I might be an alcoholic
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: VA
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I might be an alcoholic
Okay, so I have been a heavy drinker for quite some time now. Although, my drinking is certainly a problem, I am not entirely sure if i have crossed the line into alcoholism. I've tried to make it a week without drinking and I normally only last about 3 days. However, I have no physical symptoms of withdrawal. When I blackout I shake in the morning, but other than that I have no other physical symptoms. Everyone is telling me I am an alcoholic. Do i need to abstain entirely from drinking? Do I need help? If I do need help what should be my course of action? I need some advice.
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Sydney NSW
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Originally Posted by soberjohndoe 
Okay, so I have been a heavy drinker for quite some time now. Although, my drinking is certainly a problem, I am not entirely sure if i have crossed the line into alcoholism. I've tried to make it a week without drinking and I normally only last about 3 days. However, I have no physical symptoms of withdrawal. When I blackout I shake in the morning, but other than that I have no other physical symptoms. Everyone is telling me I am an alcoholic. Do i need to abstain entirely from drinking? Do I need help? If I do need help what should be my course of action? I need some advice.
I was pretty much in the same boat as you when I came here, in the sense that I drank fairly regularly, sometimes until blackout, but I didn't really consider myself an alcoholic. But I think the fact that you are here asking, is generally a sign that you feel like it might be out of hand, or that you want things to change in some way. At least, that's how it was for me. I've only been sober for two weeks now, but I've got to say I feel much, much better, though I still want to drink...
It really all comes down to whether you are ready to try sobriety. My goal is 30 days sober, and then at the end of that I'll be in a more rational position to decide where to from there. I'm just taking it a day at a time and trying not to over-think it, which helps.
Anyway, if you feel like talking about it, and you need advice, you've come to the right place. I found it very strange coming here to begin with, but there's such a broad range of alkies (or should I say ex-alkies?) here that you will find people who have been where you are now and can offer help and support.
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 3
Blackouts are a pretty solid indicator that there is a problem, from what I have learned so far.
I don't have withdrawals when I stop either...none at all. But blackouts are serious business.
I read a really good post on this site that talks about some of the physical stuff about alcohol in both alcoholics and nonalcoholics. If you go to the Alcoholism Information > Alcoholism section and check out the " Excerpts from "Under The Influence" section, and scroll down to the part where it says: " {Page 108 & Others} " it talks specifically about blackouts. I would post a link but I'm new here and can't yet.
I hope the best for you. I'm glad you are asking, it seems to me that its the right direction to go.
I don't have withdrawals when I stop either...none at all. But blackouts are serious business.
I read a really good post on this site that talks about some of the physical stuff about alcohol in both alcoholics and nonalcoholics. If you go to the Alcoholism Information > Alcoholism section and check out the " Excerpts from "Under The Influence" section, and scroll down to the part where it says: " {Page 108 & Others} " it talks specifically about blackouts. I would post a link but I'm new here and can't yet.
I hope the best for you. I'm glad you are asking, it seems to me that its the right direction to go.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
welcome soberjohndoe - I think you're very wise to ask the question because if you are an alcoholic, it will only get worse. The "shakes" you mentioned are withdrawal (so is a hangover) and the blackouts are a real red flag, too.
For me it was the fact that I couldn't stop that first alerted me to my drinking problem (I didn't usually make it past day 3 either). I also was never satisfied with a drink or two. I always wanted one more, no matter how much I'd had.
Lots of us have stopped before we had major consequences (DUI, work or relationship issues). So just hang around and read some posts..... maybe it will help you answer your question.
For me it was the fact that I couldn't stop that first alerted me to my drinking problem (I didn't usually make it past day 3 either). I also was never satisfied with a drink or two. I always wanted one more, no matter how much I'd had.
Lots of us have stopped before we had major consequences (DUI, work or relationship issues). So just hang around and read some posts..... maybe it will help you answer your question.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi soberjohndoe
Shaking in the morning, blackouts, and the inability to go without a drink for long all sound like indications of a problem to me.
Seeing your Dr is a good first step. Joining up here and pasting and reading regularly is also good - looking into other face to face support such as AA or another recovery group like SMART, or counselling is a third step you can take.
Here's a link to some of the main recovery players
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
Welcome to SR!
D
Shaking in the morning, blackouts, and the inability to go without a drink for long all sound like indications of a problem to me.
Seeing your Dr is a good first step. Joining up here and pasting and reading regularly is also good - looking into other face to face support such as AA or another recovery group like SMART, or counselling is a third step you can take.
Here's a link to some of the main recovery players
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
Welcome to SR!
D
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,921
I've tried to make it a week without drinking and I normally only last about 3 days. However, I have no physical symptoms of withdrawal. When I blackout I shake in the morning, but other than that I have no other physical symptoms.
YET.
Things won't get any better, they will only get worse, this is a progressive disease.
YET.
Things won't get any better, they will only get worse, this is a progressive disease.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 12
From reading others' experiences here, I personally realized that what was a harmless pastime became a dangerous road for me. You don't have to be at the extreme end of the spectrum to earn the title "alcoholic". You do have to want to never come close to that extreme in order to recognize the importance and seriousness in stopping though. This site is a great resource for knowledge and support.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome!
I took the word "alcoholic" out of the equation. For me it just gave me an internal arguement that I would always be in danger of loosing. So I asked myself....is your life better without alcohol...the answer was a resounding YES!
You asked what to do...joining here is a good start as is talking to your doctor. I also never made it past day 3 and I tried for 4 or 5 years. Many people use AA with a lot of success. Dee posted a link to some other stuff. Read and educate realizethat
Most importhantly realize that sobriety isn't something terrible, boring. Or in any way negative...in fact it will most likely be the best thing that's ever happened to you...I know it is for me
Edit: I am 9+ months sober...I used SR, coaching, books and God to get and stay sober.
I took the word "alcoholic" out of the equation. For me it just gave me an internal arguement that I would always be in danger of loosing. So I asked myself....is your life better without alcohol...the answer was a resounding YES!
You asked what to do...joining here is a good start as is talking to your doctor. I also never made it past day 3 and I tried for 4 or 5 years. Many people use AA with a lot of success. Dee posted a link to some other stuff. Read and educate realizethat
Most importhantly realize that sobriety isn't something terrible, boring. Or in any way negative...in fact it will most likely be the best thing that's ever happened to you...I know it is for me
Edit: I am 9+ months sober...I used SR, coaching, books and God to get and stay sober.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi and welcome to SR!
Yeah, I agree with LaFemme. People debate the definition a lot, which seems silly to me, since words are just things we make up in our heads. The situation—that's what's real, and my situation was a lot like yours.
The thing that really woke me up was the realization that alcohol had started to cast a long shadow over everything. I didn't want to go more than a few days without drinking, and when I drank, I drank until I was drunk. I spent my days working or hanging out with people, but really I felt I was going through the motions, just passing time until the next drink.
It was a lonely and dark place. I couldn't even imagine giving up my trusty companion, alcohol. Turns out my life is sooooooooo much better without it (that liar was no friend to me after all). It was a leap of faith, but I'm really glad I took it!
Yeah, I agree with LaFemme. People debate the definition a lot, which seems silly to me, since words are just things we make up in our heads. The situation—that's what's real, and my situation was a lot like yours.
The thing that really woke me up was the realization that alcohol had started to cast a long shadow over everything. I didn't want to go more than a few days without drinking, and when I drank, I drank until I was drunk. I spent my days working or hanging out with people, but really I felt I was going through the motions, just passing time until the next drink.
It was a lonely and dark place. I couldn't even imagine giving up my trusty companion, alcohol. Turns out my life is sooooooooo much better without it (that liar was no friend to me after all). It was a leap of faith, but I'm really glad I took it!
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by soberjohndoe
When I blackout I shake in the morning, but other than that I have no other physical symptoms.
Normal drinkers never say that. But I could have...
Alcoholism must be self diagnosed, for many reasons... but there are a lot of red flags in your very short post...
You may or may not need help... but if you find you cannot stay away from the drink for any length of time... there is a solution. And yes, not drinking is part of that solution, but only part.
Keep posting. And WELCOME to SR!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome John...I'm only 80 something days in from a 30 year drinking black out. I didn't think I had a problem either but funny, everyone else in my famly did.
You can label yourself any which way you want...alcoholic, problem drinker, alcohol abuser, lush, etc -you get the point. But I think what it boils down to is the scenario surrounding the drinking. Shakes, daily drinking, black outs.
You don't have to have any specific incident in your life to connect you and the booze. I never got a DUI, I never was in an accident (except with a deer, not drinking related) never woke up in a strange country, etc.........THEN I lost my job.
So sooner or later it will catch up, you will get lazy and the progressiveness will harm you to some degree and leave you wondering what happened to your life. So...the point is...good thing you are here. SR will give you the hindsight to answer some of your questions.
Glad you're here.
You can label yourself any which way you want...alcoholic, problem drinker, alcohol abuser, lush, etc -you get the point. But I think what it boils down to is the scenario surrounding the drinking. Shakes, daily drinking, black outs.
You don't have to have any specific incident in your life to connect you and the booze. I never got a DUI, I never was in an accident (except with a deer, not drinking related) never woke up in a strange country, etc.........THEN I lost my job.
So sooner or later it will catch up, you will get lazy and the progressiveness will harm you to some degree and leave you wondering what happened to your life. So...the point is...good thing you are here. SR will give you the hindsight to answer some of your questions.
Glad you're here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: VA
Posts: 20
Thanks for all the input people.
I appreciate it and I am getting through my first day sober slowly. I feel fine physically, but i've been an emotional roller coaster all day. Hopefully, I can make it past the three day curse that has plagued me in the past.
I appreciate it and I am getting through my first day sober slowly. I feel fine physically, but i've been an emotional roller coaster all day. Hopefully, I can make it past the three day curse that has plagued me in the past.
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: kansas
Posts: 61
The only symptom that is needed to tell if it is alcoholism is the symptom of blackout.
Only alcoholics have these and only alcoholics keep drinking in spite of these.
I had blackouts all of the time towards the end of my drinking, and would wake up in bed in the morning with the
(paraphrased from the first edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous The Story of How Thousands Of Men and Women Have Recovered Form Alcoholism)
four horsemen of despair, terror, bewilderment and frustration.
Plus seventy two hours after the last drink is about exactly when the "physical withdrawls from alcohol" begin to set in so it is not surprising that you dont make it past three days. I never even tried to stop.
Not being able to remember what happened, even with my photographic memory, made no difference to me. I finally got a hold of the signs and symptoms of alcoholism and read them once and immediately identified that as what was wrong with me. What a relief. Plus information was given about how to treat it. A further relief.
No more blackouts and waking up with those horse riders.
Only alcoholics have these and only alcoholics keep drinking in spite of these.
I had blackouts all of the time towards the end of my drinking, and would wake up in bed in the morning with the
(paraphrased from the first edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous The Story of How Thousands Of Men and Women Have Recovered Form Alcoholism)
four horsemen of despair, terror, bewilderment and frustration.
Plus seventy two hours after the last drink is about exactly when the "physical withdrawls from alcohol" begin to set in so it is not surprising that you dont make it past three days. I never even tried to stop.
Not being able to remember what happened, even with my photographic memory, made no difference to me. I finally got a hold of the signs and symptoms of alcoholism and read them once and immediately identified that as what was wrong with me. What a relief. Plus information was given about how to treat it. A further relief.
No more blackouts and waking up with those horse riders.
Last edited by Francismcan; 04-20-2011 at 06:29 PM. Reason: to add: Plus seventy two hours after the last drink is about exactly when the "physical withdrawls from alcohol" begin..stop.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 118
There are 3 main criteria that can help you diagnose yourself as an alcoholic:
1. An alcoholic cannot have only one drink, they have an allergy that causes them to crave more and they drink to absolute oblivion pretty much every time (can you have only one or two drinks and stop and be OK?)
2. There is the mental obsession- an alcoholic is either drinking or thinking about drinking (I learned that from an old timer in AA)
3. Most importantly, a real alcoholic absolutely CANNOT stop drinking on his/her own willpower, regardless of how bad the consequences of drinking have become
1. An alcoholic cannot have only one drink, they have an allergy that causes them to crave more and they drink to absolute oblivion pretty much every time (can you have only one or two drinks and stop and be OK?)
2. There is the mental obsession- an alcoholic is either drinking or thinking about drinking (I learned that from an old timer in AA)
3. Most importantly, a real alcoholic absolutely CANNOT stop drinking on his/her own willpower, regardless of how bad the consequences of drinking have become
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cary, NC
Posts: 715
Hi soberjohndoe -
Congrats on that all important first day. The first week was toughest for me and I held on to SR like a drowning man clinging to a lifeboat It was a wild ride, like coming to after a four hour nap all drowsy and pissed at the same time with my head pounding, but it evened out pretty quickly.
I came to realize my alcoholism when I looked at my full drinking history and saw the progression. I just needed more and more to drink over time, simple physical dependence, and I never did stop with one. There are a lot of bells and whistles - drinking before the party, drinking after the party, drinking at 8 AM on a Wednesday - but the progression caught my attention. That's the addiction spiral in a nutshell, and it doesn't get any better.
Welcome to SR, glad you're here
Congrats on that all important first day. The first week was toughest for me and I held on to SR like a drowning man clinging to a lifeboat
It was a wild ride, like coming to after a four hour nap all drowsy and pissed at the same time with my head pounding, but it evened out pretty quickly.I came to realize my alcoholism when I looked at my full drinking history and saw the progression. I just needed more and more to drink over time, simple physical dependence, and I never did stop with one. There are a lot of bells and whistles - drinking before the party, drinking after the party, drinking at 8 AM on a Wednesday - but the progression caught my attention. That's the addiction spiral in a nutshell, and it doesn't get any better.
Welcome to SR, glad you're here
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Originally Posted by soberjohndoe
Okay, so I have been a heavy drinker for quite some time now. Although, my drinking is certainly a problem, I am not entirely sure if i have crossed the line into alcoholism. I've tried to make it a week without drinking and I normally only last about 3 days. However, I have no physical symptoms of withdrawal. When I blackout I shake in the morning, but other than that I have no other physical symptoms. Everyone is telling me I am an alcoholic. Do i need to abstain entirely from drinking? Do I need help? If I do need help what should be my course of action? I need some advice.
I'd then string together a few days, and get that feeling in the pit of my stomach. You might know what I'm talking about. The feeling of your skin crawling because you're so aggitated and restless. The anticipation of that burning alcohol filling your blood stream. The excitement for that temporary relief that alcohol so quickly provides.
I'd then spend a day convincing her that I'm not an alcoholic. And soon, I'd be sitting in front of the TV drinking my whiskey and cokes and acting like nothing was wrong. I'd then have to make sure I didn't "act" hungover the next day because if I did she'd know that I was an alcoholic. I'd then spend the rest of my drinking days trying so hard not to drink too much, or get drunk to soon, or have to many empties in the trash can, and once again alcohol would consume me.
What a pain in the ass to live that way.
Now that I have over four months without drinking I can see that not only was I an alcoholic, but I was much worse than I even thought. My perspective wasn't very good when I was drinking. I look back on my drinking and see how dangerous it was. Today, I am 100% convinced that I am an alcoholic and when I drink my life is completely un-manageble.
Keep coming back to this site. It helps a ton. I wish you the best man!!
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Thanks for posting JohnDoe
Alcoholism and alcoholic are just words, and vague words at that. But you are alive and your life is what is at stake. You made a great step in coming here and posting, that took a lot of courage.
I certainly didn't come to SR because I was comfortable with drinking. I knew deep down that it was problem, it would end up killing me. Funny thing was my alcoholic mind kept trying to dissuade me and tell me the drinking wasnt that bad. I would look for any excuse to drink and the alcoholic mind was much more persuasive than my rational mind because I had been a drunk for so long.
Stick around here and read peoples stories is something you might want to do.
Alcoholism and alcoholic are just words, and vague words at that. But you are alive and your life is what is at stake. You made a great step in coming here and posting, that took a lot of courage.
I certainly didn't come to SR because I was comfortable with drinking. I knew deep down that it was problem, it would end up killing me. Funny thing was my alcoholic mind kept trying to dissuade me and tell me the drinking wasnt that bad. I would look for any excuse to drink and the alcoholic mind was much more persuasive than my rational mind because I had been a drunk for so long.
Stick around here and read peoples stories is something you might want to do.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 518
When I first joined this site, I was much like you; questioning whether or not I even had a problem, or for that matter if I need to abstain.
I decided to make SR my default therapy practice, and it has changed my life for the better. At first it was very difficult, as I learned alot more about myself, and tendencies. I started to realize with time that although I was never in real trouble, I was heading down a bad path - and making a stand now would be in the best interest for everyone around me.
I have already lost a few friends --- have missed out on some typical social settings, but on the flip side have tripled the enjoyment that can be had with non drinking involved.
Taking it 30 days at a time is a good start 0 me personally, I believe 365 days is a true milestone - and will allow yourself the full time to live life as it should, then reevaluate as necessary. Currently I am going on 160+ days, and it truly has just gotten easier and easier as the days go by. I often go a few days now without even thinking about it, that's when I know it is working.
I decided to make SR my default therapy practice, and it has changed my life for the better. At first it was very difficult, as I learned alot more about myself, and tendencies. I started to realize with time that although I was never in real trouble, I was heading down a bad path - and making a stand now would be in the best interest for everyone around me.
I have already lost a few friends --- have missed out on some typical social settings, but on the flip side have tripled the enjoyment that can be had with non drinking involved.
Taking it 30 days at a time is a good start 0 me personally, I believe 365 days is a true milestone - and will allow yourself the full time to live life as it should, then reevaluate as necessary. Currently I am going on 160+ days, and it truly has just gotten easier and easier as the days go by. I often go a few days now without even thinking about it, that's when I know it is working.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
My sponsor has a very simple quiz he gives people:
- When you put booze in you, does it say "give me more?"
- When you swear it off, do you go back to it?
Answer yes to both and you're an alcoholic.
The second question is the trickier than the first. You said that you've tried to quit for a week and only made it three days. That's a pretty strong indication that you lack power over alcohol when you're sober. But, if you simply feel that it's a failure of willpower, and you need to try harder next time to not drink, then you might need more evidence. But what if you make it a week and then drink on day 10? What does that mean?
Whatever you do, I encourage you to consider finding a fellowship (in person) of some sort that can help you-- whether it's AA (which I use) or some of the other options that people have mentioned here. This is hard to do with support, it's nearly impossible alone.
- When you put booze in you, does it say "give me more?"
- When you swear it off, do you go back to it?
Answer yes to both and you're an alcoholic.
The second question is the trickier than the first. You said that you've tried to quit for a week and only made it three days. That's a pretty strong indication that you lack power over alcohol when you're sober. But, if you simply feel that it's a failure of willpower, and you need to try harder next time to not drink, then you might need more evidence. But what if you make it a week and then drink on day 10? What does that mean?
Whatever you do, I encourage you to consider finding a fellowship (in person) of some sort that can help you-- whether it's AA (which I use) or some of the other options that people have mentioned here. This is hard to do with support, it's nearly impossible alone.
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