Notices

Confession Time

Old 04-16-2011, 08:48 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
crittery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 94
Confession Time

Ok, here goes. I've been feeling pretty good lately. Haven't smoked or drank in a week. Until tonight, - I had 2 Jack Daniels. Here's the story:

So I'm getting along pretty good with my family, went for a motorbike ride with my father today, been talking heaps to my mum and sister etc. I'm feeling confident from kicking all my nasty habits, and I'm not depressed at all. So anyway tonight we decide to play cards (500). My father and I win the first game. Then my father asks everyone if they want some Jack Daniels (my parents aren't drinkers, only on special occasions). My mum wanted some, my sister just wanted coke. My dad "accidentally" put a tiny bit of JD in hers... she doesn't have any problems with drinking though. I loled when she was like Daaad and he was like oh I put a little bit in then remembered you didn't want some... haha. When I was asked, I thought, why not? I'm only a problem drinker when I'm depressed. So I drank up (made a couple of mistakes in cards, reneged once but realised straight after and corrected it). So all in all had a great night. There's plenty of Jack left if I want some more, but I don't. Still a little bit tipsy.

But I'm craving bad for a joint. Good thing I don't any though!!! Also craving for a cigarette annnd I've got a nice full pouch of Champion Ruby in my drawer... what do you guys think I should do? I know most likely y'all gonna say no don't smoke it, but at least now you know what I'm thinking. I think I can manage not smoking, or rolling one and just taking a couple of puffs before putting it out, but I like the clean feeling of not smoking (who the hell invented smoking anyway?? it's the most unnatural thing ever, I swear...)

I know I could have just not posted this, but I would feel dishonest, and it could lead to me doing all sorts of crap and keeping it quiet. I need to get it out there you know.

As always, thanks for the support, and be honest with me as I am with you. Peace.
crittery is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 09:00 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
sailorjohn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by crittery View Post
Ok, here goes. I've been feeling pretty good lately. Haven't smoked or drank in a week. Until tonight, - I had 2 Jack Daniels. Here's the story:

blah, blah, blah, blah.................
You wanted honesty, sorry if that came off as a little harsh.

Every sober person here had some kind of 'story' at one time or another.
sailorjohn is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 09:08 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
crittery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 94
Hey that's cool I did blabber on a little bit. Just so happy at the moment! It's not like I'm gonna make a thing of it, just some family bonding time, and as I said my parents rarely drink. I'm not gonna go out drinking with mates as that's when I overdo it. I'm also not promoting alcohol in any way, it can be addicting and nasty stuff, and if I fall back into depression I'll make sure not to have a drop EVER - because I know it will make it worse.

Appreciate your honesty.
crittery is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 11:10 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
EmeraldRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
If there were any stories I could tell they would ultimately end up with the words "then I woke up with a hangover". The end!
I understand the details to your story thinking it was innocent family time. But I'm not really sure, to be quite honest, how bad you are expecting to quit. Do you want sobriety? Or are temptations and explaining them on thier behalf easier. Just asking because sometimes I'm not sure as if I understand peoples intentions in their recovery.
Personally if I were quitting the smoke I woudn't have any anywhere near me.
EmeraldRose is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 11:13 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: PA
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by crittery View Post
Ok, here goes. I've been feeling pretty good lately. Haven't smoked or drank in a week. Until tonight, - I had 2 Jack Daniels. Here's the story:

So I'm getting along pretty good with my family, went for a motorbike ride with my father today, been talking heaps to my mum and sister etc. I'm feeling confident from kicking all my nasty habits, and I'm not depressed at all. So anyway tonight we decide to play cards (500). My father and I win the first game. Then my father asks everyone if they want some Jack Daniels (my parents aren't drinkers, only on special occasions). My mum wanted some, my sister just wanted coke. My dad "accidentally" put a tiny bit of JD in hers... she doesn't have any problems with drinking though. I loled when she was like Daaad and he was like oh I put a little bit in then remembered you didn't want some... haha. When I was asked, I thought, why not? I'm only a problem drinker when I'm depressed. So I drank up (made a couple of mistakes in cards, reneged once but realised straight after and corrected it). So all in all had a great night. There's plenty of Jack left if I want some more, but I don't. Still a little bit tipsy.

But I'm craving bad for a joint. Good thing I don't any though!!! Also craving for a cigarette annnd I've got a nice full pouch of Champion Ruby in my drawer... what do you guys think I should do? I know most likely y'all gonna say no don't smoke it, but at least now you know what I'm thinking. I think I can manage not smoking, or rolling one and just taking a couple of puffs before putting it out, but I like the clean feeling of not smoking (who the hell invented smoking anyway?? it's the most unnatural thing ever, I swear...)

I know I could have just not posted this, but I would feel dishonest, and it could lead to me doing all sorts of crap and keeping it quiet. I need to get it out there you know.

As always, thanks for the support, and be honest with me as I am with you. Peace.
hey man...at least you got honest...isn't that the first step we all in recovery live by? and who here is perfect or has the right to judge? did someone judge you when you finally decided enough was enough? i don't mean to pee in everyone heres cheerios...or cause a major uproar...i just think people have forgotten what it feels like to f*** up...and if not on here...where is this person supposed to get real with his/her problems without people that are stuck on their high horses about how and when your moment of clarity comes. someone at some point has to say enough with the hipocrosy and live and let live and be supportive..which is why i came on here in the first place...ok so he messed up...darnit get up and try again and his story actually could possibly save someone from the same pain he went through...maybe even save a life!!! and that is a big deal!!!! i say hats off to you...and thank you for being brave enough to share this...ok i will stop now..sorry if i offended anyone...
jessiecat777 is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 11:31 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Missy7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
I am actually so glad to hear that you knew what to do.

I love where I am (day seven). And I really, really respect your honesty. I don't expect to get through life without making a mistake. Heck. I'm just hoping to get through today.
Missy7 is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 11:32 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Missy7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
The original poster was crittery, not missy. I'm too early to have had the chance to mess up. Give me time though
Missy7 is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 11:43 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Missy7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
I think you mean crittery...i'm so confused

i drank o'doul's last night. i thought it might be cheating but took the risk. it wasn't that good but it did come in a brown bottle.
Missy7 is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 12:16 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
MsCooterBrown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Odouls tastes like used bong water...(DEE DON'T) ...if you want a brown bottle get A&W root beer. The other thing is not only does it taste like cr@p but after a couple it made me want the real thing. If it works for you..go for it but it was a teaser to me plus it was disgusting.

Crittery is who you mean HT! I have to say that I did not see remorse in your post Crittery..I saw it as it was family so it didn't count..it was after all only 2.
"So all in all had a great night. There's plenty of Jack left if I want some more, but I don't. Still a little bit tipsy."

Leaving the door open for it to happen again?
I guess I don't see the fun part..I see hangovers and anxiety. I quit messing with any fun association after I lost 2 friends in 2010 DEAD of alcohol related BS. One had been to rehab and just really struggled. He bounced in and out of sobriety until it finally killed him. He was found dead in his bed..choked on his own vomit.. The door is not always open for second chances. But I guess you have to live it to understand it.
MsCooterBrown is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 12:16 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
If you really want to quit, trow out the cigs and stop drinking. Also you think you can control it, sooner or later you may loose control. At least thats what happened to me. For me moderation does not work. Also the less I am around alcohol and cigs the better for me not to be tempted to pick up again. It is hard enough without being around them
SASA is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 12:34 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: PA
Posts: 130
Originally Posted by MsCooterBrown View Post
Odouls tastes like used bong water...(DEE DON'T) ...if you want a brown bottle get A&W root beer. The other thing is not only does it taste like cr@p but after a couple it made me want the real thing. If it works for you..go for it but it was a teaser to me plus it was disgusting.

Crittery is who you mean HT! I have to say that I did not see remorse in your post Crittery..I saw it as it was family so it didn't count..it was after all only 2.
"So all in all had a great night. There's plenty of Jack left if I want some more, but I don't. Still a little bit tipsy."

Leaving the door open for it to happen again?
I guess I don't see the fun part..I see hangovers and anxiety. I quit messing with any fun association after I lost 2 friends in 2010 DEAD of alcohol related BS. One had been to rehab and just really struggled. He bounced in and out of sobriety until it finally killed him. He was found dead in his bed..choked on his own vomit.. The door is not always open for second chances. But I guess you have to live it to understand it.
Well i agree with you on that last note especially...people in my life that can still have a drink and aren't alcoholics or addicts...well i beleive that they just don't get it...unless they really want to and are open to learning about this crappy disease of addiction. I for one have been in many situations where i tried to justify my actions and ended up worse than i started...i have lived it and unfortunatly had to relive it some more before i finally saw it and really just had enough of the bs. I don'y believe i have another chance and contiue to believe that very thing and it keeps me grounded in a way....the fear of dying and the fear of just not living or existing ways heavy on my mind at all times. I guess whatever works for you is what works for you...i am not in a place where i can judge anyone...only myself...and if i can help i will because only a couple of days on here and i feel better already....and one more thing i may not like everything i read...but really that's life and everyone has an opinion and if i can't learn something from what i read what was the point in the first place of even reading it? I may have months of not using and a year not drinking but i still have so much i can learn from these forums...and for that i am so grateful for all of you
jessiecat777 is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 01:56 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,049
Many of us had false starts.
It's hard to change our lives - to go against the flow.

It's easy to think 'just one won't hurt'.

I did that once - it was 2 years before I got myself under control again.

If you do nothing else, don't underestimate the task, guys.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 03:55 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
EmeraldRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Originally Posted by Missy7 View Post
I think you mean crittery...i'm so confused

i drank o'doul's last night. .

We talked about NA Beer in rehab.
((I think)) that its' pretty much the same as sitting around drinking white grape juice in a wine glass. You AREN'T changing your habit and the habit will be more assessable to resume if it isn't changed altogether.
NA beers do have some extent of alcohol in them I believe.
(Correct me if I'm wrong. I thought that is what I've heard)
I would think that if you were searching for sobriety you shouldn't replace a bad habit with a bad habit. But that's me...I'd prefer to have tea or soda and KNOW my choice and habit had changed.
But like I say, that is my personal preference.
EmeraldRose is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 04:15 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Supercrew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
If I remember correctly, Crittery didn't say he was an alcoholic, just that drinking was causing him some anxiety and depression and was looking to cut back. He really wanted to quit smoking pot and cigarettes. I'm not condoning him drinking, but I really don't thinks he has a problem stopping. Just some of the chemicals he is using have made him try and see if life for him would better without them.

Confessing you are drinking when you aren't an alcoholic probably will be treated just as badly as if you were in this forum. But drinking does make it easier for the smoking habits to come back.
Supercrew is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 05:10 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,049
Regardless of what kind of a drinker someone is, alcohol is probably the worst thing you can throw at a chronic anxiety condition or depression.

I have 20 years experience that attests to that.

If you can go teetotal - even for a while - Crittery, I think it's worth it.

I think you'll have a far better idea then whether alcohol is a problem for you, and you'll be able to gauge the effect on your anxiety and depression too.

Alcohol - The Worst Treatment For Anxiety

Have you been seeing a Dr about any of these issues?
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-16-2011, 09:40 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
crittery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 94
Phew a lot of posts to get through, thank you all for your responses!

Originally Posted by SASA
If you really want to quit, trow out the cigs and stop drinking. Also you think you can control it, sooner or later you may loose control. At least thats what happened to me. For me moderation does not work. Also the less I am around alcohol and cigs the better for me not to be tempted to pick up again. It is hard enough without being around them
I'm going to give my tobacco away to a friend who smokes when I see him next. I'm not a fan of throwing away things I paid for. But if he doesn't want it I'll throw it out or give it to someone else. Hopefully, when he sees that I'm serious about quitting he'll quit too. I think you're wise when you say that sooner or later I'll start smoking again, if I drink. So honestly, I think I should devote a month or two to complete sobriety and see how I go.

Originally Posted by MsCooterBrown
Leaving the door open for it to happen again?
I guess I don't see the fun part..I see hangovers and anxiety. I quit messing with any fun association after I lost 2 friends in 2010 DEAD of alcohol related BS. One had been to rehab and just really struggled. He bounced in and out of sobriety until it finally killed him. He was found dead in his bed..choked on his own vomit.. The door is not always open for second chances. But I guess you have to live it to understand it.
I can't throw out my father's whiskey... and it lasts for so long that I'm sure they'll notice if any goes missing.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends, I've also had relations die from drinking too much, for too long. My main problem is weed and other drugs, which I can't take at all without becoming hooked. Alcohol doesn't have as strong a grip over me, and if any health problems arose from drinking it, I would stop straight away. Dee raised a good point about the connection between drinking and anxiety however, so that's a good reason for me to quit.

Originally Posted by jessiecat777
hey man...at least you got honest...isn't that the first step we all in recovery live by? and who here is perfect or has the right to judge? did someone judge you when you finally decided enough was enough? i don't mean to pee in everyone heres cheerios...or cause a major uproar...i just think people have forgotten what it feels like to f*** up...and if not on here...where is this person supposed to get real with his/her problems without people that are stuck on their high horses about how and when your moment of clarity comes. someone at some point has to say enough with the hipocrosy and live and let live and be supportive..which is why i came on here in the first place...ok so he messed up...darnit get up and try again and his story actually could possibly save someone from the same pain he went through...maybe even save a life!!! and that is a big deal!!!! i say hats off to you...and thank you for being brave enough to share this...ok i will stop now..sorry if i offended anyone...
Thanks Jessie! Honesty is indeed a great virtue. I think I'm still stuck in the frame of mind where I think that I can have more fun using substances, and I really have to change that outlook on life. It will happen slowly but when it does, I'll be the happiest guy on the planet.

Originally Posted by Supercrew View Post
If I remember correctly, Crittery didn't say he was an alcoholic, just that drinking was causing him some anxiety and depression and was looking to cut back. He really wanted to quit smoking pot and cigarettes. I'm not condoning him drinking, but I really don't thinks he has a problem stopping. Just some of the chemicals he is using have made him try and see if life for him would better without them.

Confessing you are drinking when you aren't an alcoholic probably will be treated just as badly as if you were in this forum. But drinking does make it easier for the smoking habits to come back.
I'm not entirely sure what defines an alcoholic, but you are correct. In the past I've drank more than I should have but I usually know my limits and stop before I get sick. I'm one of those guys that used to drink almost every day, but it would only be about 4 - 6 beers a day. This is still bad because your body needs time to recover. I was really depressed and smoking a lot of pot at this stage of my life.

I've also had my share of binge drinking (happened a fair bit in my youth) but I stopped doing that after embarrassing myself a few times and enduring the worst hangovers imaginable. For me, getting that drunk just isn't worth it at all.

Well, I never had that cigarette last night. Feels good. But it took a lot of restraint... if I had drank more I definitely would have smoked.

Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Regardless of what kind of a drinker someone is, alcohol is probably the worst thing you can throw at a chronic anxiety condition or depression.

I have 20 years experience that attests to that.

If you can go teetotal - even for a while - Crittery, I think it's worth it.

I think you'll have a far better idea then whether alcohol is a problem for you, and you'll be able to gauge the effect on your anxiety and depression too.

Alcohol - The Worst Treatment For Anxiety

Have you been seeing a Dr about any of these issues?
D
Thank you Dee, I'm going to take your advice and go teetotal.

I've seen a few doctors in the past but they've never been able to help me much. I've tried Effexor (anti-depressant) but stopped using it because it was making me dizzy. I was also prescribed Prozac but I never took any after reading a lot of scary stuff on the internet about the drug. The doctors also went over relaxation techniques, mind over matter, meditation etc. which helped a tiny bit, but not much. I would prefer not taking meds if I can help it. I'm eating a LOT better at the moment and will probably start cycling again.
crittery is offline  
Old 04-17-2011, 08:13 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: toronto canada
Posts: 181
who the hell invented smoking anyway?? it's the most unnatural thing ever, I swear...)
(and i curse sir waltr raleigh he was such a stupid get).
beatles white album.
raleigh brought it back from the americas 16th century.
ulverston is offline  
Old 04-17-2011, 08:40 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Missy7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
About NA beer. I'm utterly aware that it may be problematic. Remember, I'm really a binge drinker, maybe not an old-style alcoholic (as defined by my dad--who binged 24/7) so I have lots and lots of education. That and at least three alkie sisters, years of trying to AA to help with my dad (He has to want to, he has to want to), etc. I know about changing the patterns.

But my own issue involves two habits: my drinking problem (a very real thing) and my social life (also pretty real). And I'll tell you, the NA beer worked very well. I didn't love it, but all bars carry it and I can order it and I am not a big soda drinker. I am on a diet though (a serious one) and I'm guessing it's all the calories without the kick so that is under consideration.

I can tell you also--as an alcohol vampire--that if there is alcohol in those suckers I didn't catch a whiff of it. I had one each at two bars, did not desire another, and then suggested we go home when I'm usually keying up for the next great adventure--if not alcohol then food. So for me, it's a terrific alternative. If bars would carry diet 7-up I would be fine. But very few do.
Missy7 is offline  
Old 04-17-2011, 03:04 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,049
The problem with NA beer for me is it looks like beer, it tastes like beer and it feels like beer in my hand.

Especially in a bar, it always led me back to real thing....maybe not the first night...but eventually

I fully realise that maybe not your story, Missy...

but why NA beer?
if not a soft drink why not juice, water...?

D

Last edited by Dee74; 04-17-2011 at 03:37 PM. Reason: added
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-17-2011, 03:35 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: ft. lauderdale florida
Posts: 275
"I am not a fan of throwing things away I paid for?"
umm, you might want to re-think that.
wow1323 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:24 AM.