ForeverKarla

I've been battling and denying an addiction to crystal meth for two years now. I was able to quit for nine months when I was pregnant with my daughter, but shortly after having her, I was back to using again. It's beyond me to why I could stop for her for nine months when I was carrying her, but now having her doesn't seem to be enough to keep me away from it. I hate how I am when I'm ****** up, I disappear for long periods of time without telling anyone where I'm at, or what I'm doing. Luckily, my mother is the one who takes care of my daughter, otherwise I don't even want to think of the terrible things that might have happened if I had been the one solely in charge of taking care of my daughter. I don't want my mother to have the sole control over her anymore though, I want to be the one who does all of the things for her that my mom currently does. In order to do that, I have to find out how to stay away from this plague that's been following me for years, tricking me into believing that all of the problems that were happening because of it, were not actually caused by the drug itself. I never want to touch it again, but I know that as soon as it's readily available for me, I won't be able to say no. This never-ending circle is making me exhausted and I don't want anything to do with it anymore.

iliveforyou

Welcome to SR ForeverKarla, this is a wonderful place full of support and information. I am so glad that you joined us and I hope you stick around.

I am so sorry for the pain you are clearly going thru right now. Although I don't have experience with Meth, I have had various drug addictions over the past 11 years, inlcuding heroin, cocaine, pain pills, etc, etc. Just know that YOU are worth it and your daughter deserves to have her mother back. I am a mother as well, my daughter is 3 1/2...I truly hope you can find the inspiration and strength within yourself to find your recovery. You can do this, it won't be easy but it'll be worth it.

Do you plan on rehab? NA? I'm sure wherever you live, there are resources out there to help you.

Addiction is a very vicious cycle and it's completely exhausting, I know. I wish you luck and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be around.

Good luck to you ((()))

-Jess

doggonecarl

Welcome.

I got addicted to meth in the late 70s. I quit in 1981, but it took an overdose to convince me I should stop. Don't wait to make quitting an "at death's door" decision.

I stayed clean by shunning everyone who used, avoiding the places where I could find the drug. That, and I believe God had another plan for me other than being a paranoid speed freak.

And if you are really committed, seek out some form of recovery. Narcotics Anonymous comes to mind.

Dee74

Hi ForeverKarla

You'll find a lot of support here - and I think the suggestion for NA or some kind of face to face support are good ones

We also have a substance abuse forum you may also want to check out:

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Welcome to SR - best wishes to you and your daughter
D

mikefreak

I lost 1,000 battles in the war against booze & drugs. BUT, I won on the 1,001st. All you have to do is WIN ONCE. Hang in there..............

EmeraldRose

Welcome Karla.

MsCooterBrown

Glad you are here Karla.