Cecilia

Prudie says your right to swing your arms ends where your neighbors nose begins.
So how does our A's right to run around snookered balance with other peoples rights not to be RUN OVER.

Before the Brouha it never occured to me that Elvis was an accident waiting to happen. Truthfully a lot of times I was just glad he was gone and not bugging me.

I see a continuing thread running thru our posts. Lots of People post about their A's driving and wrecking their and anybody elses car they can get their hands on.

Now that my conciousness has been raised I wish I had turned Elvis in for drinking and driving. Im not around ANYONE that drinks now. There arent many people who are comfortable drinking around me because of what happened. But if I were around any, I I wouldnt let them drive.

I dont really have any answers. Just thought Id cause trouble and get a discussion going. ;-) I can see how it would be really hard to decide what to do if you were in an active relationship with an A.

Debbie

Hi Cecilia

I can honestly say it wasn't a decision for me to make. He lost his license and I never let him drive my car. When he took and crashed my car, he "stole" it. I go to a party now and then and I don't drive if I think I will be drinking. I think him be an alcoholic as made me more aware of the rights and wrongs if drinking not to mention the legal issues.

I just thank God that he never hurt anyone besides himself in all his drunk driving episodes. He was in a rehab with a guy who killed someone while drinking and driving. Can you imagine how much guilt and remorse he carries.

Oh well just my thoughts even if they don't make sense

Hugs,
Debbie

Cecilia

Yes I can imagine. Elvis managed to kill several people and injure several more and now hes in jail for a long time. I try not to be judgemental of others when they drink but I do have to admit it has given me a whole new attitude about drinking and driving.

Debbie

It definitely changes a persons thinking and personally I don't think that is such a bad thing.

thereids

Cecilia...

My A drove every day while under the influence. I worried myself sick about it, but no matter how often I asked him not to, or to call me if he needed a ride, he still did.

I guess they feel that "it" won't happen to them. My A has said to me many times that he drives better drunk, than most people sober. Can you believe it???

I just thank God that he has never injured anyone .

RJ

Gabe

a long time ago. If he ever shows up drunk at my house again, I will call the cops and report him when he leaves. I won't have him getting in an accident and hurting someone on my conscience. If he opts to drink, drive and make me aware of it...he knows what the consequences will be.
Peace,
Gabe

phoenix

Ok...shoot me

If you saw a three year old walking around waving a loaded gun you'd do something to stop it...right?

A drunk with a car isn't much different....



Yes.I know it's a tough call when you live with the drunk and rely on him for support,share finances and all that.I thank God I don't live like that anymore.And I would not judge any of you for the decisions you make.Just tossing out the comparison as food for thought.

phoenix

californiacarla

Good comparison Phoenix.

I don't know how many times I risked my life riding with the ex. Thinking his drunk driving was better than mine so I was safer.. Geeze, why didn't I think about the consquences of hitting other people?? Heck, I did it enough myself... lucky me and other people on the road.

Guess cause I was/am an alcoholic myself. Real good at rationalizing. HA! Anyway, there were times when we were out seperately and I was tempted to call on my cell phone and report him, get him arrested.. Still can, he hangs out at the same places still, I hear stories from friends..Know his routine...

But, suppose thats borderline retailiation... not sure how to go about that. Maybe if I witness it, without seeking it out???

Don't know, cross that bridge should I come to it I suppose.

Daffodil

phoenix; I have to agree with your thinking...espcially since my neice age 18 months and a cousin age 6 were both killed by a drunk driver....Now I don't belong to MADD but I would and will report anyone drinking and driving...even my own child....Himself never drank and drove because I was and am almost always with him...That even goes for a number of our friends....I was the DD long before there really was one simply because I never have drank...It seems to me that's why drunks and I used to get along so well...notice I said used to...anymore I mostly don't even go around them if I can help it....Sometimes, I even send my own kid home...(he lives next door so he's walking) But it doesn't take anything more than the memory of those two little girls to convince me that I won't keep quiet or stand still for drunks driving....I have to live with myself....

phoenix

((((((((((((((((Daffodil))))))))))))))))))


phoenix

JT

The Beav has 4 DUI's and my fear was always that he would die...I have progressed to fearing that he will kill. That is my motivation for doing nothing to help him ever drive again.

Now he just got out of prison...he is on parol...and they DO NOT TEST HIM FOR ALCOHOL!! Just drugs. He was thrilled and promptly began to drink. He was also was promptly out of my house.

MADD is a bit extreme for me...but it ran through my mind. I am pissed!!

JT

phoenix

I hear you JT.When will they figure out that alcohol IS a drug too??? Why test for anything if they are going to exclude the easiest one to get???

phoenix

Daffodil

Just one thought; I 've always thought it would be neat for someone to develop a car that wouldn't start for anyone who had been drinking, not even one beer, simply because ( I don't know about your As) mine always only have 2, that is until the kid came along...He had my G.kids comvinced he was in training and had conditioned himself so he can drink more than the avetage person and still not be drunk...HA! I thought I'd choke to death on that one.

JT

There ARE devices that can be put in cars. You have to blow to start the car and periodically while it is running.

Hugs,
JT

jojo

I wish there was a law that anyone having more than one drunk driving ticket would have to have a breathalizer on their vehicle for the rest of their lives. Think of the lives it would save. My AH had to have one for a year and it was the most peaceful year of our marriage. He never even had one drink during that time. One week after it was removed he got a DUI. Here in Michigan the courts cannot order a breathalizer, it is up to the Secretary of State's office. Too bad. I've been thinking about contacting my state congressman to see if something could be done to change this.

Jo

Cecilia

I agree ,Phoenix thats a good comparison. They are kinda childish when you think about it what with the temper tantrums and lieing and all.

Strange as it may seem Elvis didnt have a problem with calling me if he thought he was too drunk to drive. And if I was with him and he drank he would just assume I was driving. He would even ask me to drive other people home.

BUT. He never thought he had a problem. His reasoning was so that he wouldnt get a ticket if he was picked up on one of our states random checks.

To his buds he was the Big Kahuna. Able to consume mass quanties and still be coherent. Dont you know all "Manly Men" are able to hold their liquor.

You might want to point THIS out to your A's. When the sh*t hits the fan you drinkin buds will deny they even heard of you. Elvis is totally alone now except for me and his Mom.

For me everything is crystal clear now. If were still together when he gets out, there will be a zero tolerance policy around here.

After all the crap thats happened I feel he owes it to me and if he doesnt then he can leave.

Truthfully tho Im not sure how things would be if all this hadnt happened. Its so easy to take the path of least resistance.