finally ....peace with myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nsb,fl
Posts: 10
finally ....peace with myself
clean n sober since july,7,2010 and i feel good ive been noticing my disease trying to creep back up on me the other day for some reason i kept thinking about getting high.... i mean even things i never cared for not just about my drug of choice..meth... but i was thinking about maybe a pill,n then my brain said well maybe a beer i kept pushing the thoughts out and eventually they went away but it was really weird after all this time.....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
Welcome! My experience with using drugs was the better part of my life...from age 12 to age 40. 9 months into my recovery did not seem like "after all this time" to me.
Our program (NA) mentions to "give ourselves a break". For me, 9 months was indeed a break. Thank goodness I got a sponsor and worked the steps! It's simply not natural for us addicts to never think of using, especially early in our recovery. I do understand that it seems "really wierd" when using doesn't come after thinking it!
It's the right thing to do to admit these thoughts and expose them for what they are. Congratulations!
This disease of addiction dies in the light of exposure.
If I may suggest that next time you get such thoughts, call another recovering addict and tell them about it...and then come here and tell us how quickly the thoughts went away. The quicker you call...the quicker they go away.
Do you have numbers of other recovering addicts to call?
Peace,
Missy
Our program (NA) mentions to "give ourselves a break". For me, 9 months was indeed a break. Thank goodness I got a sponsor and worked the steps! It's simply not natural for us addicts to never think of using, especially early in our recovery. I do understand that it seems "really wierd" when using doesn't come after thinking it!
It's the right thing to do to admit these thoughts and expose them for what they are. Congratulations!
This disease of addiction dies in the light of exposure.
If I may suggest that next time you get such thoughts, call another recovering addict and tell them about it...and then come here and tell us how quickly the thoughts went away. The quicker you call...the quicker they go away.
Do you have numbers of other recovering addicts to call?
Peace,
Missy
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
It's the right thing to do to admit these thoughts and expose them for what they are.
Every blue moon I have thoughts of using as well, but they're just thoughts or memories. I know I don't have to act on them and I never have to use again.
Thanks for sharing.
G
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nsb,fl
Posts: 10
yea i have numbers and i call people...if nobody answers i spill my guts to a answering machine and get myself busy i know i got a long road ahead of me ...but i also know ....im sober for today and i thank god for that....thanks for ur input
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
Originally Posted by LuvInDaisy 
May I suggest reading the 12 traditions.
I'm not working the 12 steps. It's not killing me. I'm not miserable.
I didn't used today. I don't have a desire to go use. I don't belive in GOD.
My life isn't a mess or filled with truama or chaos. I don't have controll issues.lol
I'm not working the 12 steps. It's not killing me. I'm not miserable.
I didn't used today. I don't have a desire to go use. I don't belive in GOD.
My life isn't a mess or filled with truama or chaos. I don't have controll issues.lol
Please share what works for you. We use this forum to discuss steps and our experiences as we go. Others will want to know what you do so they can consider it for themselves.
Have you been clean for a while?
Peace,
Missy
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
May I suggest reading the 12 traditions.
I'm not working the 12 steps. It's not killing me. I'm not miserable.
I didn't used today. I don't have a desire to go use. I don't belive in GOD.
My life isn't a mess or filled with truama or chaos. I don't have controll issues.lol
I didn't used today. I don't have a desire to go use. I don't belive in GOD.
My life isn't a mess or filled with truama or chaos. I don't have controll issues.lol
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Originally Posted by LuvInDaisy
The 12 traditions give you salutions. Living principles to practice and apply in your life.
The 12 traditions also give you salutions for working with other addicts and other people in general.
The 12 traditions also protect the group and recovering addicts from control freaks.
The 12 traditions also give you salutions for working with other addicts and other people in general.
The 12 traditions also protect the group and recovering addicts from control freaks.
The program of Narcotics Anonymous (which is the 12 Steps) offers it's members the solution to their ultimate problem - themselves. The 12 Steps contain spiritual principles that are written so simply that we can follow them in our daily lives...and we practice them in all of our affairs (as our 12th Step states). Because spiritual principles are never in conflict with one another, when we live the program we find that they generally overlap or co-exist. Simply put, we don't practice one principle without practicing many others at the same time. So when we talk about practicing the principles in all our affairs it's important to remember that NA tells us that we must first learn to practice these principles in our personal lives before we attempt to apply them in our service efforts...which is what the 12 Traditions are basically about (fellowship unity and service).
"To practice the principles of recovery in all our affairs is what we strive for. Both in and out of meetings, no matter who is involved, no matter how difficult it may seem, we make the principles of recovery the guides by which we live." ~ IWH&W, page 122
When you read the 12 traditions, you're learning about something new?
When you learn something new, it opens your mind. Plus you're not focus
on getting high? When you practice and apply something new in your life, you're
not doing the samething over and ove again? When you stopped doing
the samething over and ove again, you're making changes in your life?
Recovery is about changing?
See how simple that is?
When you learn something new, it opens your mind. Plus you're not focus
on getting high? When you practice and apply something new in your life, you're
not doing the samething over and ove again? When you stopped doing
the samething over and ove again, you're making changes in your life?
Recovery is about changing?
See how simple that is?
G
PS - I've been clean quite a while, I live the program AND I'm very familiar with the 12 Traditions. Yet, none of that has prevented me from having a using thought, idea or even a using dream. As Stugotz says, "I'm just sayin....."
LOL
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Whats wrong with having using thoughts?
Garden Variety Addict
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Lambertville, NJ
Posts: 310
We are not called addicts for nothing. Of course we think of using. I submit we have no control over that. Once the thought "left-fields" us, it enters the conscious realm, it's an immediate fork-in-the-road. So there it is, I can go left or right. If I continue to dwell I'm asking for trouble. Sometimes I have trouble even without dwelling. I can't beat myself up if the thought comes, but I try to deal with it. If I still have trouble I talk to someone. Still, I don't feel like any of this guarantees my sobriety. But it's all I have.
Garden Variety Addict
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Lambertville, NJ
Posts: 310
Hey heres a wacky idea; the self love and acceptance you say is so crucial, maybe you ought to try that on other people. Your posts, if I may, and I may, are like shards of broken glass in a teddy bear. They're a combination of self-affirmation and sardonic criticism, at who I'm not sure (maybe NA?) and then you add things like "I shouldn't judge or ridicule." I agree, don't compare, but I gotta ask, what exactly is your beef?
MadamMudslinger
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Asheville, Nc
Posts: 1
It hasn't been quite a month since I took my last drink, but I feel better now then I did the day I decided to quit. Just flowing with the river and letting go is becoming easier. I date a guy who drinks and not sure how long this relationship will last, but when we go out I order a Shirley Temple! We are going to the Jazz Festival in New Orleans next week and I will not be drinking, but enjoying the food! I will bring my sketch book and pencils while I listen to the music. I do not feel I am missing out on anything by quitting...Just taking this one day at a time.
Peace always.
MM
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