Humbling and thought-provoking
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Humbling and thought-provoking
Someone said something to me this week that changed my entire outlook.
It wasn't earthshatteringly different and new.
It was just a word that hit at the perfect time and made all the difference.
But it made me think. A lot. About how sometimes, we feel like we have nothing to contribute, like everyone else has already said everything there is to say. I've felt like that here, many times. I've felt like that at Al-Anon, many times.
But what this lady said to me this week (she used the word "obligation" instead of "responsibility" when talking about letting my AXH face the natural consequences of his actions without my intervention) as well as what someone here wrote this week ("I'm slowly learning that I can feel compassion without acting on it") really changed my week. Gave me a huge big spring forward in my attitude and recovery.
And it reminded me that those times when we feel like everything has been said and that our contribution isn't valuable -- we should remember the times when someone has said something that has made an incredible difference in our life, something that wasn't new or creative or different, something that we had heard 200 times before, but something that, for whatever reason, on this particular day, we were ready to hear in a new way.
Maybe your story, your word, the way you say something, is what is going to make all the difference in someone else's life today.
It wasn't earthshatteringly different and new.
It was just a word that hit at the perfect time and made all the difference.
But it made me think. A lot. About how sometimes, we feel like we have nothing to contribute, like everyone else has already said everything there is to say. I've felt like that here, many times. I've felt like that at Al-Anon, many times.
But what this lady said to me this week (she used the word "obligation" instead of "responsibility" when talking about letting my AXH face the natural consequences of his actions without my intervention) as well as what someone here wrote this week ("I'm slowly learning that I can feel compassion without acting on it") really changed my week. Gave me a huge big spring forward in my attitude and recovery.
And it reminded me that those times when we feel like everything has been said and that our contribution isn't valuable -- we should remember the times when someone has said something that has made an incredible difference in our life, something that wasn't new or creative or different, something that we had heard 200 times before, but something that, for whatever reason, on this particular day, we were ready to hear in a new way.
Maybe your story, your word, the way you say something, is what is going to make all the difference in someone else's life today.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,864
It was just a word that hit at the perfect time and made all the difference.
This is so true, timing is everything. Until we are ready to absorb the wisdom of certain words, we won't. We can hear something that we've heard a dozen times before, but when we are at that magic, unseen point, it will be like hearing it for the first time.
This is so true, timing is everything. Until we are ready to absorb the wisdom of certain words, we won't. We can hear something that we've heard a dozen times before, but when we are at that magic, unseen point, it will be like hearing it for the first time.
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
I know exactly what you mean. Someone at a meeting last night said something about "letting other people have their own truths", and that really struck a chord with me.
This is yet another reason why meetings are so important!
This is yet another reason why meetings are so important!
Originally Posted by lillamy 
Someone said something to me this week that changed my entire outlook.
It wasn't earthshatteringly different and new.
It was just a word that hit at the perfect time and made all the difference.
But it made me think. A lot. About how sometimes, we feel like we have nothing to contribute, like everyone else has already said everything there is to say. I've felt like that here, many times. I've felt like that at Al-Anon, many times.
But what this lady said to me this week (she used the word "obligation" instead of "responsibility" when talking about letting my AXH face the natural consequences of his actions without my intervention) as well as what someone here wrote this week ("I'm slowly learning that I can feel compassion without acting on it") really changed my week. Gave me a huge big spring forward in my attitude and recovery.
And it reminded me that those times when we feel like everything has been said and that our contribution isn't valuable -- we should remember the times when someone has said something that has made an incredible difference in our life, something that wasn't new or creative or different, something that we had heard 200 times before, but something that, for whatever reason, on this particular day, we were ready to hear in a new way.
Maybe your story, your word, the way you say something, is what is going to make all the difference in someone else's life today.
It wasn't earthshatteringly different and new.
It was just a word that hit at the perfect time and made all the difference.
But it made me think. A lot. About how sometimes, we feel like we have nothing to contribute, like everyone else has already said everything there is to say. I've felt like that here, many times. I've felt like that at Al-Anon, many times.
But what this lady said to me this week (she used the word "obligation" instead of "responsibility" when talking about letting my AXH face the natural consequences of his actions without my intervention) as well as what someone here wrote this week ("I'm slowly learning that I can feel compassion without acting on it") really changed my week. Gave me a huge big spring forward in my attitude and recovery.
And it reminded me that those times when we feel like everything has been said and that our contribution isn't valuable -- we should remember the times when someone has said something that has made an incredible difference in our life, something that wasn't new or creative or different, something that we had heard 200 times before, but something that, for whatever reason, on this particular day, we were ready to hear in a new way.
Maybe your story, your word, the way you say something, is what is going to make all the difference in someone else's life today.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Managua, Nicaragua
Posts: 135
I know just what you mean! As I went from lurker, to first time poster and I worked through my relationship, the first advice I got I just wasn't ready for. It was wonderful advice and hindsight is 20/20, but I was not ready or willing to change yet. When I got that same advice later, I was ready to reflect and act.
Thanks!
Thanks!
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
LOL!
I know a lot of what I write here is redundant
the ones I have in mind aren't always the poster so much
as it is for the lurker.
And yes...
I heard a LOT I did not want to hear in early recovery
ha!
who am I kidding?
I hear lots I don't want to hear like... today LOL
But at some point
those words will come back
right when I am ready to 'have' them.
And they have power.
My sponsor got to reading my posts here
and started slipping and calling me 'Barb'
in real life LOL!
I know a lot of what I write here is redundant
the ones I have in mind aren't always the poster so much
as it is for the lurker.
And yes...
I heard a LOT I did not want to hear in early recovery
ha!
who am I kidding?
I hear lots I don't want to hear like... today LOL
But at some point
those words will come back
right when I am ready to 'have' them.
And they have power.
My sponsor got to reading my posts here
and started slipping and calling me 'Barb'
in real life LOL!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Oh...and I meant to add that I ran into an old boyfriend at Lowe's the other day. I hadn't seen him in a good 3 years. He thanked me for encouraging him to go back to college. He said I was a "very smart woman" and told me he wanted to invite me to his graduation in honor of my encouragement. I started to say something like "You did all the work, all I did was say some nice words about how smart I thought you were..." and then realized this guy was paying me a huge compliment so I simply thanked him for his kind words.
It made my day.
And made me realize that we rarely know when we impact others in ways they will never forget. But when we find out - what a great gift!
It made my day.
And made me realize that we rarely know when we impact others in ways they will never forget. But when we find out - what a great gift!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Heh, and I like to fancy myself quick on the uptake.
Maybe it's because I KNOW some Dwyers that it just read "normally" to me, but Barb's name sailed over my head like a bad haircut.
I had close friends growing up named Knauff, and I used to think they should've had a brother named Jack...
Yeah, those lightbulb moments are priceless.
Maybe it's because I KNOW some Dwyers that it just read "normally" to me, but Barb's name sailed over my head like a bad haircut.
I had close friends growing up named Knauff, and I used to think they should've had a brother named Jack...
Yeah, those lightbulb moments are priceless.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
LMAO y'all!
I had a customer named Harry Ness.
he'd been a customer there for thirty years
or more '
(yes, it was a bar)
and no one had put it together... hairyness.
I laughed like heck and nobody could figure out
what I was laughing at.
What mother would do that to her kid? LOL
I had a customer named Harry Ness.
he'd been a customer there for thirty years
or more '
(yes, it was a bar)
and no one had put it together... hairyness.
I laughed like heck and nobody could figure out
what I was laughing at.
What mother would do that to her kid? LOL
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