to live "normal" but just not drink. After 3 months of torture I walked into my first AA meeting. I finally went into AA because I truly didn't know 1 person who wasn't a drinker. I needed to be around other non-drinkers or I knew I was gonna crack.
My suggestion is just to reach out here on Sober Recovery or meet some people in real life (AA) who have gone what you are going through. If you really want to stay sober you are going to have to make a lot of changes, from who you associate with to how you think.
Working towards recovery has been the toughest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding after years of hopeless drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Welcome to SR, TexasGuy. Taking the first step to quit drinking is a hard thing to do. Changing your lifestyle to a healthy one is a very good thing to do by joining a gym. You will lose some to a lot of your drinking friends. It will be hard to go through and they are not bad or not a true friend but most likely you hang out with these people to drink heavy or to have fun with alcohol. Friends will come and go, good and bad. Try meetup.com and try to found groups that your interesting in. If your using alcohol for any type of problem like depression or anxiety then to a professional about your problems would be a good idea to look into. Good luck with your recovery and try to enjoy life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MA
Posts: 10
Hi TexasGuy, I'm on day one with you. I finally posted for the first time yesterday and need to get more active here. The support is unbelievable.
I'm lucky that my friends aren't big drinkers so I don't have to find a new network, although I do pass on the wine tasting dinners.
Keeping yourself occupied is key. My relapse this past weekend was due to me having too much time on my hands with no plans. I can also recommend meetup.com. Great way to get out and find new people to hang with.
sparks
I'm lucky that my friends aren't big drinkers so I don't have to find a new network, although I do pass on the wine tasting dinners.
Keeping yourself occupied is key. My relapse this past weekend was due to me having too much time on my hands with no plans. I can also recommend meetup.com. Great way to get out and find new people to hang with.
sparks
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Hello, and welcome! I found this site the day I knew I could no longer have a relationship with alcohol; been here and alcohol-free ever since.
I know what it's like when all of your friends are drinkers and you wonder what it will be like if you stop drinking. Well, over the last 13 months, I still talk to everyone I used to hang out with, but we don't see each other as often as we used to. The main reason for that is all our get-togethers revolved around drinking, so when I stopped drinking I also stopped hanging out in situations where alcohol was the common denominator. I still do most of the things I did when I was drinking, like going to baseball games and such, but now I usually go with my close friends who don't have to get hammered to have a good time.
It's not that I purposely avoid hanging out with my friends; they're all good people. It's just that these days, instead of going to a bar and spending money and getting drunk with my friends, I choose to come home and watch TV with my girl.
I've also been able to be an example for some of my friends who drink a lot. A couple have even slowed down and one has stopped drinking altogether. It's a really good feeling to be able to help people in that way.
I know what it's like when all of your friends are drinkers and you wonder what it will be like if you stop drinking. Well, over the last 13 months, I still talk to everyone I used to hang out with, but we don't see each other as often as we used to. The main reason for that is all our get-togethers revolved around drinking, so when I stopped drinking I also stopped hanging out in situations where alcohol was the common denominator. I still do most of the things I did when I was drinking, like going to baseball games and such, but now I usually go with my close friends who don't have to get hammered to have a good time.
It's not that I purposely avoid hanging out with my friends; they're all good people. It's just that these days, instead of going to a bar and spending money and getting drunk with my friends, I choose to come home and watch TV with my girl.
I've also been able to be an example for some of my friends who drink a lot. A couple have even slowed down and one has stopped drinking altogether. It's a really good feeling to be able to help people in that way.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Sebastian
Posts: 2
Give us Today Our Daily Bread!
The real way to deal with worry is to pray, “Give us today our daily bread.” Praying for our “daily bread” includes everything we worry about on a daily basis – our health, our finances, our schedule, our future, all the things we have to deal with. God says, “If you want less stress in your life, then you have to relax in me and let me give you your daily bread.”We want God to give us everything we need for the next five years, just put it in a bank account so we can see it’s there and not worry. But God doesn’t do it that way. He gives us just what we need one day at a time because he wants us to live in a daily relationship of trust in him. God can meet every need you’ll ever have because he’s God.
God wants to meet our needs, not our greeds, because he’s a loving father.
Praying for our "daily bread" includes everything we worry about on a daily basis – our health, our finances, our schedule, our future, all the things we have to deal with. He will meet our needs as we trust in him moment-by-moment, day-by-day.
The real way to deal with worry is to pray, “Give us today our daily bread.” Praying for our “daily bread” includes everything we worry about on a daily basis – our health, our finances, our schedule, our future, all the things we have to deal with. God says, “If you want less stress in your life, then you have to relax in me and let me give you your daily bread.”We want God to give us everything we need for the next five years, just put it in a bank account so we can see it’s there and not worry. But God doesn’t do it that way. He gives us just what we need one day at a time because he wants us to live in a daily relationship of trust in him. God can meet every need you’ll ever have because he’s God.
God wants to meet our needs, not our greeds, because he’s a loving father.
Praying for our "daily bread" includes everything we worry about on a daily basis – our health, our finances, our schedule, our future, all the things we have to deal with. He will meet our needs as we trust in him moment-by-moment, day-by-day.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
When I was a drinker...so were all of my friends.
Naturally...........drinkers do hang out together
That way they keep the lie going "I'm not different..everyone drinks" .
When I told them my apartment was now a no drinking zone
and that I had joined AA....most drifted away
Then I had time to find new sober AA friends who shared my new
goals and sober lifestyle....
.
I quit drinking in '89...33 of those former friends died from alcohol related causes..
Welcome to SR....
All my best to you and your family
Naturally......
.....drinkers do hang out togetherThat way they keep the lie going "I'm not different..everyone drinks" .
When I told them my apartment was now a no drinking zone
and that I had joined AA....most drifted away
Then I had time to find new sober AA friends who shared my new
goals and sober lifestyle....
.I quit drinking in '89...33 of those former friends died from alcohol related causes..
Welcome to SR....
All my best to you and your family
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: san antonio, tx
Posts: 14
I'm glad I found this forum. I have read some post that have already made me think differently. I can already see I'm not alone on this.
Today is day two for me. I'm really going to commit to this. Last time I tried it only lasted a week. This time I have made the commitment to stop completely. I know today is only day two but I feel good today......no hang over.
I will start to distant my self from drinking buddies. Getting drunk every night is something I no longer want.
Today is day two for me. I'm really going to commit to this. Last time I tried it only lasted a week. This time I have made the commitment to stop completely. I know today is only day two but I feel good today......no hang over.
I will start to distant my self from drinking buddies. Getting drunk every night is something I no longer want.
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
Hih Texasguy So glad you are here with us and have decided on a clean/sober life! I personally isolated myself throughout my 11 years of addiction but there were some people that I just had to cut ties with. I ended all toxic relationships/friendships in my life because I wanted the best chance possible to succeed in my recovery.
Congrats on your 2 days, you can do this It'll only get better from here..
Surrounding yourself with people who are supportive so you can build a solid support system will be key...at least it was for me. Doing it on my own, by myself, has never worked out so well. I'm also thankful I found SR a couple of months ago, it has been an invaluable support for me.
I wish you luck and we're always here for you
-Jess
So glad you are here with us and have decided on a clean/sober life! I personally isolated myself throughout my 11 years of addiction but there were some people that I just had to cut ties with. I ended all toxic relationships/friendships in my life because I wanted the best chance possible to succeed in my recovery. Congrats on your 2 days, you can do this
It'll only get better from here..Surrounding yourself with people who are supportive so you can build a solid support system will be key...at least it was for me. Doing it on my own, by myself, has never worked out so well. I'm also thankful I found SR a couple of months ago, it has been an invaluable support for me.
I wish you luck and we're always here for you
-Jess
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 426
You probably heard this when you were a kid but 'if they truely are your friends they they will be there after you get sober' although if they are alcoholics as well, it is likely they will disappear on their own as those alcoholics do not like to hang around sober people.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi - glad you're getting sober and congrats on day 2! It takes some getting used to, but there are so many things that can actually be more fun sober (playing sports, going to games and even concerts, movies, hobbies). I have a few friends who are still heavy drinkers and I see them occasionally, just don't do the night of drinking anymore.
Take it one day at a time and things will get clearer. I avoided places where there would be alcohol for a month or so, but can be around it now at events and it doesn't bother me. I used to be one of the last people at the party/wedding or whatever. Ironically, I find that hanging around drunks is quite boring now. Hang in there!
Take it one day at a time and things will get clearer. I avoided places where there would be alcohol for a month or so, but can be around it now at events and it doesn't bother me. I used to be one of the last people at the party/wedding or whatever. Ironically, I find that hanging around drunks is quite boring now. Hang in there!
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