meredithd

This is a very long story but I'll try to keep it simple.My brother is 31 and has 5 kids 2 live with their moms and the other 3 were just taken away from their mom and are now living with him at my moms apartment.The problem is that her place is way to small for all of them (she has a roommate also) and since he is a prescription drug abuser and she is an enabler I just see this situation getting worse and not better, I am OK with the adults having to deal with their own consequences but I am having a lot of difficulty with the kids being stuck in this I have been sick over this and feel so helpless I am so scared for the kids.My home life is very different, my husband works and I stay home during the week and have a per diem job on weekends we have two boys ages 13 and 7 and we are a very stable structured family and at times I feel so guilty for that because I want the same for him and his kids but I can't make him make the right choices to ever get there and unfortunately I don't have the room in my home to take his kids if they were to get taken from him, I'm afraid this whole situation is just going to swallow me up I don't want to jeopardize my marriage and stability for my kids I just don't know how to help.Anyone else had to deal with a similar situation and if so what did you do?

Babyblue

Scared for their safety? Or just because of the chaos around them in the home? Assuming they aren't in danger, any time you can spend with them outside of the apartment will really help them. They don't have to live with you but taking them to the park, shopping, etc will go a long way. Being around positive adults, even if it is just for outtings, has a huge impact on kids like them.

If all the other adults in their lives are not consistent, then your presence can be a really good thing because your life is stable and calm.

Buffalo66

I second babyblue.

I grew up in a chaotic home. I had an aunt who was sane, stable, and sober.

She used to take my sisters and I to the mall. Those were some of my best memories, and I still have her in my life to this day.

It DOES go a long way!

MeredithD1

Hello MeredithD from MeredithD1 on the opposite coast (Oregon)

I grew up in danger. I was always grateful for any adult who would give me a break from that. I'm sure your nieces/nephews would be grateful to be included any time you can include them. Children are so intelligent - they will know that you care, and it will help them.

meredithd

Thanks so much everyone, that is exactly what I am doing I just feel like I can't do enough.They are great kids and I just want them to have the best chance to break this cycle.Figuring out how to help the kids without enabling the adults is hard.

fourmaggie

Al ANON can help...look up one and go....