I need some advice/insight
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1
I need some advice/insight
My boyfriend is an (ex) addict, if that's even the right term. He stopped using hard drugs several years ago, (he used for several years DAILY). Now he is drinking a lot. He drinks pretty much every day; unless I have "pointed it out" then he may take a break for a couple of days. Nonetheless, it is mainly in the evenings- he drinks on the way home from work (he will stop at the liquor store to get beer or a small bottle of liquor), he then drinks when he gets home. He mixes Crystal Light packets into straight liquor and drinks it that way-- about two 12 oz glasses.
He does not think this is an issue; he say's "I am an addict, so I am very aware of what I am doing, but I don't miss work, I pay my bills... besides," he says, "plenty of people have drinks after work, does that make them alcoholics?"
When he is drinking he get's obnoxious, doing things that when he is sober he wouldn't normally do. He tends to forget things all of the time. He seems very unhappy if he is not drinking and it's just an observation but I think that he drinks to avoid stressors. Also, the children have pointed out the drinking.
While I know this is not an all inclusive list of what is going on, please give me some insight, and feel free to ask questions for clarification... I just really am not sure how to deal with this anymore. Should I be concerned?
He does not think this is an issue; he say's "I am an addict, so I am very aware of what I am doing, but I don't miss work, I pay my bills... besides," he says, "plenty of people have drinks after work, does that make them alcoholics?"
When he is drinking he get's obnoxious, doing things that when he is sober he wouldn't normally do. He tends to forget things all of the time. He seems very unhappy if he is not drinking and it's just an observation but I think that he drinks to avoid stressors. Also, the children have pointed out the drinking.
While I know this is not an all inclusive list of what is going on, please give me some insight, and feel free to ask questions for clarification... I just really am not sure how to deal with this anymore. Should I be concerned?
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
You're already concerned and please, always trust your instincts! Read the sticky's at the top of the forum page, too.
No matter the name, addiction is dependence plus abuse of a substance or multiple substances, and it is progressive. Please consider Alanon or Naranon for yourself, and do your best to protect your children. They learn what they live.
No matter the name, addiction is dependence plus abuse of a substance or multiple substances, and it is progressive. Please consider Alanon or Naranon for yourself, and do your best to protect your children. They learn what they live.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: southeast
Posts: 111
Wanttolearn......
You should be very concerned. My ah stopped a 5-6 yr heavy opiate addiction to start abusing alcohol. It is just a change of addiction. My ah is also a completely different man when he is drinking. He is agittated, combative, angry, etc... Even when he was abusing opiates, mostly he was just out of it.
My ah recognizes what he is doing. But he is an addict. The more vigilant we together work at keeping alcohol away while he is dealing with this, you would be amazed at how resourceful they can be at getting alcohol.
Brief...we removed all alcohol in the house. He started stopping on the way home from work & getting several drinks. Then we started driving together to/from work. He raided the liquor cabinet of our out of town neighbor we were getting his mail. Our neighbor is now back home.
Last week he had two days of his awful behavior & I could not figure out how he could have been drinking. After an awful middle of the night confrontation, he admitted to drinking hand sanitizer. It is 67-80% alcohol.
I wish this wasn't the case but addicts are resourceful. And the disease is progressive.
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
You should be very concerned. My ah stopped a 5-6 yr heavy opiate addiction to start abusing alcohol. It is just a change of addiction. My ah is also a completely different man when he is drinking. He is agittated, combative, angry, etc... Even when he was abusing opiates, mostly he was just out of it.
My ah recognizes what he is doing. But he is an addict. The more vigilant we together work at keeping alcohol away while he is dealing with this, you would be amazed at how resourceful they can be at getting alcohol.
Brief...we removed all alcohol in the house. He started stopping on the way home from work & getting several drinks. Then we started driving together to/from work. He raided the liquor cabinet of our out of town neighbor we were getting his mail. Our neighbor is now back home.
Last week he had two days of his awful behavior & I could not figure out how he could have been drinking. After an awful middle of the night confrontation, he admitted to drinking hand sanitizer. It is 67-80% alcohol.
I wish this wasn't the case but addicts are resourceful. And the disease is progressive.
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
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