hoping2quit

I gotta feeling.... that todays gonna be a good day! Another person on day 7 mentioned that crossing the bridge when we get there (possible moderate drinking) and it hit me to think is it possible? After say 5-6 months of no drinking can someone build up enough will power to have those 2 drinks and quit? has anyone that has been sober a while been able to do it or know someone that has. i mean is it possible that we can discipline our minds to stay truthful of knowing we can't cross the line or thresh hold of what got us here in the first place? I have no desire to drink right now but I think I have read a few post of people who have become sober that are able to social drink maybe twice weekly and keep it that way. What I have going for me is I have a loving family, great friends, great job. And just about everyone of my friends are social drinkers, a few and then done. Could I be like that one day? Everything that I have really tried for 110% in my life I have accomplished. I put my mind to something it gets done. I think the weakness that came over me when I started drinking daily was not caring. I mean I wasn't depressed and still not depressed, I just loved the feeling of the buzz, which my body tolerated and then needed more to get that same buzz. I never got anxiety unless i drank caffeine. Anyway I hope I'm not sounding like I'm trying to justify that if i drink again its ok but that if i get to a point where i have the ability to be that social drinker, am i going to feel guilty because i made that promise to stop entirely? Just trying to be honest. thank you

Missy7

Hey there. Congratulations on Day 7.

I love your question. I ask it all the time. I am sure I will test it again and again.

You know why?

Because I'm an alcoholic. If I wasn't, I wouldn't keep wondering why I can't drink. I just wouldn't. People who are normal drinkers don't have to ask themselves this question.

Tell you what--let's neither one of us take that risk.

If we can get normal enough to have only a couple of drinks, then we can get normal enough to NOT drink.

Happy Tuesday my Sober Friend!

Supercrew

I tried to be a social drinker for years, but always ended up getting drunk, and I too have a great family, friends, career, and most everything I put my mind to gets done....except the moderate drinking thing.

I could never be a moderate drinker, because for 27 years I drank to get drunk, moderation didn't accomplish that, so I don't see the purpose in drinking at all now.

I wish you luck if that's what you are trying to accomplish.

Dee74

I spent twenty years trying to be that 'one or two on a Friday night/life of the party drinker', when I was actually a 'drink everything I can to get wasted as often as I can, embarrass myself, tick people off, and pass out' kind of drinker.

I don't know you or your story very well hoping2, but just please don't waste 20 years like I did, kidding yourself you can be something you're not.

D

newwings

Hi Quit Buddy, glad day 7 is going well for you. Interested to see your thought processes on written down. Don't forget, you are talking to people who have a deeper insight into YOU right now than most other people in your life. I've spent time projecting into the future and wondering the very same thing...

Let me tell you one thing I found. Last November, I quit for about 6 weeks. It was an agreement between my doctor and I after an 'incident' - will share in time but it's irrelevant to this conversation. Anyhow, the deal was I would quit for a month to see how I felt, physically and mentally. Well, I can say it was great. Fantastic. No withdrawals as such, bounced right back, felt great. My relationship with my husband improved, as well as many areas in my life.

Fast forward to a birthday vacation organized by my girlfriends for a wine tasting weekend. We live near Napa, CA, so it's pretty much up the road from me. It had been organized and paid for so I felt pushed into going, despite my resolution to stay sober. It coincided with the last day I had agreed to stay sober with my doctor. I stayed strong for 7 hours...and then cracked, and had less than 1/2 inch of a glass - a tasting sample. I didn't go crazy that weekend, but it was the catalyst I needed to begin my downward spiral.

Fast forward again to April, which as you know, nearly finished me off.

Some people can moderate. I can't. Neither can most people on this site. I feel, by abusing alcohol in the way that I did, that I have forfeited my CHOICE and RIGHT to drink. I know without doubt, that fist sip will be my downfall. Job done.

Of course, it's up to you, and it's a reasonable question to ask. But I would suggest now, that you asked it, you put it to one side, especially since it's so early. Best wishes!!!

hoping2quit

Thanks guys, I can also look at it like that CFP, Why have those 2 in the first place right? Is it for status? Or "what are they going to think of me if I'm not drinking". Its funny when I would social drink, that people would keep tabs of not having enough to drink but would not care when I drank 10. I truly believe I will not be able to be that "social" drinker. I can't have 2, as soon as that little tingle comes. its on! The only time I have ever drank 2 is when I had a cold, or made a promise to the person i was with to be the des driver. Other than that there was no reason for me to quit. I can truly understand the motto "one day at a time" because if I'm sitting here thinking of the future and where I will be in 6 months, have I alreadyjustified that it will be ok to drink then? I feel great right now and I know I'm not drinking today so that is a start. Im here, I have a problem , and I'm an alcoholic so when questions come up I just like to here others response and experiences becuase it allows me to inspect myself and the way I'm thinking. Have a great evening! Luck 7's are working on big 8's!

Fandy

trying to moderate my drinking is mentally exhausting....i wrote about it in another thread.

believe me, i have tried so many tricks to drink like someone who doesn't have a problem I could have written a handbook.....there is no foolproof system or method.

I'll stick to Perrier or seltzer and thank myself in the AM, stay clear-minded and thinner too...I can drive anytime I want to without a worry.

hoping2quit

I have actually lost 2 pounds! Love waking up with that clear mind and a head start on the day. I actually worked out this morning it felt awesome! You guys are great and i really appreciate everyones insight and hope we can all stick together.

Fandy

join us on the gratitude threads....it helps me immensely.

Ranger

Like donkey kong, my Friend.

I follow an alternative step program to AA but attend the occasional AA meeting when I start feeling too "normal". I need regular fellowship with other alcoholics. God help me if I ever forget I have this disease.

Missy7

My sister, a member of AA for 35 years and I talked today. I told her for the first time that I was in a sobriety group. We talked for a long time. I learned a lot and she used the language I've heard on here but haven't really heard her use in the past. One thing she said that was interesting to me:

Alcoholism is a disease that tells you it is not a disease.

This is SO true. That's why we say, maybe I can do it. Maybe I'm not really an alcoholic. I have heard that alcoholics can NEVER drink, but that can't mean me.

A disease that says it is not a disease. Every time.

I also read a website just before finding this one a few weeks ago. It said that someone trying to quite should tell people when asked: 'I never drink.' Now I believe that what we say becomes true. So I've been saying that to myself. If I feel like a drink, I say 'I never drink.' The result is that in the past three weeks I've only been hung over twice. That admits one relapse but it's not constant.

reggiewayne

Dee has the best quotes. That sums me up perfectly. My take is if we were capable of "just having two" at some points in our lives, wouldn't we have done it already - at least once? I can honestly say, I've never, ever, never ever had two beers. It's like being 'kinda pregnant". It's not possible for me.

artsoul

Did you ever feel happy and content with just one or two drinks and not want another? Like really, be free to have it, but NOT want it? Just would rather have some water or a coke?

For me it was possible to control my drinking once in a while, but controlling my desire for another one is something I've never been able to do.

Some great responses on this thread - thanks for starting it!

hoping2quit

Really appreciate all the comments. I know some who have been sober for a while get the new people who start to feel confident to early and have these questions. Last night my wife and I went to a farewell gathering for some friends and everyone was drinking of course but didn't phase me. The place had a kids play area so I played with my little one going back and forth to talk to our friends. When we left and walking back to the car I asked her so what do you think about having a few drinks after you have the baby? She said "I really don't need to drink so if it is something you want to do and not drink we can do it together" I was blown away and also relieved! I know in the past her and her mom like to sit on the patio and sip some wine and I would feel guilty and selfish to keep those moments away from her so I said you know you can have your wine and I will have my smoothies! Thanks again for understanding everyone and day 8 is GREAT!

IrishEyes88

For me, moderated drinking hasn't worked. I'm on day 2 and I still have that hope of someday being a normal drinker. I just don't think that's in the stars for me.

Sometimes I'll go to the store and get a bottle of rum and I'll say to myself, I'll just have a little and save the rest.... And I'll actually believe it! After that it's like on TV when the scene cuts and it's instantly the next day; nearly the whole bottle's gone, I have no idea what happened and i feel like I was hit by a truck.

Happens every time! If I can ever drink normally it will be a loooong time from now. I'd have to be in a totally new state of mind.