amarz

First I would like to say hello to all my SR friends that were so much help before I relapsed. Here I go...... So from Feb 2 to March 20 I had quit drinking and felt amazing. I made the poor excuse which I told my self I would not do again and because I lost my job I figured a few drinks would ease the pain because I did not drink for a month n a half I thought, "I thought" it would not be a problem, I was wrong. So it has been over a month of drinking daily and now that I woke up hungover and of course sober I said wait a minute...... it happens to many people so start again! So here I am.... I am here because I AM going to feel the way I was and for the new comers please stay here like I was doing because SR friends/fourms/chat help you and I will explain how amazing I felt and the people around me felt. The first few days of course were the hardest for me but, after that I seen a person that I did not remember at all in a great way. 1...... I was a whole different person. 2. I realized that all the negative was not from others but from my drinking. 3. Everyone was smiling and happy to be around me. 4. I enjoyed being in the light, yes when I drink I always like my room dark. 5. My family seen a whole different person that they amazed me which I had no idea with drinking the person I was and without drinking I am. 6. All the paranoia and accusations to everyone were gone it was all the drinking. I can keep going on with all the amazing great things that happened in a month n a half with loosing 20 pounds from not drinking etc....... but I relapsed. So I am on day 1 and looking forward to the real me again that I seen and others saw which was the real ME without the drinking. So I am not happy I relapsed but I am in a way because now that I sat down and thought to myself..... look at that month n a half and look at this month I relapsed and boyyyy what a difference I see. All the good, feeling, looks, color, attitude, paranoia.... was gone from this one ugly thing.... drinking! So now that I witnessed it meaning, how great I felt and how I feel now I want the sober back!!! I will not look at it in a bad way but a good lesson in how I looked, felt, everything and start from day one. So all you new comers please it is not the end of the world when you relapse but when you are sober for even 2 weeks you will see the amazing person you are just like I did. So if you do relapse look at all the positive when you were sober and all the negative when you drink and you will be shocked So day 1 for me I want the person than I can truly say from my heart back. And please newcomers I was here everyday the time I wanted to drink and everyone here helped me and here is where I messed up..... I stop coming to this site everyday like I am suppose to meaning I was sober so I thought okay I am busy and I will go on every few days, once a week..... WRONG! Everyday you need to come because SR frineds are youre backbone even when youre sober to keep it that way. Sorry to my SR friends for not being here everyday when I was sober. I understand now that I seen the great without drinking and the relapse I need you all sober also and I will stay this time being sober. All I had to do is come on here which I enjoyd and I honestly can say I dont think I would be writnng this if I had. DAY 1

Belier

Thank you so much for your heartfelt post. I am so pleased you are back on track and it is so important for newcomers. I have lately been going over the way I felt when I used to drink and they way I feel now. It is 4 months for me and everything is a 180, some down days, but wow when I think of what it was like it is such a contrast, I also used to always have the house dark, now the blinds are open. I look forward to hearing from you. I still come here to SR every day for at least 1 hour, it is very grounding and keeps me focussed otherwise it is easy to think I could be just a normal drinker, and I know deep down I can not. Thanks again for your post.

Dee74

Hi amarz

I agree with you it's important to keep working on your recovery and not take it for granted.

I also think that if we do falter we have to look at why what we were doing wasn't enough for us, and we need to look at what we can add now.

If SR alone is not enough, I really recommend you (or anyone in the same situation) look at other things like AA or another recovery group, or some counselling or even some kind of rehab as options.

We will get out of our recovery what we put into it.
What ever you choose to do, work it to the hilt

D

SomethingBetter

im glad to see you not giving up, good for you!