Jil

I'm 50 days sober today, and proud of it. I'm just experiencing a weird time though, because I don't ever feel like doing anything. I go to school, study, and work, but besides that nothing else. I'm not social at all anymore. Before getting sober I used to go out all the time and now I don't do anything nor do I feel the desire to. I used to always want to be with friends, whether we were drinking or not, and was always the one out doing things. I don't even care to hang out with people anymore. I know I should get out and do things, like go for a walk or movie or something, but I honestly don't feel like it. I don't really want to talk to anyone, and if a friend comes over it's nice for a while but generally I just feel content to be lazy and watch tv when I have down time. I hope I'm not lazy like this forever, but right now it's all I want to be.

FallenAngelPDX

I can relate... sobriety has made me feel lazy too. I have never spent so much time just sleeping my days off away, and just walking through the rest of the week... I guess maybe we have to force ourselves to get back out there, even if at first it doesn't seem like we're inspired to.

Reset

I was the same way but slowly came out of it.

My suggestion would be to enjoy the time alone and not overthink things.

FallenAngelPDX

Bah over-thinking things is pretty much the bane of my existence... but I am in agreement with the enjoying the time alone. I think it's something we all need... even if we don't want it. (I hate the idea of being alone, but I think ultimately some time alone is good/healthy.)

Dee74

I'm a far less social person now that I'm not drinking and drugging - but that's ok with me - this is who I am.

If you're not social though and this concerns you? it's probably good to look at things - isolation can be a problem for people in recovery sometimes - make sure you stay connected with people.

If you mean you're not motivated to do things, it might be worth checking with your Dr.
You may be depressed, and it's always worth seeing someone to deal with that IMO

D

refrigerator

I feel the same way. Life has become very boring, but at least I can get things done now that I'm sober.

stugotz

I miss all those exciting times I had in prison...

jessiecat777

I want to say congrats on day 50....and i hate to say it but i still feel like you...months later free from drugs and almost a year later from alcohol....I do however feel quite a bit better just being on this forum....i have been learning so much about myself...even from the posts i don't like or agree with...it is great to have more than one points of view.....and i hope you continue to find a comfortable spot in your sobriety.....drama free for the most part....and continue to enjoy just being you....just a clean and sober you
hats off to ya

Anna

I'm far less social too, and happy about it.

I still have things to do that interest me though, and hopefully you will become involved in some kind of activities that you enjoy as time goes by. Just be kind to yourself for now.

aasharon90

20 yrs later and I enjoy my solitude. Im not much
on crowds but can tolerate some. When I worked
I was around people all the time, so coming home
away from the noise was great. The GIFT of peace
and quiet. What an awesome GIFT. So many gifts
in recovery that I am blessed with and try never to
take it for granted.

I use to feel guilty cause I wasnt working 24 7 everyday.
Guilty for procrastinating. Then my sponsor mentioned
something to me way back when about if I did just one
thing that day then i shouldnt feel guilty. If i could manage
to vacuum the floor even if i didnt want to then that is an
accomplishment. If i got up sober that morning then that
is a HUGE accomplishment. If I helped one person today
be sharing my ESH with them then ive accomplished something.

So today i dont beat myself over the little things that once
bugged me. Learning to be kind to myself is a part of the
recovery program that I continue to work on a daily bases.

Opivotal

Hi Jil.....Congratulations on 50 days!! I was pretty much drained the first couple of months. I started getting my energy back about month 3. I purposely didn't socialize during that time as I didn't feel strong enough to resist temptation.

If your worried about how your feeling I would suggest speaking with your Doctor. A good chat and check-up may help you out.



Best Wishes to You! :ghug3

Kjell

Hi Jil-

If you're anything like me, you're going to have to learn to be social sober.

It's simply not coming naturally to me at all and probably one of the main reasons I drank so much in the first place (I enjoyed the party/bar/drug scene very much).

...but I am forcing myself to do it and I'm getting better at it. It also helps that I'm in AA and I have plenty of sober friends and opportunites there.

Just as important though, is learning to be ok with myself during "those" quiet times too.

Kjell~

StrongEnuf

I came here today for this exact reason! I am 13 days sober, and BORED out of my mind.... I need something fun but all I can think about is the bar and dancing

Misshall

Me too.. I try not isolate but I cant help it. I know being with myself if like being with a very dangerous person. I go to meetings and I work out and stay away from people who drink or might want to drink at dinner.

Dee74

Welcome to SR loganswife

As I went on in recovery I learned to trust myself more - I changed...I really genuinely did not want to drink anymore, and I began to relax and be comfortable in my own company, and in other peoples.

Keep doing the work and I'm sure that will happen for you too.

Have you got a sponsor?
D

Itchy

I felt a lot like you do for my first three months. My energy levels were crazy some days and unfocused. I am a sociable guy but I have always been a homebody after work pretty much. I enjoy people and public speaking is a skill I have. But I enjoy the little things too. I can be alone and just go from one project to another that interests me and be happy. The biggest problem is feeling a little overwhelmed at how much I need to catch up on just around the yard and workshop. I thought I was lazy but it took all of four months for me to make any headway at really enjoying being with people and being relaxed at home piddling.

Remember "it" doesn't get better, "you" get better.

Missy7

I feel the same way about becoming less social. It scares me a little. I try to get home and quit for the day. Today I achieved that. Tomorrow I have to stay out until later.

I think maybe once I got sober and looked at my home and then spent a weekend (only one--nine days) cleaning up it sort of became my "den" again. And I feel like I can run out and handle my life, but I have to run back as quickly as I can.

So, as I said in a very recent post, off to bed with a book. Hubby will watch a movie.

congrats on your achievement. perhaps you are your own best company. What would be wrong with that?

Jil

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I don't really think I'm depressed, I actually enjoy being at home doing nothing. But the fact that I'm not getting out or being social, when that's all I ever used to do, is sort of new and weird to me. I'm also a little afraid that people are going to get bored of me fast because I never want to do anything. And I'm sure if they were good friends they would stick around, but the fact is that people can't wait around for someone to want to hang out with them, and at this point I'm feeling like my antisocial ways will not change any time soon.

eaglette

This thread is incredibly reassuring. I have been feeling so blah lately! Today was 15 for me and the first that I have mustered the stamina and morivation to be productive. Thank you all so much for posting because I was feeling extremely hard on myself! One thing I have learned is you have to be gentle with yourself and treat yourself with the understanding that you would a friend.

mtnmagic

Hi Jil and welcome. Thanks for posting. I have 90 days today and have been perfectly contented to be by myself pretty much since those early days of withdrawal have past. I have wondered the same things you have and I see by the responses that I'm probably exactly where I am supposed to be in my sobriety.

I guess I'm going to look at it as a gift. Being ok with being alone is really not something I'm all that familiar with. In all honesty, I have not been a social butterfly ever, but always thought there was something wrong with me or just not comfortable being with myself. Not surprising though, cuz I didn't like myself at all.