I realized what kept holding me back
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 118
I realized what kept holding me back
I now realized why I've been struggling for the past year. I hadn't completely done step one yet. I heard in AA that you need to do Step 1 100% and I hadn't because I still held on to the delusional notion that sometime in the future I could still smoke marijuana. I need to finally realize that that is false and it's a lie manufactured by my sick brain. I am an alcoholic. Absolutely no reservations about that. You could also say I am an addict since I have had such a fondness for marijuana and benzos. Now I need to finally move forward and turn my thinking into the care of a power greater than myself, then do a thorough moral inventory, then clean house and make amends for my disgusting behavior. I have a support network, I just hadn't utilized it and that is entirely my fault. I tried "half measures" and they availed me nothing. Egads the book is correct.
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