Eclipse

I know it sounds silly, but really, I didn't know. I was making him a sandwich to take to him when he got out of track practice and my daughter said "he doesn't like mayo" How did she know and I didn't for crying out loud. Just another reason to feel like a failure.

Dee74

That's not really anything to worry too much about tho, is it Eclipse?
We all make mistakes

I found I used to focus on little things too - and use them as a stick to beat myself and an excuse to drink.

My perceptions began to change once I gave up drinking. I know yours will too

D

Eclipse

I just feel like I am dwelling on all the little crap. I am a good mom and am there for them most of the time...but the drinking take so much energy and leaves me with no energy...just sayin'

Mynxt30

But the exciting part is that you are making an effort to change! Embrace the new found sandwich knowledge and let it lift you up and remind you of one of the many reasons why you want to change.

simplyfab

I had a moment like that once. Kind of backwards though.
My addiction had seperated my SO and I for a brief time and in that time it was difficult for him to spend time w/ the kids because of his career. One day he took them to the movies then to eat pizza and he had no clue our daughter didn't like pepperoni.
It's something small, but it was huge reminder of what my addiction was doing.

I don't know your story, but it sounds like you're there for them now.
For me, its remembering those little moments that make not drinking the easiest choice.

Sending you Happy Mommy vibes...
Here's to many more sandwiches you'll be there to make, WITHOUT mayo!

Dee74

It really does yeah...it's like doing everything with one hand tied behind your back.
Have you got any ideas about what to do Eclipse?

Is AA or some other recovery group an option?
Rehab?
Counselling?

D

Anna

Eclipse, being a Mom is the hardest job ever, and I don't think we ever feel like we did enough. Try to keep it in perspective and move on.

Eclipse

I love that! That might be my new mantra

Eclipse

Thanks for the "mommy vibes"!

Eclipse

Hi Dee,
I did AA for awhile, but with kids, work, etc. I couldn't get to the meetings. I know, I know its a lame excuse

Eclipse

I love this sandwich stuff, which is really about the bigger picture, right?

Eclipse

Thanks Anna, it is a hard job and never ending.

SSIL75

I remember well the shock I felt in early recovery when the impact of my drinking became clear to me. I thought I was a good mother. But man, it's just impossible to be a good parent and an active alcoholic. I have a lot of time to make up for. It breaks my heart.

EmeraldRose

I think we've all had ((duh)) moments. One year I put the wrong things in the wrong stockings at christmas. What a riot.
My kids know more about each other than I do about all of them. They used to always remind me of something and I always felt like a ditz. But that was the past...can't change it and I move on...

Tiredofdrugs

Eclipse: I'm a recovering addict from pain meds! But I wanted to tell you this, after reading your mayo story!

My husband and I have lived together since July 2006. I STILL wouldn't have a clue what all he likes on his sandwiches. When it comes to Subway! I usually ask him what he DOESN'T want on it. That's usually the easiest way to get it right for him.

And he isn't a mayo person either. LOL I myself, do like it. He cringes when I put mayo on my chilli dogs. I like mustard too, just not as much as mayo.

I had to make lists of things for awhile to remind myself of things I couldn't remember. It's just part of the healing process while getting our bodies and minds cleared of the drug/alcohol we've put into them. The more days/months you stay away from the alcohol. The better mother you will become. I know you've heard this many times. But I'm going to say it again. Time! Give yourself time to heal mentally and physically.

TOD

Eclipse

Thanks for the posts. Its just hard to feel so out of touch with things. I'm feeling more positive today and am trying to to get down on myself for the little things...there is a much bigger picture and I know it will all come together. Whew...this is hard work.

Fandy

regarding your sandwich knowledge...if you want to pursue it....His tastes may have recently changed...perhaps he previously DID like mayo...and just doesn't like it this past week or two.

it is a small thing and might not even be something to question....(sometimes I like cheese, lettuce and sometimes i hate it on my sandwich and only want pickles).

LaFemme

Its all about perspective. There is a lot of pressure today to be a perfect parent...I've yet to see anyone accomplish this goal. You do your best, with a loving heart and that's about all that one can ask.

Also, Maybe you knew and forgot? I was super forgetful the last 2 years of my drinking...like a constant brain fog, I became very careful about responding to comments peole made because I was scared I couldn't remember the context. It's only in the past month or so that I feel like my brain is getting back into the game.

Give it some time, and don't beat yourself up

ItWillBeWorthIt

I am with Fandy on this one. I have three kids and one week they like/love something, let's say apple juice and the next week they won't touch it. One week they like butter on their sandwich and the next week it is disgusting. There was a time I really thought they did this to me to drive me crazy, but realized it just happens.

I do understand what you mean -- my suggestion, try to move on and focus on your recovery that is really what matters now. My 16 year old said to me last week, it doesn't matter that you drank too much Mom, it is what you are doing now to get better. Made me feel great... and really that is what matters -- working on my recovery.