dfw

I don't know when I crossed the fine line between being deeply contemplative about my life to out right nihilism and indifference. I don't have the desire to drink, but rather just don't really care about the situations I've been put into.

I think the not caring part is worry some, but maybe for the first time in my life I've given up worrying and this feeling of not worrying about my problems is entirely foreign.

Heck, just writing that last sentence made me feel a lot better. Thanks SR.

artsoul

Hey dfw - I think I've had a hundred different emotional moods since getting sober. :burned ......maybe it's just a matter of getting used to having emotions again. I really don't know, but sometimes when I have a depressed, low-energy feeling I read too much into it and look at everything in life through those lenses. (Anyone who's had PMS can relate I'm sure - for 3 or 4 days life just sucks!) So I wonder if it's a chemical/physical thing and we turn it into a "what's wrong with me" thing.....?

That's just me, but I thought share in case you can relate. I'm getting a little better at accepting those times, giving myself a break instead of thinking I need to be "on" all the time............

I found, like you have, that when I share with everyone how I'm feeling it really does lighten the load. Thanks for your post and hang in there.... the sunshine will come out again!

dfw

I have a session with my therapist tomorrow, so I should just get through today...and then tomorrow will be much better after therapy.

OklaBH

Getting to know ourselves OUR SOBER SELVES can be weird and even scary

dfw

Yeah, I think it's just plain weird-ing me out. And you're right, I am getting to know my sober self...it's a self I haven't known in 6-7 years. I think life is just too short to worry about problems, if you're doing everything you can to be pro-active about your problems, there's really not much more to think about.

Humbled77

DFW- I get overwhelmed too. And that often leads to a feeling of hopelessness. It happened when I was drinking too, but I could wash it away then. Now that isn't so easy. I have been mentally stepping back when I get this feeling, telling myself "I'm not drinking, so that is a start." Then focusing on what is the most important thing I have to do right now. It's a mind trick I guess but it has been working. Once I focus on the task at hand I seem to feel less overwhelmed and like I am inching forward.

EmeraldRose

Sometimes we get into an emotional kink. I get them alot. Especially since I wasn't able to unload my feelings most of my adult life. There were alot of situations where I kept them to myself and let them roll of my back.
I'm finding now that if I start to worry over something...I think it through and let it go. Worrying never solved anything and it certainly doesn't make it better.
I'm feeling alittle antsy today, muhself. A situation in my life has me thinking...trying to think it through and let it go for the day so it doesn't ruin the REST of my day. I don't bring extra baggage to work and I have to get rid of it before 4pm. LOL
I'm sure you are just experiencing a kink and especially after seeing the therapist it will be better. Hang in there...

comanche

Since getting sober there have been times when I've felt really strong and really good about myself, and there have also been times when I've just felt this void, this empty feeling where I kind of look at life and am just like, "Is this all there is to it, really?" I think I used to drink to escape from that feeling a lot because I felt like life always had to have meaning or excitement, but it's not necessarily a bad thing, just something different

thisisforellie

Many times when I start feeling the way you described -- nihilistic, like giving up -- it is because I am having "generalized" thinking. By this I mean, I start thinking that "Nothing matters" or "Everything stinks" or "Everyone is mean-spirited," for example. These generalizations ("everything" "nothing" "everyone") are dangerous for your mood and your overall view of the world, they mess with your reasoning and your empathy, but they are actually just lies. They are false statements. They logistically cannot be true. So if you remember to focus on the particulars of your situation and avoid jumping into large generalizations, sometimes the situation seems less depressing. It also helps to catch this thinking and stop it. You can begin to view the world in a more truthful light that way.

When I generalize, I take the depth out of the world and I feel hopeless. To correct this, I try to look at the many layered, complex aspects of what is actual around me, what is actually happening. This calms me down - if I can stop the 'big' thinking and instead notice the REAL things happening RIGHT NOW, around me: "I am sitting in my chair. I am a little hungry. It is windy outside. My legs feel warm," etc...

Come back to the moment.

Seth84

Very deep comment. Has me really thinking.

SomethingBetter

no energy, no care, nothing, im right there, hangovers didnt seem this bad

i dont understand this at all, i know posting makes me feel better but i just dont have the energy or care to do it, I just took the rest of the day off work, that was my f#% it moment, i'll worry about those concequenses tomorrow, drinking did come to mind but i will stick this sober thing out.

thanks for the thread it hits home for me.

iliveforyou

Oh even though I am early in recovery, most of what I've experienced are many emotional "down's"....most of the time, I am completely empty inside. A black void. Very depressing, but that's me and all I've ever really known.

I think it's normal for everyone in recovery to experience chaos as far as emotions go, as far as I've heard

Hang in there, I'm sure you'll have better days!

-Jess

Dee74

I think a lot of us feel a little lost, maybe even empty at times - I know I did.

My whole life changed in a day, y'know?

If I hadn't have been here @ SR and been encouraged to press on...and encouraged to act, to do stuff to heal that void - at the very times I really didn't want to - I dunno where I'd be today.

If it goes on for too long, or you suspect you might be depressed? Do see a Dr or a counsellor and talk it out

I hope your session is useful and that you feel better dfw

D

michelle01

My moods were all over the place as well, talking it through definitely helped though.

I don't know if you're concerned that the current 'indifference' may lead you to become complacent in recovery. That can be something to watch out for - this thing will try to test you out or trip you up in every way possible.

However, I found that after a few months sober, after previously being a very anxious person, I gave up a lot of the worries that I had. I stopped trying to take on the world's problems and sort everything out. I try to live by the philosophy of one day at a time, recovery and being healthy is the most important goal for me, I have all the basics I need. Many other things you find are a byproduct/bonus of being sober and if they come all and good but I'm not going to sweat over them.

I second Dee on seeking a doctor's advice if you think there may be something more here than the common sobriety symptoms, which tend to be transient. If it's not evening out after time on its own or may be depression, it may warrant medical attention.

dfw

I just got done talking to two friends from college in successive phone conversations. It helped a lot, one knew what was going on and I filled the other in on what was happening. Both were really supportive and we had conversation outside of how I was feeling. I am in a much better mood now and looking forward to tomorrow. Therapy will be wonderful.