LSNP

Two questions:

First: I'm on Day 4.... the worst emotional days so far were one and two... but I am now feeling so FOGGY, like I'm in a cloud. This is normal, right? And can I hope for it to pass fairly soon????

Second: Is there anybody out there, like me, with precious little in terms of a support system? I have literally NO FRIENDS (or at least any real ones, anymore), I have sort of become a recluse and refuse to date and I am very, very lonely. Almost EVERYBODY I know drinks and does so to excess. I lost my best friend to the bottle in November (I figure I'm about two years behind her in progression... or will be if I continue drinking) and I just have NOBODY but my kids for a social life. Any ideas? Shared experiences? It doesn't seem so awful when one is drinking... after all, drinking is "doing something." Heck, I'm even having trouble typing this coherently... stupid Brain Fog.

I sound so pathetic. I need a friend.

ANEWAUGUST

Congrats on day 4!

What you are feeling is perfectly normal. It takes time for our bodies and our emotions to heal. Hang in there, you are during great.

Have you tried an AA meeting? I have found support and friendship in the rooms of AA, unlike anywhere else.

Congrats on your decision to begin living a sober life.

LaFemme

Hugs and congrats on Day 4...that is awesome!

I was also very foggy the first few weeks...like my brain was full of cotton.

As for friends...I'm sorry about your loss. I would suggest worrying abolut your well being right now...new friends will come as you feel better. You could also go to an AA meeting...or spend inordinate amounts of time here like I do

HarpoMarx

ARB - we're all friends here, so whenever you feel lonely, just jump on here and talk about what's going on. We pick each other up when we're down, that's one of the primary purposes of this site. And I know what it's like to need a friend. I had to drop a lot of friends who continued boozing and drugging and a lot of my other friends moved away. I would definitely get to some AA meetings and before you know it, you'll be going out for coffee, breakfast (and trust me, a breakfast on a Saturday or Sunday morning is fantastic when you're not hungover). And find something to volunteer at, I did that for awhile (and intend to resume this summer) and it was a great way to get out there, help other people, and also help yourself at the same time.

As for the brain fog - I had that from 5 to 7 days after I stopped drinking (and one time after a particularly heavy night of drinking) - and I hated it. I thought to myself: "would it ever go away or had I finally broken my brain." Trust me, it goes away. Just drink lots of fluids and eat as well as you can. Before you know it, you'll be right as rain.

April999

It will get better!

Dee74

the brain fog is normal...as is the withdrawal from friends (who are usually drinkers) and perhaps some loneliness.

Early recovery is a time of upheaval...you may not feel this way later on today let alone tomorrow...

But if it does stick around...I reconnected with friends who weren't drinkers...I did some volunteer work, I started new pursuits and hobbies to help fill my day....

I also, for the first time ever, really worked on myself - and I found to my surprise I became comfortable in my own company.

You're doing fine for day 4 ARB...it's a process and a natural one...it may be a little uncomfortable and none of us is good with that - but try not to rush it

D

EmeraldRose

Welcome ARB. As others stated the fog will lift. It is a common symptom of quitting.
At 80 something days sober I still have moments of this awesome clarity which leads me to believe there is more...more to seek, more to see, more ahead of me...its an awesome feeling. It's like a vision into the future.
I know whatcha mean about the friends. But funny thing is 2 of my newest friends are both recovering. I believe they were both placed in my path for a reason.
Definately the one, her ex husbands family lived in my hometown 1400 miles away from us. The grandparents lived next to my parents many moons ago. And here the two of us are -both recovering, both have senior girls in HS, both connected....that is weird.
Things happen for a reason. People will cross your path. You will know who to trust, you will know who is real.
But in the meantime....this is a great place to find friends.

spen71

I echo what others have said. It clears and things do become a lot clearer. I used to hate my own company now I find I quite enjoy it and actually prefer it at times.

almay777

ARB - can completely relate. I am only on day 3. Despite getting a reasonable sleep (albeit took me a long while to drop off) today I feel fuzzy, foggy and depressed. I too have no friends and have a child who is my only company. I do feel sorry for myself but if I allow myself to feel too sorry, I will end up drinking and I absolutely refuse to do this. So if you only have your children, then do what I am going to do - enjoy it! I am going to take my son to the park today, spend some time with him, attempt to google how to make something with him (am rubbish with things like this). But I would not be doing any of these things with him if I was drinking. So I have decided to make today about him instead of me for once. And I think this will also help me to A) not drink and B) truely appreciate what Ive been missing. Give it a try.....if we allow ourselves to get too down...well we all know where that can lead Am only one day behind you ARB - prehaps we can do this together

iliveforyou

ARB - Oh how I can relate about the feelings of lonliness...having your children as your only interaction, only companion. This is my life. Although I am married, I am pretty much a single parent living in a "marriage". I get no adult interaction except online where my only friends are as I don't have friends IRL.

But it's good that you have reached out here to us in SR - we are here for you and we DO care about you!

Congrats on your 4 days, keep up the wonderful work

Do you have anyone that would be willing to watch your children so that you could go out and do something for yourself? Maybe an AA meeting, if that is what works for you? With me being a SAHM and a homeschooler, I spend ALL my time with my daughter 24/7 and I often forget that I need to take care of myself!

Keep coming back to post, we'll be here

-Jess

theatredork

I also recommend AA. There you will find people who have gone through the same things. You don't have to talk. SR is great but having actual people in front of you really eases the loneliness. If there's an Alano club nearby they probably have sober activities, especially on weekends. Hang in there.

strawberryashes

((((ARB)))))

I know exactly how you feel. I'm still in my first days. I don't really have any friends who I can talk to, who I don't drink with, and who I think actually like me (I've learned that, really... nobody likes the drunk girl). I realize that I have nobody to call to do something with sober. And that's okay. Last week, I wouldn't have wanted to do something sober. In fact, I would have been really annoyed at the thought. I'm lonely now, but I was so lonely when I was drinking too. Yeah, it might have made it forgettable for a while, but it made it impossible for me to make friends.

But we're new now. New people. Nobody really knew the real us. I'm looking forward to making new friends. Because I'm different, I'm looking forward to meeting people who I actually like, and not just people who like to party.

My brain hurts too. I'm annoyed, restless, short tempered and a little sad. It's like a sickness, you know. We need time for our brains to recover.

newby1961

I don't think there is many people who aren't lonely when they stop drinking.

I know when I came in I had a hole in my soul and I needed to fill it so I did go to AA.

If for now that is to much to handle then stay close to SR

hoping2quit

I love all of your posts! over the past 2 years of going through the motions of doing things with my kids, I have decided to really focus and take in every smile, laugh, the big eyes when they see something they havent seen before. make things like almay77 said which is actually good for the brain to be productive and constuctive. Plant some plants, go to lowes buy some flowers. It will pass all the foggy feelings. Im on day 3 and wow im typing fast and getting work done at the same time, ideas for the business are flowing. You have friends here ARB as you can see so keep posting!

artsoul

At day 4, I was still holding on by a thread just to stay sober..... Don't get too despondent...... Building a new life takes time. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me, but was assured by everyone here that it's normal to feel all kinds of emotions and not know what to do with ourselves for a while.

Remember, it's "one day at a time." Things are going to change for the better, so hang in there!:ghug3

Reset

Yes the fog thing is normal. I got it too.

I never had any friends or social net either. I preferred to drink by myself instead of nurturing friendships. So once I quit I realized I was pretty much alone other than my family. This place and a couple of other forums I visit help. Anyway I'm not ready to go out and make a bunch of new friends so I'll stick to forums and my family for the time being.

Lipitor

A pea soup fog....Yes I can Identify with that one. NORMAL

It will pass. Mine did .... Its only been a few weeks also

Hang in .

Have lots of hot showers...It helps

L

Angelus1775

AA will definitely help with the lonliness. The first time I went, I was invited out for coffee. Since then, I have been meeting people in the rooms and making some sober friends. The rooms with really help with having a support network.