When does it get easier?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Luton UK
Posts: 58
When does it get easier?
Hi Folks. Perhaps this is an impossible question, in that there's no generic answer. But I'm now in the evening of Day 8 (evenings are the toughest time for me) and I'm wondering how long before this acute battle feels like it's getting a little easier? I've heard ex-smokers say that they occasionally feel like a cigarette even years after packing up smoking, but most of the time it's not a problem. Does a similar pattern occur in alcohol addiction? Can I look forward to a time when this journey no longer feels like a hideous endurance - a battle of my will over the easier option?
I'm really hoping that this struggle does get easier, even if over different time scales for different people. If not, the future looks pretty scary ...
I'm really hoping that this struggle does get easier, even if over different time scales for different people. If not, the future looks pretty scary ...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 499
I don't have an answer for you. I'm on my fifth month of not drinking. But from what I understand abstaining from drinking is not taking care of the problem, it's just abstainig from drinking.
So..for some reason AA doesn't appeal to me-maybe because I haven't investigated into it much..but I know it will always be a struggle until I take care of whatever it is that makes me want to drink.
So..for some reason AA doesn't appeal to me-maybe because I haven't investigated into it much..but I know it will always be a struggle until I take care of whatever it is that makes me want to drink.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I noticed around four to six months sober that I no longer wanted to drink.
Might have to do with my practicing gratitude every day. Yes, it should get better if you are working on your self in addition to just not drinking. It did for me, anyway.
Might have to do with my practicing gratitude every day. Yes, it should get better if you are working on your self in addition to just not drinking. It did for me, anyway. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,900
At my worst, psychically I was detoxed from alcohol in about 1 or 2 weeks or so. Mentally it took me about 1 month before I started to have some clarity. Emotionally, my mental illness symptoms were raging out of control. After about 2 months I was getting stable. To be emotionally managed and feeling the best I have in years, took about 18 months to 2 years . All that time I was abstinent and focusing on my dual-diagnosis treatments.
My case was complicated with mental illness. I suspect many more people get stabilized and have their mood managed a lot sooner...but you never know
.
My case was complicated with mental illness. I suspect many more people get stabilized and have their mood managed a lot sooner...but you never know
.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
The first couple of weeks for me were all about riding out the cravings and overcoming some of the weird stuff like the mental fog. But for the most part I felt pretty good.
After about a month I went into emotional hell but the desire to drink was completely gone. I felt so crummy that I never wanted to have to go through that emotional withdrawal again. That lasted about a month, then I started to feel better in the 3rd month.
It's been 4 months now and I'm starting to feel a lot better. Not 100% but better.
You just have to hang in there.
After about a month I went into emotional hell but the desire to drink was completely gone. I felt so crummy that I never wanted to have to go through that emotional withdrawal again. That lasted about a month, then I started to feel better in the 3rd month.
It's been 4 months now and I'm starting to feel a lot better. Not 100% but better.
You just have to hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I guess it depends on everyone's different physical/mental makeup. My cravings weren't prevalent. I was at a time in my life where it was time. I soon went to rehab and started AA. The rehab was awesome and besides teaching me tools to remain sober it gave me an idea of why people do what they do or feel what they feel. And one of my problems, how to deal with feelings, because I 'stuffed' them.
Then I had an awakening about my drinking that completely removed all the aspects from my mind. Right now my mind is clear of all thoughts. BUT I have to stay on guard and I know there will be hurdles here and there.
Are you working a program or just not drinking? Generally, from my 30 year career with alcohol merely stopping was not the right answer for me. It wasn't until I started rehab and working a program that I felt that I could completely quit for good.
It does get easier after you haven't drank for a week or so regardless of your program. Getting that booze out of your body will soon give you a clarity and a new idea of how your life should be. Keep going...it only gets better no matter what.
Then I had an awakening about my drinking that completely removed all the aspects from my mind. Right now my mind is clear of all thoughts. BUT I have to stay on guard and I know there will be hurdles here and there.
Are you working a program or just not drinking? Generally, from my 30 year career with alcohol merely stopping was not the right answer for me. It wasn't until I started rehab and working a program that I felt that I could completely quit for good.
It does get easier after you haven't drank for a week or so regardless of your program. Getting that booze out of your body will soon give you a clarity and a new idea of how your life should be. Keep going...it only gets better no matter what.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
I think it's different for everyone, I'm at 12 weeks tomorrow. I don't have much of a problem with cravings anymore but I still have a bad day now and then. I just know that it's just a bad day and tomorrow will be better. I started feeling way better after 60 days and the bad days are really getting far apart now. Hang in there, it is worth it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
If you believe that alcoholism is just a physical problem-- that is, when you drink, you drink too much-- I think you feel better after a couple weeks, but it depends on how much you were drinking.
If you believe, as AA does, that there's also a mental part to the disease-- that we are obsessed with alcohol even after the physical part of withdrawal is over-- the theory goes that you may never feel better if all you do is abstain.
I believe the AA approach, because when I really looked at it, I was plagued by distress, anxiety, fear, restlessness, etc. So even if I've cleaned up and am abstaining from alcohol, I'm still suffering from those ailments. And eventually, I'll drink because I can't deal with them.
That's why the AA approach is to treat the underlying malady that drives alcoholism-- not just the drinking. By doing a moral inventory, understanding our role in our resentments, and making amends to those we had harmed, we started to heal. And we can be relieved of the obsession to drink.
If you believe, as AA does, that there's also a mental part to the disease-- that we are obsessed with alcohol even after the physical part of withdrawal is over-- the theory goes that you may never feel better if all you do is abstain.
I believe the AA approach, because when I really looked at it, I was plagued by distress, anxiety, fear, restlessness, etc. So even if I've cleaned up and am abstaining from alcohol, I'm still suffering from those ailments. And eventually, I'll drink because I can't deal with them.
That's why the AA approach is to treat the underlying malady that drives alcoholism-- not just the drinking. By doing a moral inventory, understanding our role in our resentments, and making amends to those we had harmed, we started to heal. And we can be relieved of the obsession to drink.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
Hi ALAJ
You're right - it's different for everyone.
In many ways giving up drinking was the hardest thing I've ever had to do - I'm not in AA but I absolutely agree with Jay theres a mental compulsion as well and in my experience thats the one that lingered longest...
I'd spent 20 years relying on alcohol for just about everything....and progress was not always linear...some days were worse than others.
But my drinking life was hard going too...and things do get better - noone would stay sober if that wasn't the case.
I was committed to giving sobriety my best shot - I worked hard, and gradually that paid dividends
My first month though was pretty hard graft for me, I have to admit.
D
You're right - it's different for everyone.
In many ways giving up drinking was the hardest thing I've ever had to do - I'm not in AA but I absolutely agree with Jay theres a mental compulsion as well and in my experience thats the one that lingered longest...
I'd spent 20 years relying on alcohol for just about everything....and progress was not always linear...some days were worse than others.
But my drinking life was hard going too...and things do get better - noone would stay sober if that wasn't the case.
I was committed to giving sobriety my best shot - I worked hard, and gradually that paid dividends
My first month though was pretty hard graft for me, I have to admit.
D
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 56
On my fourth day, I'm finding my cravings are much milder than they use to be, even before my 'slip' or whatever you want to call it. I've started working the steps, found someone here to help me with step one. And I'm listening to Joe and Charlie's speaker meetings. That has clarified a lot for me. And going to an AA meeting every day.
Today I had three distinct 'craving' episodes. I was outside for the first one. I came in and plugged in my headphones and listed to Joe and Charlie and it faded away. For the second one I just told myself, 'this is part of being an alcoholic, I'm going to have this odd feeling sometimes" and waited it out. It was gone in a few minutes. The third one was during the meeting tonight. It's odd, but I often have cravings during meetings. Maybe it's the time of evening, I don't know. But they fade very fast. I believe that every day I work the program the cravings will be less and less and that a time will come when they give up and go away. I may always have to beware of them, though. Be prepared for them.
Today I had three distinct 'craving' episodes. I was outside for the first one. I came in and plugged in my headphones and listed to Joe and Charlie and it faded away. For the second one I just told myself, 'this is part of being an alcoholic, I'm going to have this odd feeling sometimes" and waited it out. It was gone in a few minutes. The third one was during the meeting tonight. It's odd, but I often have cravings during meetings. Maybe it's the time of evening, I don't know. But they fade very fast. I believe that every day I work the program the cravings will be less and less and that a time will come when they give up and go away. I may always have to beware of them, though. Be prepared for them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 55
i am on my 35th day right now. i tried to do 30 days of sobriety once before.. and failed every time right around the 7th or 8th day... but now, after 30 days i am so proud of myself for what im doing. dont focus on the future so much. just focus on not drinking for today. take it a day at a time.
i also have kind of a window of time for when i want to drink.. ill really want to, but if i wait it out, like 30 minutes later its not as bad. it doesnt stick around.
hang in there.
i also have kind of a window of time for when i want to drink.. ill really want to, but if i wait it out, like 30 minutes later its not as bad. it doesnt stick around.
hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
It's tough for quite some time. I drank after seven months of sobriety before. I guess it really depends on how far you're willing to go in order to stay sober.
I remember some days after work, I'd have to take an alternate route when driving home, because I knew, I just knew if I drove past certain bars, there would be good chance I'd drink.
You're going to have tough days sober, and tough days drinking. I guess it's all really how you deal with it. And everyone deals with it differently.
That being said, it DOES get easier with time.
I remember some days after work, I'd have to take an alternate route when driving home, because I knew, I just knew if I drove past certain bars, there would be good chance I'd drink.
You're going to have tough days sober, and tough days drinking. I guess it's all really how you deal with it. And everyone deals with it differently.
That being said, it DOES get easier with time.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
ALAJ,
My experience is that it hasn't gotten easier with time. It has actually become much more difficult for me as time went on. I thought that as long as I didn't drink I would be fine. I had learned a lot of information about alcoholism. I thought that as long as I stayed vigilant/on guard against that first drink and exercised my willpower, my drinking problem would be solved. It turns out that not drinking was not the solution. What not drinking meant was that I was continuing to suffer from untreated alcoholism. I felt miserable. Not drinking meant that I had solved the "physical allergy" part of the illness, but that I had done nothing about the "mental obsession" and the underlying "unmanageability" portions of the illness. That being said, I have recently gained some measure of peace as I have begun to work the twelve steps of AA.
Susan
My experience is that it hasn't gotten easier with time. It has actually become much more difficult for me as time went on. I thought that as long as I didn't drink I would be fine. I had learned a lot of information about alcoholism. I thought that as long as I stayed vigilant/on guard against that first drink and exercised my willpower, my drinking problem would be solved. It turns out that not drinking was not the solution. What not drinking meant was that I was continuing to suffer from untreated alcoholism. I felt miserable. Not drinking meant that I had solved the "physical allergy" part of the illness, but that I had done nothing about the "mental obsession" and the underlying "unmanageability" portions of the illness. That being said, I have recently gained some measure of peace as I have begun to work the twelve steps of AA.
Susan
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: dayton, oh
Posts: 487
From what I've learned from my failures and my success is that is gets easy when you choose to live sober, in recovery unique to you. When you know, without a doubt, that drinking is not an option and you would rather die than go back to the physical and mental anguish that was your former self.
Physically, your body will stop sending signals to your brain to drink around six to eight months. It takes awhile for the body to withdrawal.
SH
Physically, your body will stop sending signals to your brain to drink around six to eight months. It takes awhile for the body to withdrawal.
SH
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by susanlauren 
ALAJ,
My experience is that it hasn't gotten easier with time. It has actually become much more difficult for me as time went on. I thought that as long as I didn't drink I would be fine. I had learned a lot of information about alcoholism. I thought that as long as I stayed vigilant/on guard against that first drink and exercised my willpower, my drinking problem would be solved. It turns out that not drinking was not the solution. What not drinking meant was that I was continuing to suffer from untreated alcoholism. I felt miserable. Not drinking meant that I had solved the "physical allergy" part of the illness, but that I had done nothing about the "mental obsession" and the underlying "unmanageability" portions of the illness. That being said, I have recently gained some measure of peace as I have begun to work the twelve steps of AA.
Susan
My experience is that it hasn't gotten easier with time. It has actually become much more difficult for me as time went on. I thought that as long as I didn't drink I would be fine. I had learned a lot of information about alcoholism. I thought that as long as I stayed vigilant/on guard against that first drink and exercised my willpower, my drinking problem would be solved. It turns out that not drinking was not the solution. What not drinking meant was that I was continuing to suffer from untreated alcoholism. I felt miserable. Not drinking meant that I had solved the "physical allergy" part of the illness, but that I had done nothing about the "mental obsession" and the underlying "unmanageability" portions of the illness. That being said, I have recently gained some measure of peace as I have begun to work the twelve steps of AA.
Susan
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
ALAJ,
Whenever I happened to be at a meeting with the topic "powerless over alcohol " or "powerlessness" ........it (eventually) became clear there was absolutely no more need to "struggle"
I guess that's the beauty of hearing 20 or 30 people describe exactly how they got to that point.
One old dude made the analogy of himself, a former amatuer, getting in the ring with a powerful opponent he knew he could never, ever beat. ( say, like Mike Tyson, or Foreman )
Why would "he" get back in the ring with booze, if it had repeatedly whipped his *ss !?!
Talk about some crazy thinking, huh? Like it was magically going to be different THIS TIME AROUND.
Finding a way to just surrender took all the "struggle" out of it for me.
Whenever I happened to be at a meeting with the topic "powerless over alcohol " or "powerlessness" ........it (eventually) became clear there was absolutely no more need to "struggle"
I guess that's the beauty of hearing 20 or 30 people describe exactly how they got to that point.
One old dude made the analogy of himself, a former amatuer, getting in the ring with a powerful opponent he knew he could never, ever beat. ( say, like Mike Tyson, or Foreman )
Why would "he" get back in the ring with booze, if it had repeatedly whipped his *ss !?!
Talk about some crazy thinking, huh? Like it was magically going to be different THIS TIME AROUND.
Finding a way to just surrender took all the "struggle" out of it for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
I found the first few weeks to not be too bad - I was in in-patient treatment from days 11-15 so it was a good jump start.
That being said, I had days that I wanted to crawl out of my skin the first 6 weeks. After about 60 days the physical cravings to booze were gone, in fact, whatever relief I thought it might bring paled in comparison to the pain I knew it would cause - and I didn't want to relive another 60 days like that again.
Change the routine as others have said. Also, I have found the benefits of many herbal teas. As the toxins of alcohol are now out of my system I find that my body is much more sensitive to herbal remedies. Percocet didn't even make me feel differently when drinking, now chammomille tea really helps me sleep.
I think you learn the most in your first 60 days that will help set you up for sober time after that. Each day will get a little better. As others said, focus on not drinking that day hour, or minute. My only goal each day when I wake up is to not drink TODAY. It's worked for 77 days now. My previous record in 20 years was 4 days - when I was in the hospital.
Hang in there- it really does get better!
SPG
That being said, I had days that I wanted to crawl out of my skin the first 6 weeks. After about 60 days the physical cravings to booze were gone, in fact, whatever relief I thought it might bring paled in comparison to the pain I knew it would cause - and I didn't want to relive another 60 days like that again.
Change the routine as others have said. Also, I have found the benefits of many herbal teas. As the toxins of alcohol are now out of my system I find that my body is much more sensitive to herbal remedies. Percocet didn't even make me feel differently when drinking, now chammomille tea really helps me sleep.
I think you learn the most in your first 60 days that will help set you up for sober time after that. Each day will get a little better. As others said, focus on not drinking that day hour, or minute. My only goal each day when I wake up is to not drink TODAY. It's worked for 77 days now. My previous record in 20 years was 4 days - when I was in the hospital.
Hang in there- it really does get better!
SPG
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
I'm sure it's different for everyone, I can only tell you how it works for me and I'm certainly not an example of sobriety, the longest I've ever gone is 6 months, however, after 2 weeks I usally don't feel the pull. I manage to think of other things and I quit dwelling on alcohol. Of course the idea pops up now and again, but it's much easier to put it aside. After 2 weeks I have to concentrate on remembering I'm not cured, that is, remembering that I CANNOT drink moderately. I usually trip up thinking, "ah, it's been so long this means I can certainly have a drink and be fine", that's always untrue for me. So I'm a non-drinker, and will remain so!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Luton UK
Posts: 58
Thank you to everyone who responded. A wide range of views, but with some common themes, and all helpful. I particularly liked reading the most recent post from CaliforniaPoppy. My feelings as I read through each post were largely gratitude that there are folk out there willing to spend the time and effort in helping others; and confidence that things *will* get better over time.
I'm been to an AA meeting, and I can readily see the strong sense of 'fellowship' that accrues from that approach. I intend to go back regularly. I can also understand and accept that I am not able to control my alcohol consumption once I start drinking. I have accepted that this is, sadly, something that I will never overcome now. (As a Brit, the pub is a major part of our culture, and I will miss that: at this stage, I see no point in sitting with a coke or fizzy water in hand just to socialise in that environment. But it will certainly leave a huge hole in my life). The part that I'm really struggling with relates to some aspects of the 12 steps. Perhaps that needs a new post - I should probably read through other posts before whining on here. But in a sentence: I've never done anything stupid while under the influence, I don't believe I've mistreated anyone, I'm still doing a good job as a teacher and (while we all have our foibles and character quirks) I don't think I'm a sh*t. I'm '"just" addicted to alcohol and the feeling of inebriation that it delivers.
So, for the moment, I will take one day at a time with a firm commitment to stay totally alcohol-free, and pray that this struggle will indeed get easier over time.
Thanks again to everyone.
I'm been to an AA meeting, and I can readily see the strong sense of 'fellowship' that accrues from that approach. I intend to go back regularly. I can also understand and accept that I am not able to control my alcohol consumption once I start drinking. I have accepted that this is, sadly, something that I will never overcome now. (As a Brit, the pub is a major part of our culture, and I will miss that: at this stage, I see no point in sitting with a coke or fizzy water in hand just to socialise in that environment. But it will certainly leave a huge hole in my life). The part that I'm really struggling with relates to some aspects of the 12 steps. Perhaps that needs a new post - I should probably read through other posts before whining on here. But in a sentence: I've never done anything stupid while under the influence, I don't believe I've mistreated anyone, I'm still doing a good job as a teacher and (while we all have our foibles and character quirks) I don't think I'm a sh*t. I'm '"just" addicted to alcohol and the feeling of inebriation that it delivers.
So, for the moment, I will take one day at a time with a firm commitment to stay totally alcohol-free, and pray that this struggle will indeed get easier over time.
Thanks again to everyone.
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