Relapse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: VA
Posts: 20
Relapse
I cracked, made it about 3 days sober got mad and drank a lot. I was hanging out with some friends and thought I could drink one beer and it wouldn't hurt. I was wrong, the experiment failed. Started drinking relatively early today at a friends easter party, controlled myself while I was there, just not when I got back home. In the three days that I was sober, the first day was the worst with uncontrollable rage and the shakes, 2nd day i couldn't sleep, third day no physical symptoms but I couldn't be happy or find any reason to stay sober. I'm starting back up tomorrow. How did you fine people deal with the anger and resentment of not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi John!
Sorry for your difficulty. For me I had to change the whole way I looked at alcohol...I had to see it completely, as the poison it was. And I had to learn to love myself enough not to poison myself. It took a lot of work to get there and once there I realized I could have made it a lot easier on myself by realizing that a long time ago.
Hugs, LaFemme
Sorry for your difficulty. For me I had to change the whole way I looked at alcohol...I had to see it completely, as the poison it was. And I had to learn to love myself enough not to poison myself. It took a lot of work to get there and once there I realized I could have made it a lot easier on myself by realizing that a long time ago.
Hugs, LaFemme
Wombling Free
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Thailand
Posts: 60
Hi John,
I feel your pain man I really do. This is just the start of DAY 3 for me after a five month binge, what am I doing differently? I'm spending hours on-line researching my problem, going into chat rooms, here and on SMART Recovery, using their worksheets and not putting myself in harms way. Yes I too am angry that I can't drink, but I have to look forward not back, I had many happy days drinking, but I have known sobriety before. It's not all good, and its not all bad, same as my drinking, do I miss it after 2 days, no, (then again I am writing this at 6am in the morning, a time I would never think about a drink) but sure as eggs are eggs I know it will be 4pm later today and I will get the cravings and my head will be telling me I'm not an alcoholc otherwise I could not have got 2 days of sobriety, so I have to work on my thinking to ensure I am ready for the fight ahead.
So what works for me is to be constantly working on my thinking, I am in control ,not my disease.
I wish you well for Day 1
Womble
I feel your pain man I really do. This is just the start of DAY 3 for me after a five month binge, what am I doing differently? I'm spending hours on-line researching my problem, going into chat rooms, here and on SMART Recovery, using their worksheets and not putting myself in harms way. Yes I too am angry that I can't drink, but I have to look forward not back, I had many happy days drinking, but I have known sobriety before. It's not all good, and its not all bad, same as my drinking, do I miss it after 2 days, no, (then again I am writing this at 6am in the morning, a time I would never think about a drink) but sure as eggs are eggs I know it will be 4pm later today and I will get the cravings and my head will be telling me I'm not an alcoholc otherwise I could not have got 2 days of sobriety, so I have to work on my thinking to ensure I am ready for the fight ahead.
So what works for me is to be constantly working on my thinking, I am in control ,not my disease.
I wish you well for Day 1
Womble
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
I'm sorry that you relapsed. Try to be patient with yourself. It's going to take more than 3 days before you start to feel better. But, know that you can get through this. Have you made changes in your life besides stopping drinking?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, John.
I've been there, several times. I can also relate to the experiences posted above. Like Womble, I had to make recovery a full-time project, spending a ton of researching online and reading what folks have to say here. And just like LaFemme, I came to the realization that alcohol caused me a huge amount of stress and despair (it was only the addiction that made me think it was a solution). That made it a lot easier to accept that I can never drink again. Not just accept it, but embrace it.
Not that everything's sunshine and roses. I'm actually having a rough day today. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that drinking will just make it worse. I'm grateful for that, and a little gratitude goes a long way.
Hope you get right back on the wagon. Coming here is always a smart move, in my experience.
I've been there, several times. I can also relate to the experiences posted above. Like Womble, I had to make recovery a full-time project, spending a ton of researching online and reading what folks have to say here. And just like LaFemme, I came to the realization that alcohol caused me a huge amount of stress and despair (it was only the addiction that made me think it was a solution). That made it a lot easier to accept that I can never drink again. Not just accept it, but embrace it.
Not that everything's sunshine and roses. I'm actually having a rough day today. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that drinking will just make it worse. I'm grateful for that, and a little gratitude goes a long way.
Hope you get right back on the wagon. Coming here is always a smart move, in my experience.
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
I have to keep an eye on what I want. I want to make solid choices that won't ruin my or someone elses lives. I want to be able to stay out of jail, I want to give myself a shot at being healthy. I am willing to sacrifice today for a chance for all that. Drinking just adds to that problem. Today I thought about drinking because I just feel bad, well after I am done drinking I will feel bad and relapse to deal with. I can make it until my mood changes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
I've relapsed and its no joke. The day after: anguish, dePression, guilt, shaking, sweating etc... I hate feeling that way so I took xtra steps Besides AA. Reach out. We all can use a life line
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Sorry for everyone who relapsed.
The day I finally accepted that, fair or not, I was different to everyone else was a milestone for me.
I realised that if I wanted to be all I could be, and have the kind of life I deserved...I simply couldn't drink.
As time's gone on, I see how small that sacrifice really is
Don't give up - just think about what you need to add to what you've been doing
D
The day I finally accepted that, fair or not, I was different to everyone else was a milestone for me.
I realised that if I wanted to be all I could be, and have the kind of life I deserved...I simply couldn't drink.
As time's gone on, I see how small that sacrifice really is
Don't give up - just think about what you need to add to what you've been doing
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Alcoholism is a disease of insanity that loves it when we believe our willpower is going to get us through. Then it's got us right where it wants us.
The truth is, we are unable to really know how much trouble we are in, or how hopeless our situation is.
So when we reapply ourselves to the same things that didn't work for us before, we are doubly disappointed.
Surrender is the only thing that worked for me-- realizing I was done. I stopped trying not to drink and started trying to find a power that could relieve me of the problem. It was a route I had avoided like the plague, until it was the only route left to me.
The truth is, we are unable to really know how much trouble we are in, or how hopeless our situation is.
So when we reapply ourselves to the same things that didn't work for us before, we are doubly disappointed.
Surrender is the only thing that worked for me-- realizing I was done. I stopped trying not to drink and started trying to find a power that could relieve me of the problem. It was a route I had avoided like the plague, until it was the only route left to me.
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