TOPIC: Past Present Future Weddings Before During After Recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
TOPIC: Past Present Future Weddings Before During After Recovery
Hi. Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
What is so amazing about being in recovery
is that you can soberly return to your marriage
or marriages in your mind that occurred in the
past and either appreciate it or make changes
for a stronger happier one for the present or
future one.
My first marriage was in 1982 where all I wanted
was to be married and be a stay at home mom.
As I look back at that time in my life, I was 20ish
and in the early stages of my alcoholism which I
was unaware of. We also had the whole Catholic
wedding ceremony , Disney Honeymoon package
all with a huge hangeover.
Within my 25 yrs of marriage my husband and I raised
2 awesome talented kids whom I am so grateful of
for their huge accompliments. They are grown mature
well adjusted happy adults living with no signs of
addiction.
However, within the 25 yrs. the first 8 yrs was my drinking
and the remainder was sober after entering AA thru family
intervention. I continued on my journey changing emotionally,
mentally, physically, spiritual as I learned to live life without
drinking.
Eventually the marriage ended for a number of reasons
mainly cause I grew one way with the help of recovery
while the rest of the family grew normally in a different
direction. Our marriage was already off balance from the
beginning and it never balanced out.
Today I dont regret the past yet use what I learned to live
upon and learn from in my now second marriage which is
nothing short of one of my HP's awesome gifts recieved
gratefully in sobriety.
I am 52 yrs. old, 20 yrs sober and living a life happier, freer,
honest, loving, caring, supportive, understanding wife in my
present marriage for 2 yrs now after riding our Road King to
the Justice of the Peace where 2 friends from our BR Harley
Store stood in for us to witness that simple yet meaningful
ceremony. That night we road off to get our first tattoos together
as our honeymoon.
Life this second go round is one I always dreamt of and now
Im living it in recovery.
Sharing your experiences of your marriages before during and after
recovery may inspire someone to make changes that will better
their relationship now or in the future.
What is so amazing about being in recovery
is that you can soberly return to your marriage
or marriages in your mind that occurred in the
past and either appreciate it or make changes
for a stronger happier one for the present or
future one.
My first marriage was in 1982 where all I wanted
was to be married and be a stay at home mom.
As I look back at that time in my life, I was 20ish
and in the early stages of my alcoholism which I
was unaware of. We also had the whole Catholic
wedding ceremony , Disney Honeymoon package
all with a huge hangeover.
Within my 25 yrs of marriage my husband and I raised
2 awesome talented kids whom I am so grateful of
for their huge accompliments. They are grown mature
well adjusted happy adults living with no signs of
addiction.
However, within the 25 yrs. the first 8 yrs was my drinking
and the remainder was sober after entering AA thru family
intervention. I continued on my journey changing emotionally,
mentally, physically, spiritual as I learned to live life without
drinking.
Eventually the marriage ended for a number of reasons
mainly cause I grew one way with the help of recovery
while the rest of the family grew normally in a different
direction. Our marriage was already off balance from the
beginning and it never balanced out.
Today I dont regret the past yet use what I learned to live
upon and learn from in my now second marriage which is
nothing short of one of my HP's awesome gifts recieved
gratefully in sobriety.
I am 52 yrs. old, 20 yrs sober and living a life happier, freer,
honest, loving, caring, supportive, understanding wife in my
present marriage for 2 yrs now after riding our Road King to
the Justice of the Peace where 2 friends from our BR Harley
Store stood in for us to witness that simple yet meaningful
ceremony. That night we road off to get our first tattoos together
as our honeymoon.
Life this second go round is one I always dreamt of and now
Im living it in recovery.
Sharing your experiences of your marriages before during and after
recovery may inspire someone to make changes that will better
their relationship now or in the future.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Beautiful Sharon.
I, too, have had two marriages. The first one ended up as an emotional mentally abusive marriage but I did come away with 3 wonderful children. My second, saved me from the wreckage, and hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have jumped in the boat so fast.
But in any case, it was a nice secure marraige and I was able to live as I pleased. We separated last August and I am at a point in my life where I am indeed grateful for these experiences but am learning to be the person I was meant to be...recovery made me even stronger and my family support is awesome. I will be very careful in which frog I kiss next time.
I, too, have had two marriages. The first one ended up as an emotional mentally abusive marriage but I did come away with 3 wonderful children. My second, saved me from the wreckage, and hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have jumped in the boat so fast.
But in any case, it was a nice secure marraige and I was able to live as I pleased. We separated last August and I am at a point in my life where I am indeed grateful for these experiences but am learning to be the person I was meant to be...recovery made me even stronger and my family support is awesome. I will be very careful in which frog I kiss next time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Thank you EmeraldRose. 
We do hope to learn from past mistakes to make
better choices for the future. And with a recovery
program to guide us along the way and a faith in
Something greater to comfort and strengthen us,
then we are better minded to hopefully make those
better choices.
For so long I knew i was miserable in my first marriage,
maybe because I wanted what I wanted and got what
I got. I dont think my HP gave me a wrong choice in the
man I married because he was the stronger one to hold
it together with the knowledge he had. Educated Engineer
kind, caring supportive and so on, however neither one
of us was without fault. Not perfect. We did the best we
could with what we had at that time in our lives.
I think he needed something I couldnt give him and visa
versa. Or we needed more quality added instead of quanity.
I know we both took something positive from the marriage
and moved on because we are both stronger for it.
After we split I wasnt looking for a new relationship or anything
serious. However my HP Above all knew and knows my every
situation and had a plan for me already in motion. All I had to do
was remain faithful and all would be taken care of in His time.
While continueing to go to my meetings, working a new job, I
was led to a new meeting Sept. 22, 2007 one that I had not
been to before and it was there that I met a new friend who
was at that meeting also for the first time that would eventually
become my new husband. We courted for awhile and as we sat
on a glider at his home one afternoon, I told him that I would and
could feel comfortable living there with him. And that I wanted to
make his home my last stop in life.
Of course with both of us in recovery we knew that everything
would be done as long as our HP guided us in the direction He
would want us to. Sure enough on February 14th 2009 Valentines
Day we tied the knott.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would meet someone
who treats me like a "princess" as he calls me. We both do every
thing together and enjoy each others company. Simple as just
sitting in the back yard watch the millions of birds we feed. It's
like a airport with plains coming and going. Zooming in and out.
We enjoy traveling on our Harley together. Taking trips. We have
the same interest which is cool. Just everything in a nut shell.
Before i use to go to bed alone with out my spouse. Now my husband and I cant wait to snuggle together. Hold hands. Just the little simple pleasant easy things shared together. It still amazes me this moment as I write here about our marriage.
I hope you find the happiness in a new relationship or marriage
down the road to add to your own recovery. A gift that is so rewarding.
We do hope to learn from past mistakes to make
better choices for the future. And with a recovery
program to guide us along the way and a faith in
Something greater to comfort and strengthen us,
then we are better minded to hopefully make those
better choices.
For so long I knew i was miserable in my first marriage,
maybe because I wanted what I wanted and got what
I got. I dont think my HP gave me a wrong choice in the
man I married because he was the stronger one to hold
it together with the knowledge he had. Educated Engineer
kind, caring supportive and so on, however neither one
of us was without fault. Not perfect. We did the best we
could with what we had at that time in our lives.
I think he needed something I couldnt give him and visa
versa. Or we needed more quality added instead of quanity.
I know we both took something positive from the marriage
and moved on because we are both stronger for it.
After we split I wasnt looking for a new relationship or anything
serious. However my HP Above all knew and knows my every
situation and had a plan for me already in motion. All I had to do
was remain faithful and all would be taken care of in His time.
While continueing to go to my meetings, working a new job, I
was led to a new meeting Sept. 22, 2007 one that I had not
been to before and it was there that I met a new friend who
was at that meeting also for the first time that would eventually
become my new husband. We courted for awhile and as we sat
on a glider at his home one afternoon, I told him that I would and
could feel comfortable living there with him. And that I wanted to
make his home my last stop in life.
Of course with both of us in recovery we knew that everything
would be done as long as our HP guided us in the direction He
would want us to. Sure enough on February 14th 2009 Valentines
Day we tied the knott.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would meet someone
who treats me like a "princess" as he calls me. We both do every
thing together and enjoy each others company. Simple as just
sitting in the back yard watch the millions of birds we feed. It's
like a airport with plains coming and going. Zooming in and out.
We enjoy traveling on our Harley together. Taking trips. We have
the same interest which is cool. Just everything in a nut shell.
Before i use to go to bed alone with out my spouse. Now my husband and I cant wait to snuggle together. Hold hands. Just the little simple pleasant easy things shared together. It still amazes me this moment as I write here about our marriage.
I hope you find the happiness in a new relationship or marriage
down the road to add to your own recovery. A gift that is so rewarding.
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