Two weeks: when does it end?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 50
Two weeks: when does it end?
Feeling utterly and abnormally fatigued for the last couple of days.
Have no real energy to speak of - even walking around and doing basic things like laundry and washing the dishes seems like too much.
Yesterday morning I woke up in a fantastic mood, and it just degenerated for no reason over the course of the day. Almost had a panic attack on the subway - that hasn't happened to me for ages. For the last few years, the only times I have been close to an anxiety attack was when I was coming down from a terrible bender. I knew how to deal with those, mostly.
But now I am stone cold sober, and I'm not sure what's going on. I'm going to meetings and finally have a sponsor. In fact, we're meeting for coffee tomorrow before yet another meeting.
Except I just feel like I want to shut down somehow. I'm too tired to deal with any of this. I don't want to drink, per se. It's in the back of my head, but it's nothing like a real craving. It's more like a wish to just check out.
I'm working on being "more present", but the last two days have been a giftwrapped hell. This all just feels so exhausting.
It's like, ok, I'm working on getting sober, now what?
And the answer is: the rest of my life.
Except where that answer filled me with secret joy for the first while, now I just find myself thinking: oh god. That long?
Not sure where this is going. Just wanted to unload.
Have no real energy to speak of - even walking around and doing basic things like laundry and washing the dishes seems like too much.
Yesterday morning I woke up in a fantastic mood, and it just degenerated for no reason over the course of the day. Almost had a panic attack on the subway - that hasn't happened to me for ages. For the last few years, the only times I have been close to an anxiety attack was when I was coming down from a terrible bender. I knew how to deal with those, mostly.
But now I am stone cold sober, and I'm not sure what's going on. I'm going to meetings and finally have a sponsor. In fact, we're meeting for coffee tomorrow before yet another meeting.
Except I just feel like I want to shut down somehow. I'm too tired to deal with any of this. I don't want to drink, per se. It's in the back of my head, but it's nothing like a real craving. It's more like a wish to just check out.
I'm working on being "more present", but the last two days have been a giftwrapped hell. This all just feels so exhausting.
It's like, ok, I'm working on getting sober, now what?
And the answer is: the rest of my life.
Except where that answer filled me with secret joy for the first while, now I just find myself thinking: oh god. That long?
Not sure where this is going. Just wanted to unload.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
Sorry to hear your not feeling 100%, it takes time. I went through a very tired phase when I quit, it lasted about a week. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep, I think my body was trying to repair itself from the hell I had put it through. There are still days when I don't feel great but that's life and each day that I distance myself farther from alcohol its getting better. Hang in there, take a nap if possible and hopefully you will be gaining some energy back very soon.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Early sobriety can be up and down for a while. It's your body and brain adjusting to functioning without alcohol and it takes some time. There will be good days and bad days but it will get better. Remember, it took you a while to get addicted, it will take a while to get back to normal.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
I was tired alot, too. I let myself sleep in when I could. Sit around and not feel guilty I wasn't accomplishing anything. The fog is lifting and the black clouds are dissappearing. Let it happen.
I still after about 75+ days still have moments of an awesome clarity. Like all of a sudden I'm shot with a dose of reality and clear headedness and things make sense for a minute. LOL
It's an on going process....
I still after about 75+ days still have moments of an awesome clarity. Like all of a sudden I'm shot with a dose of reality and clear headedness and things make sense for a minute. LOL
It's an on going process....
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
I know it can be hard at time, but don't give up.
I still have anxiety attacks and occasional panic attacks, but I feel so much more confident in dealing with those now that I'm recovering.
Is it possible that you are depressed? It might be something to talk to your dr about.
I still have anxiety attacks and occasional panic attacks, but I feel so much more confident in dealing with those now that I'm recovering.
Is it possible that you are depressed? It might be something to talk to your dr about.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
The first few months are quite a roller coaster ride of emotions. This is all very normal. Hang in there...it will pass and things will get better. I was learning how to cope for the very first time in my adult like. I was 43 when I finally got sober. I had been drinking my feelings away since I was a teen. It takes time. It really does.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I think everyone's different, but I had a lack of energy for almost 3 months, though there was a certain amount of improvement during that time.
There's a link around here somewhere to a thread about PAWS, but you can also goggle it...... here's a synopsis:
I noticed the same thing you did: I had energy in the morning, but by afternoon I felt like a slug....... I kept my life as low-key as possible during that time, but it's hard to do...... Keep hanging in there - it really will get better.:ghug3
There's a link around here somewhere to a thread about PAWS, but you can also goggle it...... here's a synopsis:
PAWS
Post acute withdrawal symptoms are all of the symptoms you will experience after you detox from alcohol. Unlike acute withdrawal symptoms, which consist of a short list of symptoms most people experience, the list of symptoms that occur after withdrawal do not affect everyone. Some people experience PAWS for a few months while others have symptoms for a year or more. The most common PAWS symptoms include mood swings, irritability, fatigue, disturbed sleep, problems concentrating, cognitive and memory problems.
Post acute withdrawal symptoms are all of the symptoms you will experience after you detox from alcohol. Unlike acute withdrawal symptoms, which consist of a short list of symptoms most people experience, the list of symptoms that occur after withdrawal do not affect everyone. Some people experience PAWS for a few months while others have symptoms for a year or more. The most common PAWS symptoms include mood swings, irritability, fatigue, disturbed sleep, problems concentrating, cognitive and memory problems.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
For me, the first couple of weeks was all about riding out the cravings. Then after about a month I went through exactly what you're talking about Zini. All I wanted to do was stay in bed. And it took about a month before that started to change.
Everyone's different though.
And hang in there, because there is light at the end of the tunnel (and it's not an oncoming train).
Everyone's different though.
And hang in there, because there is light at the end of the tunnel (and it's not an oncoming train).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 50
Thanks guys, and thanks, especially, artsoul, for the PAWS suggestion. Been reading up on it and it sounds very familiar. I thought it was the first few days I had to watch out for in terms of the immediate effects of sobriety - turns out it's much, much longer than that.
I realize, also, that this is the point at which I always relapse - when the mood swings get to be too much and I just don't want to deal with them anymore. When drinking, I always have two moods: drunk and shamefully hungover. I guess I've learned to manage those pretty well over the years. It's clear-eyed living that's a problem.
Funny also how I have to keep reminding myself that this is not unique to me. I finally got it into my head that my addiction is a set of symptoms and behaviors that all addicts experience, and now I have to get it into my head that recovery is the same way. Hormones and chemicals and neurotransmitters and whatnot all readjusting to try and repair the damage I have wrought on my body and brain. It's hard not to feel guilt over this - my absolute biggest weakness - and not to want to drown the guilt in alcohol.
But of course that will lead to yet another spiral, and recovery next time will be even more arduous and frightening.
Am working on constructive ways of getting through this, and your words of support and understanding really do help.
Thanks.
I realize, also, that this is the point at which I always relapse - when the mood swings get to be too much and I just don't want to deal with them anymore. When drinking, I always have two moods: drunk and shamefully hungover. I guess I've learned to manage those pretty well over the years. It's clear-eyed living that's a problem.
Funny also how I have to keep reminding myself that this is not unique to me. I finally got it into my head that my addiction is a set of symptoms and behaviors that all addicts experience, and now I have to get it into my head that recovery is the same way. Hormones and chemicals and neurotransmitters and whatnot all readjusting to try and repair the damage I have wrought on my body and brain. It's hard not to feel guilt over this - my absolute biggest weakness - and not to want to drown the guilt in alcohol.
But of course that will lead to yet another spiral, and recovery next time will be even more arduous and frightening.
Am working on constructive ways of getting through this, and your words of support and understanding really do help.
Thanks.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
When drinking, I always have two moods: drunk and shamefully hungover. I guess I've learned to manage those pretty well over the years. It's clear-eyed living that's a problem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: PA
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by artsoul 
Oh so true, so true, so true..... we get used to it and then when we get sober, it's like starting at kindergarten....... I think we need to give ourselves a lot of pats on the back and cheers for getting through those early days...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ithaca, NY
Posts: 8
Hang in there!
I know exactly how you feel. I have 111 days sober and sometimes just doing everyday things that need to be done can be exhausting. The first two weeks I was sober I was just existing. After that I was on a "pink cloud" for about two months, but that came crashing down a couple of weeks ago. Doing anything is just physically and mentally exhausting. To make matters worse I am a student. There are three weeks of school left and I have major papers coming up. Unfortunately, I feel like I cannot concentrate and have no motivation to get anything done. I am pushing through though and my sponsor tells me that she went through the same thing and that it will get better in time. All I can say is hang in there! Keep going to meetings and keep working with your sponsor. I feel the same way that you do: I do not want to drink, but I feel absolutely horrible. In the rooms, they all keep saying that it will get better, so I have to trust that they are right. One day at a time!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: PA
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by Angelus1775
I know exactly how you feel. I have 111 days sober and sometimes just doing everyday things that need to be done can be exhausting. The first two weeks I was sober I was just existing. After that I was on a "pink cloud" for about two months, but that came crashing down a couple of weeks ago. Doing anything is just physically and mentally exhausting. To make matters worse I am a student. There are three weeks of school left and I have major papers coming up. Unfortunately, I feel like I cannot concentrate and have no motivation to get anything done. I am pushing through though and my sponsor tells me that she went through the same thing and that it will get better in time. All I can say is hang in there! Keep going to meetings and keep working with your sponsor. I feel the same way that you do: I do not want to drink, but I feel absolutely horrible. In the rooms, they all keep saying that it will get better, so I have to trust that they are right. One day at a time!
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