4thekidz

Hi, I am new here, sober 8 days.

Vodka is my poison. 1/2 to a full fifth per day, 90% of days. >10 years (I'm 44). I might be what one would call a functional alcoholic, cruising thru my professional life and family activities without anyone noticing I am drunk. I went 40 sober days without help last year and figured then I could just be a social drinker...what a mistake. Haven't gone more than nine days since.

I guess my hitting bottom is not that low, since I am largely holding on to God's gifts (wonderful but oblivious wife, young children, good job) but I want to give long-term sobriety a long-term try.

As an aside (since I am already spilling my guts here), I noticed I perform fine in the bedroom when buzzed/drunk but in the few days I am sober have a hard time performing...any other men experience this?

Thank you.

coffeenut

Welcome to SR and congrats on those sober days!

FBL

I never thought I'd ever be sober long-term...that was 22 months ago today! Give it a shot (no pun intended), it's even better than everyone told me it'd be.

As for the sex deal, I had really lost my sex drive towards the end of my nearly 30 years of drinking. Since I've had some long-term sobriety, it's come back in spades, along with a lot of other positive things!

Zebra1275

Welcome!

I agree that vodka is posion.

CarolD

Glad to know you are interested in lasting sobriety...
There are various ways to win over alcohol ..for me it's been
God and AA. for many years.

Welcome to our recovery community...

4thekidz

Thanks all!

Formerbeerlover, interestingly, desire never drops off, only function, and then only on a sober day. Perhaps it's a physiologic withdrawal/anxiety thing?

JoeCree

yes it's psychological. The more you think of it the more you perpetuate the symptoms. It's only because you are stressed out from your change in lifestyle, and, without your wife noticing this change, you are nervous she "might" think something was up (pun intended).

Don't worry about it - over the next couple of weeks as you get used to your newer, healthier lifestyle - your performance measures will return in full.

Missy7

Yes Vodka is a poison. Not to say that I haven't drank plenty of it in my life, but my dad literally drank himself to death on it. Not liver disease, alcohol poisoning. So if you can turn away, do it.

Just a public (sort of) service announcement--having had a hard time walking away from a beautiful oak casket. Morbid enough? I'm 13 days sober.

hoping2quit

Well I was a pint a day man before I would even get home on my 20 minute drive then at home the 3 glasses of wine was all the the wife thought I drank but by 9 i was pretty buzzed but held it well. She never noticed how much I was buzzing. Vodka is the killer because it so easy to drink by itself, anything else I gagged. 2 years ago i drank gin and tonics about twice a week and life was normal. Once a friend suggested vodka tonic i tried it and one thing led to another until I was just drinking the stuff straight up! at the bar i would be like smooth and the bartender would be like "now thats a man". now 2 years later I'm 3 days sober now and feel twice as good as i did last week (not 100%) but about 70%. used to work out 5 days a week 2 years ago then to 3 days a week 1 year ago to 2 days 6 months then skipping weeks recently. That is going to be my drive to get in there and work it all out and be there for my family. I am a very professional functional alkie also and no body except one person knows it but he also owns a bar so I'm sure he knows many. About the sex, same here, I'm a champ when buzzed and can last a while but when i try to go 4 or 5 days with out drinking not there unless its morning sex. I'm going to try a few natural herbs a friend of mine told me about and also if you work out that will build testosterone. anyway we have all spilled our guts on here and that is why i like the anonymity. hope this helps!

4thekidz

Hoping2quit your experience with sex and sobriety is very similar to mine... Problem is, my wife doesn't know I am drinking so she gets upset and thinks she doesn't turn me on. I'm hoping that with a few more weeks of being sober some of the neurochemicals settle down and I get to a new, healthier normal.

ACT10Npack

4thekidz give it sometime about the sex thing. Your only sober for 8 days and your body is getting use to not having alcohol in your system. Try to found out why you drink and try to find peace with your life without alcohol.

Good Luck.

hoping2quit

4thekidz.. well my wife only thinks I drink a few times a weeks and a few glasses of wine but like i was saying i can hold it pretty well. what i was doing the 4 or 5 days not drinking a few times was to just say not sure but maybe it work stress or make something up. is it possible to disclose to her what has been going on? the only reason i havent is beacuse we are 30 weeks prego and I dont want to freak her out and have her stressing about me. more than likely a few after the baby is here i will share with her what i went through and why i didnt tell her. go do squats for a couple of days and body will produce so much testosterone you will be good to i think for a day

Dee74

Welcome 4thekidz

D

newwings

I can promise you, women have the same worries. When I told my husband I was done with drinking, one of the first things he said was, "Great. I'm NEVER going to get any now..'

Maybe so for a while. At the moment I'm throwing everything into getting well again. I think it's probably the best gift I can give him, above everything, including sex. I'm hoping I might be able to make him happier by being fully clear headed, sober and 'in the moment'. Worth looking forward to, no?