eyemitalian0312

Hello all. In a nutshell, I was at a meeting and there was a guy I have never seen before. He turned to me and asked if I could drive him to a treatment center. I asked where, and he stated it was about 35 miles from where the meeting was. I told him I apologize, but that is not something I can do. He then said he could take the metra train if he could get there. I offered him a ride, even though the station was less than a mile away. He then stated he has no money for fare. I told him I could not help him out with that. He also said before the meeting started, he asked other aa'ers for help because that is what he was told to do. He repeated this statement a few times. I was starting to feel a bit uneasy and pressured by him. I left the meeting before it ended as to not have to deal with this. I am torn here. On the one hand, this guy was right in that he was asking for help to get to treatment. On the other hand, I did not appreciate the pressure I was feeling. On top of this all, I ended up missing a meeting because I did not know what to do. Comments?? I apologize if there are typos, but my blackberry will not let me see everything I have typed.

Dee74

Welcome back

I'm not an AAer but I think we can only be expected to do what we think is reasonable to help someone else...

I know many AAers here who have a policy of not lending/giving out money, especially to strangers....

I think that's pretty sensible myself

D

nandm

I have maintained a strict policy for myself of not giving money to anyone in AA be it a loan or a gift. I do not mind helping someone out with food as I can refer them to a food bank, transportation within limits as gas costs money. I think that the message of AA should be focused on sobriety not being pressured to give money to anyone. I have run into several people who come into AA begging and guilting people for money with the claim they want sobriety when in reality all they wanted was financial assistance. I know my position sounds cold but it has worked for me. I am still sober and the ones I have refused money to have either found sobriety or not as that is their choice. The way I deal with it is just to be honest and tell them that if they want the me to share the message of AA and how I found sobriety then I am glad to help them but I do not have anything else I can offer as far as assistance goes.

guyinyvr

I am kind of with you nandm , I have the ability to give to charities both local and international. Offer food , a ride within reason but money is a poor focus for any alcoholic..almost as bad as a drink for me.....get all the negative stuff going.

I have used lightly the charities locally I contributed to , and their doors are always open to help people out with things like that. I am not sure what is available in eye's area but they should feel no guilt , that person will get to the treatment center if indeed they truly want to be there.

Anna

I'm not in AA but, I think you did what worked for you.

I think you will always run into people, no matter where you are, who will push you beyong your acceptable boundaries.