Just realized!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 87
Just realized!
Well I have finally come to the conclusion that I'm a alcoholic and I guess that is the first step in this process. I did quit for over a year about 5 years ago but since then it progressed into pretty much every day for the past 2 years. I buy a pint of vodka every day, drink about half of it before I get home (from work 15 minutes) the other half sneaking outside to the car! I love trash days cause its a good excuse to go out there. Picked vodka cause spouse can't smell it. I buy boxed wine (its like 4 bottles) because spouse can't tell how much I drink when I do drink in front of her (when she goes out of the kitchen I down the glass and fill it back to where it was before she left). Pretty good little system I have to hide my drinking but I'm tired of it and need to ditch this. Can't sleep if I don't drink and the excuse I can't sleep to spouse is I didnt take a sleeping pill! Stopped working out to like 1 day a week, can't focus at work, and probably all the other things that most drinkers go through. Have toddler and a baby on the way and I have to stop! Couldnt imagine being woke up in the middle of the night to we have to go! and i'm drunk on the couch. And not only that but when the baby is here I have to help during the night and so I have a many good reasons to quit! Does any of this sound familiar? Please share. Thank you!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Oh yes, it sounds familiar. I had so many systems on the go by the time I stopped, that I was exhausted. I didn't realize until I stopped drinking, how much my mind had been occupied with planning/hiding/worrying about drinking.
I'm glad you recognize that you have a problem and are making the choice to live a sober life.
I'm glad you recognize that you have a problem and are making the choice to live a sober life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 87
Thats what I want is to read as much info as possible so it will sink in that i have a problem because what I have learned is my brain plays tricks on me that I don't have a problem and I shrug it off thinking it can't happen to me. But it is finally here and I have to start using the tools to quit cause its not going to happen alone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Sure, sounds familiar. Like Anna, there were systems in place to fool the nekked eye. Adding water to the bottle, decoy bottles, etc...it can be utterly exhausting trying to keep up the charade and I'm so glad I don't have to fool anyone. Especially myself. It's all a lie...one big fat alcohol lie. LOL Glad you've had a change of heart.
Your tot and baby to be will appreciate your efforts.
Your tot and baby to be will appreciate your efforts.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
..but you are not fooling anyone with "hiding" your vodka and wine consumption.
How do you plan to stop? if you can't sleep without alcohol, the first few days without it will make you very uncomfortable.
Have you decided to tell your doctor and your wife the truth?
How do you plan to stop? if you can't sleep without alcohol, the first few days without it will make you very uncomfortable.
Have you decided to tell your doctor and your wife the truth?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Welcome to SR!
There is a wealth of information here.
I too can relate to a lot of what you said, but since I lived alone I only had to hide my consumption from the neighbors and my family when visiting. Had to hide it from the store I bought from too, of course, wouldn't want them to know how much I drank.
I think coming clean to the wife might be necessary. Like Fandy said detox can be noticably difficult, much like the flu. Additionally, considering how much you are drinking it could be potentially dangerous, even deadly, to quit without a doctor's supervision.
Life is infinitely better sober. Congrats on taking the first steps!
There is a wealth of information here.
I too can relate to a lot of what you said, but since I lived alone I only had to hide my consumption from the neighbors and my family when visiting. Had to hide it from the store I bought from too, of course, wouldn't want them to know how much I drank.
I think coming clean to the wife might be necessary. Like Fandy said detox can be noticably difficult, much like the flu. Additionally, considering how much you are drinking it could be potentially dangerous, even deadly, to quit without a doctor's supervision.
Life is infinitely better sober. Congrats on taking the first steps!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 400
Welcome! I'm new too and this site had been an incredible encouragement. Wishing you the best as you begin your sober journey. You've got to do this. For yourself, your wife, and your children. Keep coming back to the forum; it really helps.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
WELCOME, Well bud you've done the hardest part ! I'm very impressed with your sense of responsibility, that, a sense of humor, and the willingness to listen will get you where you want to go. The gals may not believe this, but a mans sense of responsibility too his family is just as strong as there's. Now, to do what you want REQUIRES that YOU take care of YOU. I envy you so much, I didn't catch myself till my kids were pre teens. By then the damage was done. It has all been fixed,but it was a long agonising process. You have the chance to make sure your kids NEVER see you drunk. What a blessing !!!
We're all rootin for ya. Now go get-um Killer
Ron
We're all rootin for ya. Now go get-um Killer
Ron
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
Originally Posted by cfp 
Good words RONF. I have just started recovery like hoping2quit, and one of the things that is motivating me is my boys (10 and 14). I hope they never see me drink again.
All the best,
Ron
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 87
Thanks everyone, I think this is a good start for me and I pray it can lead to actual meetings around people. cpf and everyone who is new lets stay motivated and keep posting and encourage each other. I realized this cant be done alone, I have tried for months even cutting back doesnt work because it will not let you. Thank you again for sharing and have a great day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 87
I had to buy from different places because they started actually telling me "again?" Or don't even ask what you want they know and everyone in line is like staring and probably thinking good grief! But maybe those others in line are just as bad as i am. So when the people selling to you starts noticing, that is a wake up call on its own.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! It's amazing what we go through to keep our addiction under wraps. All that work just to make ourselves more and more miserable. I did all the same things you did.... but I wasn't fooling myself.
Take it one day at a time and keep reading/posting - you're not alone anymore!:ghug3
Take it one day at a time and keep reading/posting - you're not alone anymore!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
hoping2quit....there is an old thread from last year called "changing up liquor stores"...we've all been there...I will try to bump it up for you.
it covers buying from various places and hiding the recycling, the tricks we all used.
imagine how great you will feel if you are sober for the birth of your child and able to take care of your wife and family....(not easy to do when you are not on top of your game, impossible if you are drinking)
it covers buying from various places and hiding the recycling, the tricks we all used.
imagine how great you will feel if you are sober for the birth of your child and able to take care of your wife and family....(not easy to do when you are not on top of your game, impossible if you are drinking)
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
